Take me to the river

Take me to the river (Full Version)

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Semos -> Take me to the river (3/24/2008 12:34:53 PM)
My profile is less than blank for a simple reason, I'm not sure I'm in the right place to archive my needs. I've had this compulsion to be for someone else entirely ever since I can remember. The contradiction is, I don't believe it has anything to do with groveling, being humiliated and so on. I think it has everything to do with elevating the person one is involved with and make them feel so exceptionally special they can hardly contain themselves. Love, Trust, Respect to name a few are all integral components. Ultimately, to raise a lady's spirit to a level that transcends reality, would be truly fulfilling. I know this sound pretty grandiose, hence the title to my post and my perception of "being a fish out of water", trying to find my way. It seems in the vanilla world, to many women are programmed to inevitably be submissive even though they act dominant. You know the old adage, I get what I want by making him think it was his idea. There are many other factors to the vanilla world that seem to have their foundations in ulterior motives, this may even apply to what is commonly referred to as the alternate lifestyle. I believe ladies on this site and other such as ALT and so on to be more receptive to the idea of being catered to, or at least comfortable they are the only focus of attention, not to be confused with material gratification or hopes of reciprocation, but rather instill a sense when she needs to fall back there is someone she can trust to always catch her. I'm sure there are those in the vanilla world too, but I haven't figured out how to place an ad in the local paper that would be succinct. Subservience seems to be painted with the kinky brush most times. I consider myself a very strong, powerful man. Like the worker bee though, that is assigned the task of fanning the hive, I understand my purpose completely and know where I fit in the hierarchical structure and strive to fulfill that purpose. In conclusion, what I seek is your opinion, in hopes that collectively I can glean some meaningful input that will further my cause. Thank-you very much

AAkasha -> RE: Take me to the river (3/24/2008 12:39:57 PM)
Have you ever been head over heels in love? In a relationship where that love was appreciated? If so, what was lacking in that perfect relationship that you think could be improved by a femdomtype relationship? Sometimes I think some people seek the ability to love and be fully devoted, and have that love appreciated and honored. Somehow BDSM seems hyper-romantic in this kiss, but in reality, a vanilla relationship can be just as intense -- if what you really seek is the ability to be unconditionally devoted. Akasha

Pyrrsefanie -> RE: Take me to the river (3/24/2008 12:41:25 PM)
Not all of us are interested in the "oh Mistress humiliate me more please" kind of servitude... the trick is to sort through the Dommes who do want that in order to get to those of us who relish in having a strong, devoted man to cater to our every whim, and enjoy returning that love and devotion to him. My boy and I occasionally indulge in humiliation play, but to be honest, what I love the most about him is his strength and masculinity. It makes it all the more thrilling to know that he's willing to set aside machismo stereotypes you'd expect him to fall into, and do something like paint my toenails, give me a massage, or just make me feel good without hesitation... and also that if and when I do need a big, strong man, I've got that at my disposal. One of my favorite things to say to him in dirty talk is commenting on his virility and strength. I call him my stud for a reason, hehe. ;) So in short, you may actually be in the right place with your mentality. It's just the trick of finding a compatible Mistress.

LadyHathor -> RE: Take me to the river (3/24/2008 12:52:20 PM)
*and My luck he is in another country!!![:o]* *ohh sorry.. couldnt restrain Myself there.*

