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RE: do i go no limits - 3/25/2008 6:39:44 AM

epiphany

Posts: 41
Joined: 12/31/2004
Status: offline

The "no limits" thing is usually a case of knowing your owner so well that you know he won't take you somewhere that will cause permenant harm.

In that respect, my relationship is a no limits one.The important thing here is "permenant harm", it's okay for me not to like it, want it, or to freak out a bit.

He will do things and take me places that are damn hard for me, and that leave me in tears, struggling emotionally, but he also knows me better than anyone and will be there to handle it all. I trust him to do that, know that he will. I always know it will be fine in the long hall.

This happened slowly over time...a lot of time. Years, not months, kind of time.

Don't let the goal be the collar, let the goal be a great relationship. Those take more time and effort, but are so worth it! If that is the goal of both people, each will be willing to take the time to build a strong foundation.

epiphany

(in reply to LadyHathor)

Post #: 21

RE: do i go no limits - 3/25/2008 6:52:47 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: happysub68
i am scared if i dont accept this i will lose Him

That is never a good reason to make any decision.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to happysub68)

Post #: 22

RE: do i go no limits - 3/25/2008 7:28:24 AM

CelticPrince

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline

quote:

want to be this Doms slave for Him to train. i have played with AHim before and i trust Him but i am scared as he wants no limits or say. i have told Him that i would do but i need to do slow in order to break them down i dont have that many limits just the normal(blood, knives, scat,kids and animals and breathplay).i am scared if i dont accept this i will lose Him and i have the chemistry with Him and feel that He is the on . can anyone please help me on this one
thankyou
happysub

happysub,

I doubt that he would exercize the no limit condition, he just wants the agreement to exercise the power. But be on the safe side, point blank ask him if his no limits would include scat or kids. If the answer is yes, I trust you would know what to do.

CP

(in reply to happysub68)

Post #: 23

RE: do i go no limits - 3/25/2008 8:11:34 AM

akisha

Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: happysub68

i want to be this Doms slave for Him to train. i have played with AHim before and i trust Him but i am scared as he wants no limits or say. i have told Him that i would do but i need to do slow in order to break them down i dont have that many limits just the normal(blood, knives, scat,kids and animals and breathplay).i am scared if i dont accept this i will lose Him and i have the chemistry with Him and feel that He is the on . can anyone please help me on this one
thankyou
happysub

Bold and colour change mine

You say those are your only limits what about disfigurement? Dismemberment? body modification? having your head shaved? having your labia permentantly sewn shut? being trained to rosebud? double vaginal and double anal fisting simotaneously? having you face tattooed? having your clit surgically removed? having your feet boke and bound like in ancient china so the women were basically hobbled? having your tongue split? letting him drink your blood? having to drink his blood? being a human toilet? etc etc etc

Does he mean no limit or no limits but his?

I have alot of limits and I have a lot of "I'm not really sure about this but with time and trust we can discuss it" items.

I'm sorry but he is not "The One" if you and he do not reasonably match in expectations. You can have chemistry with hundreds of people, doesn't mean you are actually compatible at all.

Think about what you really want and need with in a relationship. If he meets the majority of the requirements then hey go for it. if there are some serious "Hell No" items on the list then move on and find someone more compatible.

Being single is not a fate worse then death, just means you have the self respect to wait till you find someone that actually matches you and you match him.

_____________________________

I'm confused.... No wait!!! Maybe I'm not

It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to happysub68)

Post #: 24

RE: do i go no limits - 3/25/2008 8:23:47 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

you say that you are scared of someone that you trust, want to be with, have chemistry with, don't want to lose and feel are "the One". this slave assumes that someone you don't trust, don't want to be with, don't have chemistry with, don't care about losing and don't feel is "the One" might strike you that way as well.

just curious, but what good does all the trust/feelings/chemistry/"One"-ness/desire/intimacy do for you, if you are still scared? scared is a crappy place to operate from...at least for this slave, but then, this slave isn't into horror flicks or roller coasters, either

often it most helpful to know the limits of the Dominant, before surrendering to His/Her "no limits" control...are you aware of His?

