RE: "The Submissive lie"

RE: "The Submissive lie" (Full Version)

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LadyHathor -> RE: "The Submissive lie" (3/24/2008 12:06:53 PM)
*smiles, trust Me As, even when one likes being a Domina if feels pretty damn selfless, but that is suited for another thread!*

DesFIP -> RE: "The Submissive lie" (3/24/2008 1:45:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterDoc1 Someone said that the POINT of submission is sometimes doing what you don't like; it is not submission if you only do what pleases you. I tend to agree with that. Liking everything that you do (or getting "wet" from it) is NOT an essential component of submission. However if you define submission as doing things you don't like, then we would all be in relationships with people we didn't like, doing things that make us unhappy. Like Aqua's example of her turning domme. And that's patently ridiculous. For me, the point of submission is allowing him to take the lead. That can be in simple things like deciding what flavor of ice cream or where to stop to eat. I'm happy following him because he doesn't sit around saying "I have to test her submission by making her eat a worm". If he was the sort of person who did things like that, then he wouldn't be someone who I respected enough to submit to. Doing things for no reason other than to deliberately make someone unhappy in order to see if she would do it, smells highly insecure to me.

KatsClaws12 -> RE: "The Submissive lie" (3/24/2008 3:08:02 PM)
I like many do not enjoy housework or doing the dishes and things of that nature. Yet when I am at my Mistresses house I do anything thing that I can or see that needs to be done unless it is one of the kids chores. She hardly ever has to ask me to do these things for Her. When She does I dont groan or complain I just do as She has asked. I know that a messy house drives Her up the wall so when ever I see a full ashtray or something that needs to be picked up I do it not because I enjoy it but because I know that She will apprecaite the help and will be able to relax knowing that it is done and She doesnt have to do it. I try to anticipate Her needs as much as possiable. Sometimes She has to tell me to sit down and relax. This is hard for me to do at times because I know if I go ahead and do it then when I have the energy then She wont have to worry about it later. So no it doesnt get me off or make me wet. It gives me the feeling of satisfication/happiness that I have done something that makes Her day/life a little bit easier. Not the task that I am doing but how it makes Her feel in the long run.[:D]

BRNaughtyAngel -> RE: "The Submissive lie" (3/24/2008 3:11:43 PM)
I don't get all wet and hot and bothered by cleaning His house, but I do enjoy being of service to Him in ways that please Him and make His life easier. That in itself gives me the warm fuzzies. It's not always easy or enjoyable doing these things for Him because He's a bit of a perfectionist, and because sometimes I'm just pooped already, but I do them. I do think that some folks confuse service with submission. One can serve without submitting, and one can submit without serving. Some of us just happen to need to do both. [:)]

Evility -> RE: "The Submissive lie" (3/24/2008 4:29:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP However if you define submission as doing things you don't like, then we would all be in relationships with people we didn't like, doing things that make us unhappy. Luckily he didn't. It wasn't even close to what he said.

MRandme -> RE: "The Submissive lie" (3/24/2008 4:50:43 PM)
Several thoughts here, competing for space and since my head is killing me, i am just going to jot them down without my usual effort at being coherent. 1) At the beginning of our relationship, my Master told me directly that there would be times as a slave that i would not enjoy what He would do, that it would not always be fun and that i would have to do things i did not want to -- but that He expected obedience regardless. He was right. But i am rewarded amply when i finish and am happy with Him. That i do it even though i dislike it is part of the service and the submission. What value is there in "i'll submit to You as long as You only ask me to do things i want to do."? 2) Abraham Lincoln supposedly said there are no unselfish acts. Someone argued with him and asked why he helped a stranger. He replied that it was selfish becuase he would not have been able to sleep that night if he hadn't. (paraphrased, as i can't remember it exactly.) 3) umm... crap i forget. Bleeping headache! g

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: "The Submissive lie" (3/24/2008 6:02:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl It's easy to be submissive when you're doing things you like, the real test is when you get to the things you don't like. Which should not be interpreted to mean that if you haven't had to do things you don't like that doesn't mean you aren't "real."

junecleaver -> RE: "The Submissive lie" (3/24/2008 6:24:29 PM)
If he told me to do his laundry, it would probably turn me on actually. Especially if he was creative. Having a general rule of 'you're the one who does the laundry.' would not be hot. I think there are some people who get turned on by being told to do things that they don't want to do.

charmdpetKeira -> RE: "The Submissive lie" (3/24/2008 6:56:59 PM)
I agree that much of the time; it is not the activity it’s self that does it for me, it’s all in the approach. k

justt13 -> RE: "The Submissive lie" (3/24/2008 8:17:13 PM)
I think that for a lot of subs and even Dom/mes not everything is a sexual dynamic. Not everything has to be sexual. There are many levels of pleasure in serving one's Master. If it makes Him happy or His life easier, it might not turn me on and make me wet, but it sure will make me smile inside knowing I did a good job to help make His life easier. Now there are times, when just a certain task and the way He might assign it and monitor me as I carry it out just might turn me on. For example, if I had to clean the toliet in an outfit that he had picked out and if He stood there watching me and directing me...and telling me what might happen to me if I preform the task well...Well, that's going to get me a bit excited. Under normal circumstances, I'd just do it to get it done...but with a promise of a fun reward or the threat of a possible "punishment," well that's just going to increase the excitement level.