LadyJeelys -> RE: Take me to the river (3/24/2008 3:02:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Semos My profile is less than blank for a simple reason, I'm not sure I'm in the right place to archive my needs. I've had this compulsion to be for someone else entirely ever since I can remember. The contradiction is, I don't believe it has anything to do with groveling, being humiliated and so on. I think it has everything to do with elevating the person one is involved with and make them feel so exceptionally special they can hardly contain themselves. Love, Trust, Respect to name a few are all integral components. Ultimately, to raise a lady's spirit to a level that transcends reality, would be truly fulfilling. I know this sound pretty grandiose, hence the title to my post and my perception of "being a fish out of water", trying to find my way. Ok, well, eeek. I take this a little differently, I guess. Its nice that you want to be all elevating and stuff, and as you can see some ladies like it. I, well, I don't. See, thing is, I don't need to be elevated--I am "elevated" by my own actions and no one else can "raise my spirit to a level that transcends reality". Though, frankly, I don't even think I WANT to have my spirit raised to a level that transcends reality (which may be a reflection of my faith as a Christian. After all, the whole point is that in reality we're elevated...but that's another topic.) See, in my view, underlying this would be that YOU elevate someone and that YOU do the raising. Call me a control freak, that's accurate, but I don't want to surrender control that way. I prefer to elevate myself and, for purposes of general discussion, raise my own spirit. I'm not prepared to cede control and direction of my own elevation and spirit to some guy---in fact, I wouldn't even do it for THE guy. BTW, I also don't "elevate" or "raise the spirit" of my slave. Rather, I happen to adore him as he is.

Semos -> RE: Take me to the river (3/24/2008 3:04:28 PM)
Your youth is definitely not representative of your wisdom. Thank-you for the input Pyrrsefanie

Semos -> RE: Take me to the river (3/24/2008 3:09:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHathor *ohh sorry.. couldnt restrain Myself there.* I'm glad you didn't

mnottertail -> RE: Take me to the river (3/24/2008 3:12:57 PM)
well, if you are archiving your needs you are going to have plenty chance to not have much use of them here, in this venue. Ron

Semos -> RE: Take me to the river (3/24/2008 3:20:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyJeelys Ok, well, eeek. I take this a little differently It is always nice to have positive reinforcement, but equally important to accept positive criticisms. One does not learn from being defensive and I appreciate your forthrightness.

atursvcMaam -> RE: Take me to the river (3/24/2008 9:26:39 PM)
In my humble opinion, you have as much chance of finding what you seek here as you do in the "vanilla" world. just make sure that the water you get put in is not in a pot over an open flame.

undergroundsea -> RE: Take me to the river (3/24/2008 9:50:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: atursvcMaam In my humble opinion, you have as much chance of finding what you seek here as you do in the "vanilla" world. If you are saying that such a dynamic can also be had in the vanilla world (versus that such a dynamic is unlikely in either world) then in the vanilla world there is a greater need, at least at first, to think about the balance between expressing devotion and presenting a social challenge in a romantic relationship. I think it would help if one can make the recipient of such attention understand that this devotion is a chosen relationship expression and not something done for thinking the devotion is necessary to keep her interest. Unchecked devotion can lead to one being taken for granted and whatever effect that might have on response towards the devotee. One way to avoid being taken for granted is to convey that in return one expects respect for his boundaries and relationship needs. Cheers, Sea

Semos -> RE: Take me to the river (3/24/2008 11:54:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: undergroundsea quote: ORIGINAL: atursvcMaam In my humble opinion, you have as much chance of finding what you seek here as you do in the "vanilla" world. (versus that such a dynamic is unlikely in either world) After having read some 90 profiles in the past six hours it would seem I'm fishing in sterile waters. Your points have lead to make me ponder while I sleep.

undergroundsea -> RE: Take me to the river (3/25/2008 7:06:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Semos After having read some 90 profiles in the past six hours it would seem I'm fishing in sterile waters. I am unsure which waters are more promising. Here, you are more likely to find someone who understands that the devotion is a chosen relationship expression, and who enjoys such devotion at a different level. In the vanilla world, there is a broader pool of potential partners and it might be easier to find one with whom to find the love that inspires such devotion. If your relationship expression relies on devotion only and not on other acts common within BDSM, I think your odds are greater than those for one who seeks both--I think an interest or a positive response to devotion is more widely distributed than the same for various SM activities. For that I think the vanilla pool is viable for you, as is a search in both pools simultaneously. If accepting acts of BDSM (pain, humiliation) falls outside your boundaries, you will run into some incompatibility in this pool. Another possibility is a relationship that allows the SM wants of the woman to be expressed outside the primary relationship. Cheers, Sea

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