(in reply to happysub68)

Post #: 25

RE: do i go no limits - 3/25/2008 9:40:45 AM

tsatske

Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline

i do not have limits of my own. Of course everyone has limits, and that has become such a mantra on boards like this that 'no limits' slaves have begun finding other language for the dynamic that we practice. 'near no limits slaves', 'no limits other than those held by Master', or, my personal favorite (although i have used all the previous terms) 'deep internal big red NO button'. everyone has things they will not do, or can not do. They are different for everyone. They also move and change as the relationship progresses. i may be a 'no limits slave', (pick your alternate phrase from the list above), but when i am meeting with someone, getting to know them, progressing, negotiating, with them, i have a list of limits as long as your arm. Long enough to chase lots of Doms away. And that's a GOOD thing. They were not the right one. i know, because now i am owned, by the right one.

SirMIkeSD, i do not consider death or permanent injury to be limits of mine, at this point in my relationship. He owns me, i am His to do with, as he will. i am diabetic, and i certainly do not consider skin breaks to be a limit - do that all the time. constantly begging for things like knife play, for toys and play that draw what i refer to as 'small blood'. we are careful not to cause skin breaks, even 'small blood', when we do bastinado. A couple of limits i do have are, that i am honest with my docs. (Very honest. The first time i was hospitalized after becoming His, Master was by my side the whole time, and he spent the whole time laughing and shaking his head in amazement at what i will tell my docs.) And, i am more comfortable with the idea of someone killing me, than with the idea of them fucking up my life. ( not looking for snuff play, just putting them in order) amazing the number of casual Doms who just want to play who suggest the truly stupidest things. If you don't even own my ass, NO, i am not going to do something that is going to get my ass arrested and in my hometown newspaper for my adult children and parents' reading pleasure! 'no marks outside of work uniform lines' is a very soft limit for me. (and my work uniform includes a one piece bathing suit in the summer, because i work with kids, and we go swimming once a week.) Another limit of mine is 'No long lasting marks that are going to be around longer than the Dom suggesting them.' Which means i am fine with Master leaving any marks He wants, as long as He is sure and comfortable that He intends to keep the slut.
Big red internal no button issues for me including anything that i do not believe would be in the best interests of my now adult children, harming any children, and drinking alcohol. These are things i just could not bring myself to do.
i do not have a problem with the phrase 'no limits slave'. It is like debating the word 'slave'. Does it mean exactly the same thing it meant to a southern plantation owner? a Roman citizen? ect, ect. 'no limits slave' has a meaning. if you are even considering making that a part of your relationship agreement, figure out what it means to you - find out what it means to him - make sure you are on the same page. And, yes, consider all the possibilities, even the unimaginable. This is not for the SSC crowd - more RACK, IE, that kind of thing. Only you can decide if you are ready to go there - or if you will ever want to go there. Walk the path your soul leads you down, not the one someone is pointing to.

_____________________________

“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good”
~Dr. Seuss quote

(in reply to LadyHathor)

Post #: 26

RE: do i go no limits - 3/25/2008 9:49:44 AM

petitespitfire64

Posts: 182
Joined: 10/4/2007
Status: offline

Man oh man..if blood, knives and breathplay are "normal" limits...

Nice to meet you...just call me "Abby"

_____________________________

**Daneene**
"The right thing to do isn't always the popular thing to do"

(in reply to LadyHathor)

Post #: 27

RE: do i go no limits - 3/25/2008 10:01:27 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

That is never a good reason to make any decision.

I agree. Why not turn the tables on him. Let him try to sell himself, see if his presentation is worthwhile.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 28

RE: do i go no limits - 3/25/2008 11:13:55 AM

giveeverything

Posts: 348
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: akisha

being trained to rosebud? ?

[/quote

Hanging my head in shame. What is rosebud?

< Message edited by giveeverything -- 3/25/2008 11:14:20 AM >

(in reply to akisha)

Post #: 29

RE: do i go no limits - 3/25/2008 12:09:07 PM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

Remember that you asked for this....LOL!

A rosebud is a prolapsed rectum. It is done intentionally. There is a really great picture of one on consumptionjunction.com.....but you have to join the site now to see it.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to giveeverything)

Post #: 30

RE: do i go no limits - 3/25/2008 12:23:05 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

My feelings are that if he were the right one, then he wouldn't be trying to blackmail you into doing stuff you aren't ready for.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirMIkeSD

You don't consider death or permerant injury as parts of your normal limits?

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

If you aren't sure, why the need to make the choice? I assume you both want to make sure this is the right thing, so what's wrong with waiting 6 months, or a year?

quote:

ORIGINAL: MRandme

Everyone has limits.

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

That is never a good reason to make any decision.

Lots of wisdom there.

Bottom line is that there is no such things as "no limits". Everyone has a line that they will draw somewhere. There is such a thing as giving up your own limits and accepting the limits of your Dominant. Thios requires trust. So, the question is....do you trust a man that would emotionally blackmail you with your life?

