Online vs offline BDSM (Full Version)

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callmetober -> Online vs offline BDSM (3/23/2008 9:00:18 PM)

As a practical beginner to BDSM, I am most interested in finding someone who I can act out my fantasies out with in real-life. However, provincial lesbian dommes seem pretty hard to come by. I've always been hesitant to try out online domination for a number of reasons - not least the fact that it's far too easy to just close the window if I get scared! - but short of moving to London, I don't know if there are any alternatives.

So my question, I suppose, is this: are there any advantages to cyber-domination that I'm overlooking? Is there any way to force myself to actually keep responding to someone if they offer to play with me online?



Boondoggle -> RE: Online vs offline BDSM (3/23/2008 9:07:00 PM)

Well, short of actual blackmail or allowing someone to control your computer, no, there's nothing actually preventing you from running away. However, the goal of that sort of online play is to entice the other person to want to stay, and come back for more. And it is a fairly safe way to start to explore your kinks exactly because you can just cut off communication if something goes horribly wrong. At the same time, be very careful you don't invest too much in that sort of relationship without some sort of further assurance that the other person won't abandon you.



MasterFireMaam -> RE: Online vs offline BDSM (3/23/2008 9:08:56 PM)

If you really enjoy and can get off with RPGs, you might like an online cyber relationship. But, if you are craving something truly physical and an interaction/relationship with something beyond an online personna, you won't be satisfied.

Master Fire



chamberqueen -> RE: Online vs offline BDSM (3/23/2008 9:10:13 PM)

I have dommed a lot of subs online.  It typically starts with simple conversation to get to know the person better.  It is important to let the Domme know what you are hoping for and to be completely honest, while at the same time making sure She lets you know how to fulfill Her needs.  It can be very enjoyable and you can become very close to someone that way.  Keep in mind that each Mistress will have Her own protocols; for instance whether or not to use webcam, whether you are allowed to contact them first or whether you are to wait to hear from them, etc.  It isn't as good as real time but can be quite fulfilling until you can find that real time relationship.



Maya2001 -> RE: Online vs offline BDSM (3/23/2008 9:20:03 PM)

There is alos the possibility of interacting with switches who have experience in both topping and bottoming...you do not have to limit yourself just to dommes



mellian -> RE: Online vs offline BDSM (3/24/2008 11:21:37 AM)

Good way to start as I have way back when at 16 and on, but gradually grown to dislike it personally due to being completally unreal, fake, and to easy to get away. Hence I dislike any Dommes pulling out this "online trial" crap before meeting, or filling out some ridiculous online application before chatting. Better off not bothering to message anyone and just meet people at local BDSM events.





colouredin -> RE: Online vs offline BDSM (3/24/2008 1:31:23 PM)

I started online and if you want something then you carry on doing it, in regards to everything else you have said I messaged you the other side about local events and stuff, kink doesnt only live in London :P



daddyncherry -> RE: Online vs offline BDSM (3/24/2008 6:44:50 PM)

When i first met my Daddy i kinda ran away from his online presence, but we weren't doing any kind of online scene stuff....It was who he was emotionally, mentally and physically that made me run. He was everything i wanted, so it scared me and i ran, but because he was everything, i returned...........i knew from the get-go that he was a Dominant, so i was kind of "toast" almost immediately.

So you may find yourself talking with someone who you find really attractiive, is everything you thought you might want or need, and then it may just happen without you even knowing it.

When he and i were talking for the longest time, i didn't even think he was Domming me yet, then, once we got to a certain point, i realized that he'd been dominating me almost since our first discussion...kooky how that worked out [:)]



metalmiss -> RE: Online vs offline BDSM (3/31/2008 4:58:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: callmetober

As a practical beginner to BDSM, I am most interested in finding someone who I can act out my fantasies out with in real-life. However, provincial lesbian dommes seem pretty hard to come by. I've always been hesitant to try out online domination for a number of reasons - not least the fact that it's far too easy to just close the window if I get scared! - but short of moving to London, I don't know if there are any alternatives.

So my question, I suppose, is this: are there any advantages to cyber-domination that I'm overlooking? Is there any way to force myself to actually keep responding to someone if they offer to play with me online?



There is nothing out there that will force you not to run away.. I tend to trust my instincts & when the little voices in my head say run.. i run.. as fast as my little legs will carry me! Because usually i find they're saying it for a very good reason.

Cyber BDSM.. Well i know alot of people out there seem to get alot of enjoyment from it.. But to me it can't even begin to start comparing itself with a real life experience. At the end of the day, online play is only words on a screen.. There's no touch, no depth & no real rush to be gained from it.. Afterall.. How can somebody REALLY be spanked, flogged, caned or indeed Dominated over an internet connection?

My advice would be to try the online thing, as i have said before.. Many people out there really seem to get alot of enjoyment from it.. But if it's something more real that you seek, then never give up looking. You never know whats just around the corner.



CelticPrince -> RE: Online vs offline BDSM (3/31/2008 6:13:55 PM)

tober,

being a male Dominant I can address the concept even tho your interest is in dommes
On line can be healty, instructive and after a time insiteful of the person your sceneing with. There is no need to run now is there? a polite Ma'am I am just not ready for that will suffice.

CP



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