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daddyncherry -> RE: Selfless or Selfish (3/24/2008 3:36:46 PM)
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When i began my relationship with my Daddy is was much more selfish than i realized....now i am still selfish, but in a much different way.....selfless-selfishness.
i used to look to get validation in my actions, a "pat on the head", a good girl or whatever.......i thought that it was just letting me see where i was going, if i was doing right etc.-He saw it as selfish behavior.............He's taught me to do things, and then let go of the outcome, do them, enjoy them, revel in them, but then let go of the outcome, and don't try to control his or any one elses experience of it.
The enjoyment, revelling and all of that, THOSE are the selfish parts, finding my joy in doing the things regardless of whether he ignores it, or compliments me hugely........All of the compliment stuff, validation stuff is kinda rare in our house....but i do totally find joy in what i do, and i have to go by his actions, the fact that i am here with him, to know that i've done a good job at stuff.
The other way i learned about selfishness was learing about what HE likes personally rather than doing what i personally feel is a great thing......this was touched on in the "pamering thread" the other day..........Doing things cause i like to do them, cause i've always gotten kudos from doing them and not really tuning into him and what makes him tick were ways that i stumbled on as a new slave. (i know, it should be obvious, but it wasn't to me at the time)
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