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Celeste43)

Post #: 31

RE: do i go no limits - 3/25/2008 1:48:33 PM

akisha

Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline

Thanks for answering for me erin *S*

_____________________________

I'm confused.... No wait!!! Maybe I'm not

It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 32

RE: do i go no limits - 3/25/2008 1:55:15 PM

Madame4a

Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline

I don't know how you can have chemistry with him or think he's the one if you're here asking this question -- chemistry and the one would make me think you'd plunge on without hesitation...

but you're right to have hesitation...

your limits are few.. what you do say you have.. those normal ones, as you called them (an aside: I am abnormal, I love blood) are few... when people tell me that, or that they have no limits then I'll say...

ok,

I will shave your head and tie you up naked outside your office, either on the banister if you like or a tree, you decide -- or the receptionist's desk

I'll grind up glass and put it in your eye, ok?

I'll cut off your testicles (or nipples, I'll let you decide if you have both) and make you eat them ok?

No, I won't do those things to anyone, 'cept maybe the tie up one.. or head shaving.. as I'm likely to hurt, but not harm someone.. but not everyone is like that...

we all have limits, but it takes a lot of time and experience to find them at least in my mind

Don't move forward with this person under the circumstances you have described, its clearly causing you to hesitate and I believe that's your logical inner voice telling you something

good luck

< Message edited by Madame4a -- 3/25/2008 1:57:04 PM >

(in reply to happysub68)

Post #: 33

RE: do i go no limits - 3/25/2008 6:16:10 PM

giveeverything

Posts: 348
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Remember that you asked for this....LOL!

A rosebud is a prolapsed rectum. It is done intentionally. There is a really great picture of one on consumptionjunction.com.....but you have to join the site now to see it.

Yes.. saw pictures and my spincter (sp?) closed up tight. Oh... I'll just stick with sodomy if nobody minds.

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 34

RE: do i go no limits - 3/26/2008 7:38:20 AM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

He wants you to have no limits and will not accept the ones you said? You are afraid you will lose him if you don't accept his terms? Well my take on this is if you are not on the same page about limits and such i don't think he is the "one". Before you accept his collar make sure he understands that for right now you hard limits are just that hard. if he refuses to accept you will have to think about walking away and finding a Dom who will be on the same page with you. Best wishes.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to giveeverything)

Post #: 35

RE: do i go no limits - 3/27/2008 7:57:37 AM

atendersoul

Posts: 167
Joined: 10/20/2006
Status: offline

if you are going into this situation with an understanding of what limits are with this Master you are interested, there only should be a change in this with understanding of both of you and trust. as the relationship grows, maybe the limits do also.....
best of luck to you....

(in reply to LadyHathor)

Post #: 36

RE: do i go no limits - 3/27/2008 4:07:16 PM

pinkwind

Posts: 367
Joined: 1/9/2005
Status: offline

There is no such thing as a no limits slave, or for that matter a no limits Master, it's a mythical space where you agree to something that cannot exist to prove to another that you are completely theirs.

WE have personal morality, laws of the land we inhabit, mores of our peers, all conspire to give us limits, no matter how hard we believe we can give them up for another human being.

What you can be is all theirs, living their limits with them, those limits having taken on board some of your own by osmosis, so that the dynamic you live by is an amalgam of the morals, legality and mores of two people agreeing to a certain way of life in a relationship.

No limits...?

(in reply to LadyHathor)

Post #: 37

RE: do i go no limits - 3/27/2008 7:54:33 PM

Mastersplitlicke

Posts: 19
Joined: 2/7/2008
Status: offline

Everyone has limits, and anyone can say no at any time. Are you really willing to let him do anything he wants to you? "anything" I would not trust anyone that would demand that.. RUN the other way

(in reply to LadyHathor)

Post #: 38

RE: do i go no limits - 3/27/2008 7:56:16 PM

Mastersplitlicke

Posts: 19
Joined: 2/7/2008
Status: offline

whats wrong with you people ?

(in reply to Mastersplitlicke)

Post #: 39

RE: do i go no limits - 3/27/2008 8:04:37 PM

DeferentialBaby

Posts: 14
Joined: 10/28/2007
Status: offline

Talk to him about your fears. Full disclosure, leave nothing out.
Listen carefully with the part of you that's analytical and perceptive to what he says in response.
And then, if he's your master, do what he tells you to do.

(in reply to happysub68)

Post #: 40

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