fairerthanshe -> RE: "The Submissive lie" (3/24/2008 11:02:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl It's easy to be submissive when you're doing things you like, the real test is when you get to the things you don't like. Which should not be interpreted to mean that if you haven't had to do things you don't like that doesn't mean you aren't "real." Greetings all, Part of growing in slavery is pushing past those times when you don't want to do something and you go ahead and do it because you have been told to do so. Its all part of the process - and it certainly is different in every relationship. With SJ, I do not feel that I have been challenged to really do a ton of things that I am not happy to do for him in the first place (I love housework). And yet, our relationship continues to deepen, the level of trust is honed, the services I am allowed to give have increased, and each part is organic and unforced. well wishes ~ fairer

lubegirl -> RE: "The Submissive lie" (3/24/2008 11:13:03 PM)
Where is it written that everything we do for our Master has to make us wet? Personally i derive great satisfaction from having pleased him (or would if i had a Master) especially if it was something i didn't feel like doing. To me, we don't get to pick and choose when and what we'll do, either we're submitting or we aren't...and that includes the less-than-exciting stuff. Very well said! I work hard at doing what ever my MASTER orders me to do even if I do not like it, because his pleasure is the only thing that really matters in the end his pleasure clearly becomes mine. I love being a slave to my MASTER and will happoly do ANYTHING he orders me to do with a smile, it makes me wett with desire to PLEASE, SERVE and OBEY. So if doing his laundry is what he orders me to do I will do it as happily as when he takes me sexually..anything for MASTER. Head Down ASS UP, Lubegirl

atursvcMaam -> RE: "The Submissive lie" (3/25/2008 12:08:57 AM)
i don't think it is so much a lie as a misinterpretation of motivation. the task may be drudgery, but if the reason that one does it is to please one's Dominant then it develops more meaning.

DesFIP -> RE: "The Submissive lie" (3/25/2008 4:57:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Evility quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP However if you define submission as doing things you don't like, then we would all be in relationships with people we didn't like, doing things that make us unhappy. Luckily he didn't. It wasn't even close to what he said. Taking things oout of context again, I see.

mistoferin -> RE: "The Submissive lie" (3/25/2008 6:54:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP quote: ORIGINAL: Evility quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP However if you define submission as doing things you don't like, then we would all be in relationships with people we didn't like, doing things that make us unhappy. Luckily he didn't. It wasn't even close to what he said. Taking things oout of context again, I see. I have to admit DesFIP, I thought the exact same thing when I read your reply. I don't think that he was trying to define submission by that standard at all.

chiaThePet -> RE: "The Submissive lie" (3/25/2008 7:00:54 AM)
Ya'll are just the best lookin bunch I think I've ever seen. chia* (the pet)

Poetryinpain -> RE: "The Submissive lie" (3/25/2008 7:22:03 AM)
Well, for me, it's not just whatever makes a Dom happy or whatever pleases him - it's whatever makes his life more comfortable, more pleasant, more free from annoyance. There doesn't have to be an expression of appreciation (although those are nice to receive [grin]), but an absence of irritation is a form of appreciation.

OsideGirl -> RE: "The Submissive lie" (3/25/2008 7:51:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mistoferin quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP quote: ORIGINAL: Evility quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP However if you define submission as doing things you don't like, then we would all be in relationships with people we didn't like, doing things that make us unhappy. Luckily he didn't. It wasn't even close to what he said. Taking things oout of context again, I see. I have to admit DesFIP, I thought the exact same thing when I read your reply. I don't think that he was trying to define submission by that standard at all. I thought the same thing. He wasn't saying that the things you don't like are things to deliberately antagonize you.

Hisgirlonly -> RE: "The Submissive lie" (3/25/2008 7:54:28 PM)
yes i love to suck His cock, i hate swallowing and don't give me "His cum is the greatest gift" i like to put the clothes in the washer but i don't like to fold i like to rub His feet but i don't like having sex after He's been at the gym...does this make me any less of a submissive no. i can't concentrate on Him when it doesn't turn me on and sweaty men and folding clothes does not turn me on.

Marysboi -> RE: "The Submissive lie" (3/26/2008 8:34:07 AM)
After almost losing my girlfriend of 4 years by being disrespectful, never telling her I loved her, never giving her any of the kind caring things/thoughts you would expect from a lover and a friend. We have started a fresh relationship with the Dom, Sub..relationship as a pattern for my behavior. Its like a weight has been lifted from me. I now call her daily and tell her I love her. ( required but done willingly). I was feeling ill the other day. (maybe the second or third time in years I didn't feel up to par). As I headed to the couch. She told me to fix dinner.I was shocked at her request but I did so with the knowledge that this was a sign of my new obedience to her and a sign of my sincerity in making our new relationship successful. This is a simple example but one that is repeated often. I love serving her and making her happy. I feel liberated, rewarded and (out of fear of losing this happiness) work day to day with her on top of the priority list. It also helps that I know she loves me and would not ask me to do something that wasn't beneficial to me,her our our relationship. I do it for love and our future.

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