Help a newbie?

Help a newbie? (Full Version)

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Monkeyontuesday -> Help a newbie? (3/22/2008 10:49:20 PM)
Hey A/all -- I am new to the site and just exploring more fully this BDSM scene thing... My current boyfriend has never even had what most would term "rough sex"... Poor kid. But I am teaching him well. ;-) Anyway, my birthday is in the summer, and I have convinced him to take me to a fetish event. I have never personally attended one, and he obviously has not, either. My previous Dom has advised an outfit I used to wear for him -- It is comprised of a pencil skirt and generally a white and black satin shirt and any pair of heels that matched. He has since advised me to wear the skirt with fishnets and a white blouse with a waist cincher and mary janes with a heel... Anyone have any ideas on this variation? Where would I even FIND a waist cincher...? Or the shoes, really? All I can find are Mary Jane flats... And what should the hunnie wear? I am so lost.... [:(]

TheHungryTiger -> RE: Help a newbie? (3/23/2008 1:39:20 AM)
Depends a lot on the fetish event ..... If it is primaraly educational classes and workshops you are much better off with jeans an a T-shirt. And if the event space is being shared with some other vanilia group I would avoid tshirts with naughty or perverted slogans on them. If its more like a fetish ball then your fine with some of the wilder outfits. In fasct, some events have a mandatory dress code at the door where you wont be permited in UNLESS you are dressed fetish. The 'naughty secetary' look is quite fine and personaly a fetish I like. However, just be aware that heals and a waist cintcher is going to give you a bit of mobility problems. Sitting or bending over is sometimes touch if the corset is tight. And also be aware that if your not used to shallow breathing you might not be able to stay in a corset for an extended length of time. As far as shoping I am not sure. Your profile says Houstin TX and the only corset shop I know of there is http://www.azacdesign.com/ But since I have dont have any direct experence with them I cant recomend them one way or the other. Boyfriend is a difrent problem totaly. Dressing fetish as a guy without looking like an idiot is a monumental task. However, since your going for the naughty secetary look, then a nicely talored suit might be the perfect match for him.

camille65 -> RE: Help a newbie? (3/23/2008 6:56:54 AM)
If you have a particular event chosen see if they have a website with some years past photos on it.There is a lot of variation, is it going to be held outdoors? At night?I really suggest doing a bit of research, seeking out other similar events and looking at how the folks there dressed. As to finding a waist cincher, try Google or EBay. Some out there are 'mock' cinchers meaning you don't need to do the full lace up (velcro or stretchy material used instead) and if it isn't something you plan to wear again I wouldn't spend a lot of money on it. Most of all dress in a way that makes YOU feel good!Have fun.

Lucylastic -> RE: Help a newbie? (3/23/2008 7:11:40 AM)
Hello Monkey and welcome to the forums, I have sent you email to your account here:) Have fun, you will get a lot of great links Lucy

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Help a newbie? (3/23/2008 9:03:49 AM)
Before you select the outfit, select the event. Wearing what you have described to something that is outdoors would be a nightmare. I am with the others, decide on your event and see what others have worn. Remember your new boyfriend (which I am not sure is Dom or sub t you, you hadnt mentioned) will be with you and since it is his first event you might want to avoid an overly flashy costume or outfit and drawing added attention to the two of you. You want him to enjoy it as well, and part of that will be being comfortable there, dress wise and also being with you. If you are getting a ton of buzz he might be put off as well. DV

chaosforge -> RE: Help a newbie? (3/23/2008 1:26:04 PM)
as couples, we attended a new years thing, while a single friend went to a fetish event with the main theme of BBW. oh she was done up beautifully in ripped jeans with stripped stocking underneath and cute cute f*** me boots. she eyed the collar i wore, then mused on simmilar "jewelry". she was advised by others not to appear more into any kink than she actually was. don't know if this helps any, but it's all i've got on the matter.-just phoenix

Lynnxz -> RE: Help a newbie? (3/23/2008 1:35:30 PM)
Haha, I was in Hot Topic the other day and noticed they had some cheap waist cinchers. They probably won't even constrict you too much, probably a good thing to get and try out, just to see if they appeal to you.

ThunderRoad -> RE: Help a newbie? (3/23/2008 2:14:45 PM)
If it's an educational event like Kinky Kollege, a schoolgirl outfit is always perfect. Mostly, though, you want to be able to have something on so the skirt can be lifted easily to allow access for a quick swat :)

midgetmafiosa -> RE: Help a newbie? (3/23/2008 5:47:04 PM)
I think I need a Dom to dress me. I have ZERO fetish appropriate clothes, and really wanted to go to a recent fetish ball. Alas. I felt like Cinderella, sans fairy godmother.

Monkeyontuesday -> RE: Help a newbie? (3/23/2008 8:04:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: midgetmafiosa I think I need a Dom to dress me. I have ZERO fetish appropriate clothes, and really wanted to go to a recent fetish ball. Alas. I felt like Cinderella, sans fairy godmother. Alas and alack, I feel the same. Where are those damn fairy Godmothers, anyway?! [8D]

SNoB -> RE: Help a newbie? (3/23/2008 10:59:40 PM)
I would check out the local munch, meet people, ask around, find people that went to that event last year and ask what the dress was like. Some events even have a "welcome group" for people who are there for the first time. As for a male at a fetish event, all you need to do is wear black to blend in. There is a local event that always says "fetish dress required" but I think that is more for the S&M crowd (stand and model).

Monkeyontuesday -> RE: Help a newbie? (3/23/2008 11:26:57 PM)
btw, thank all of you for all of the advice! It is most helpful and appreciated!! [:D]

MsStarlett -> RE: Help a newbie? (3/25/2008 4:35:28 AM)
Sorry, just saw this. One of my favorites has a shoe fetish. I help us BOTH out by bargain shopping for shoes. I don't break his bank account demanding $100 shoes... and he buys them three pairs at a time for me. It's a big win/win. Our favorite site is electriqueboutique.com They are da-BOMB for fetish shoes. Not always the highest quality for wearing all the time... but who really wears 5 inch stilettos in a foot race?

johnfire -> RE: Help a newbie? (3/25/2008 6:48:53 AM)
We had a ballet shoe race at one of the clubs one night. Didn't go far or fast, and we figured it was going to end up as a crawling race anyway, lol

dodedo -> RE: Help a newbie? (4/1/2008 1:42:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Monkeyontuesday Anyone have any ideas on this variation? Where would I even FIND a waist cincher...? Or the shoes, really? All I can find are Mary Jane flats... You can find kinky/fetishy clothes in a lot of different vanilla places. I personally do a lot of shopping at Frederick's of Hollywood, which has some absolutely fantastic deals and spiffy clothes. I don't know off the top of my head if they have a waist cincher, but they do have a lot of corset styles, above and below bust, for under $80. For the shoes, I know my local mall has a shoe store aimed at high school aged females that has some really, really neat shoes. Again, they're inexpensive. If I were you, I'd check places you might not think about otherwise - look at Deb, if you have one, or Forever21. Look at places that supply high school aged chicks with prom clothing - there are a LOT of different shoe styles to be found in the backs of these stores.

Lynnxz -> RE: Help a newbie? (4/1/2008 1:46:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SNoB I would check out the local munch, meet people, ask around, find people that went to that event last year and ask what the dress was like. Some events even have a "welcome group" for people who are there for the first time. As for a male at a fetish event, all you need to do is wear black to blend in. There is a local event that always says "fetish dress required" but I think that is more for the S&M crowd (stand and model). Hahaha.. I know exactly the peeps you are talking about... fetishwear for me is something to show up in, look sexy in for about 5 min... then to be stuffed in a locker somewhere as I run around in heels and possibly a little silk black robe for the rest of the night.

saradeanna469 -> RE: Help a newbie? (4/1/2008 2:28:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Monkeyontuesday Anyone have any ideas on this variation? Where would I even FIND a waist cincher...? Or the shoes, really? All I can find are Mary Jane flats... For a waist cincher, I can personally recommend an ebay store called alter-ego-erotics*. I bought a steel-boned, leather waist cincher from them that rocks. The price was right and they shipped fast. For the shoes you are looking for, I just googled, "mary janes heels" and came up with several links. Now I'm totally having to fight the urge to shoe shop.

DBnBecca -> RE: Help a newbie? (4/2/2008 7:42:36 AM)
For shoes here are some ideas. http://www.3wishes.com/shoes.asp they have several shoes that would work. My wife owns several of them. Their customer service is excellenta s well and they usually have free shipping. DB

underhisthumb -> RE: Help a newbie? (4/2/2008 8:46:40 AM)
Houston? Oh girl can I help you out! LOL! First place for you to go is Erotic Cabaret. The website is Http://www.EroticCabaret.com They have 2 locations, one in Montrose and one on Westheimer near the Beltway. They carry everything from shoes and boots to fetish costumes, adult toys, leashes, collars to sexy club outfits and corsets galore. You can almost always find something to fit the bill at a price you can afford. Next, check out Dareware on Westheimer. They have a website but your best bet is to just hit the store itself. They carry alot of one of a kind items, and are the ones behind the Fetish Ball and Summer Sin parties here. The staff is friendly and oh so knowledgeable. I went in there last month and fell in love with everything they put me in. If you need help and direction, this is the place! One other place worth checking into is Eros 1207. http://www.eros1207.com/main.html It is hit or miss, but they have a backroom with an awesome collection of BDSM wear, toys, etc. Oh, and the local Cindies. Ive gotten a cincher or two there myself! Hope that helps, and if you need a shopping buddy, send me an email![:)]

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