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Need Profile Help - 9/30/2005 4:45:14 PM   
onlinesub1


Posts: 39
Joined: 5/31/2005
Status: offline 		Hello everyone, I just updated my profile. Can someone check it out and tell me what it is missing? Like what I could add to make people interested in me. I am not that good of a writer and would like to improve my profile. All help is appreciated, I am asking on this board because my profile is aimed on finding a Mistress or Domme. Thanks in advance for all your help
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Need Profile Help - 9/30/2005 5:00:58 PM   
MadameDahlia


Posts: 2021
Joined: 8/11/2004
From: SoCal aka Hell
Status: offline 		Just my point of view...

Get rid of this:

(Time to edit my profile again: A long time ago I searched for a Domme or Mistress here. I did find one but she was a fake. I am tired of her lies and am now going to try and find a new one.)

Start clean. Most people want to know all about you when they contact you. They don't want to hear about a would-be Mistress. It's kind of like bringing up the ex-girlfriend in a vanilla relationship. It shows others that she's still under your skin - and that they are not your priority.

(I am a 19 year old male sub from New York looking for a Domme or Mistress to collar me online. I have yahoo and aim if your interested in talking with me. I am into CBT, Spanking, Orgasm Denial, some Role Play, really strict rules, Food and Clothing chosen for me, and other basic things that deals with control. I will try anything not listed in the next paragraph and like trying new things.)

You might want to start with something that doesn't automatically list your kinks. What makes you interesting? What would make a Domme want to approach you? Do you play guitar? Do you enjoy poetry or art? Are you a wonderful chef?

I will not do anything in public since I want to keep my life vanilla. I will not deal with wax, blood, electricity, scat, any type of piercings, or anything that leaves a permanent mark on my body (ex: tattoos).

Listing limits is a good way to weed out those who would not mesh well with you, provided that they take the time to read your profile. Someone may see one of their favorite fetishes on your "No Way" list and refrain from pestering you. But you will still get the people who don't bother to read... Who don't care enough to read. Rather than get angry or upset (and I'm not saying that you do or that you will) simply delete them. You know what you want - and it isn't what they have to offer.

I do not want a switch to be my Domme, I had too many bad experiences with switches. If you have any questions or comments please message me, I will be happy to answer all messages and hopefully find a Domme or Mistress to collar me.

Again, it's like yanking that ex-girlfriend into the picture. Just state that you have no interest in switching. Pure and simple. End of story. Don't get caught up on previous relationships that have gone sour. Go forward. Move forward. Don't project the image of being stuck on someone else. It makes you less approachable.

P.S.- I do not have a picture but am 100% submissive thats another reason why I don't need a switch

Huh? What does not having a photograph have anything to do with being submissive? This just doesn't make any sense to me.

I hope that I've helped.

< Message edited by MadameDahlia -- 9/30/2005 5:02:16 PM >

_____________________________

Insanity -- a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
--R. D. Laing

"Oh, but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away."

(in reply to onlinesub1)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Need Profile Help - 9/30/2005 6:04:40 PM   
onlinesub1


Posts: 39
Joined: 5/31/2005
Status: offline 		wow thats alot of changes! thanks for the info, i'll make the changes now and see what people think of it. Still open to more ideas, thanks again

(in reply to MadameDahlia)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Need Profile Help - 9/30/2005 7:04:16 PM   
onlinesub1


Posts: 39
Joined: 5/31/2005
Status: offline 		I think I wrote it good now, please check out the revision and comment on it

(in reply to onlinesub1)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Need Profile Help - 9/30/2005 7:17:19 PM   
MistressKay


Posts: 51
Joined: 9/6/2004
Status: offline 		My notes in addition to the ones you already received (which were all excellent suggestions by the way) is as follows

Asking a domme to collar you online is like asking a woman to contact you because you want to get married. It's pre-mature and makes you sound rather desperate. You could say, "you are open to being collared should the relationship develop to that level"... don't sound needy or desperate - sound confident, playful, and mature.

Your comment about "keeping your life vanilla" is in direct conflict with your desire to explore submission online. You are not looking for vanilla online thus your comment "I want to keep my life vanilla" implies shame or embarassement that your submission is somehow a bad thing. Perhaps a better way of putting it is just to say that you want to keep your submission private as it is a very personal thing you want to share only with that one special cyber Domme. Not only do you express your requirement for discretion and privacy, but you also imply that the Domme you finally do serve will be the "one and only" and thus special and unique among Dommes.

As a cyber sub (which is what I gather from your profile that you are) you may find your choices limiting as many Dommes on collarme are looking for reality - not just watching a webcam and typing. This is not an insult so don't take it as one just a comment given in the hopes of helping you understand how some may see you. You speak of your previous Domme being "fake" - just remember that many lifestyler Dommes who do not participate in cyber consider cyber subs "fake". I know for myself I am not interested in anything I cannot personally touch - it's that physical connection that allows my dominance to flourish - without that touch it feels "fake" to me. I am not saying you are fake, I am sure your desire is sincere. I just wanted you to be aware of how some may see you.

One last thing - you have a block button - you don't have to respond or receive emails from anyone who you feel is a poor fit for what you are looking for. Since this is fantasy only for you (no live meetings) remember it's all about having fun. But just as you don't want someone to lead you on - you should show the same curtesy in return. They need to know up front that this is cyber only and will never lead to reality.

I wish you all the best in your exploration online,

Lady Kay
Ottawa, ON Canada

(in reply to onlinesub1)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Need Profile Help - 9/30/2005 8:18:14 PM   
onlinesub1


Posts: 39
Joined: 5/31/2005
Status: offline 		Your comments are all true and I respect them. Like I said before I am really bad at writing so I cannot express myself correctly. I am actually not desperate (not saying anything directly to you), it took me like 2 years to find my first true Domme that was not a "fake" and really meant what they said. I am not embarrassed about being a submissive but I would start being open once I experience my first real time Domme. I know being an online sub is very limiting but I have learned a lot from online experience on some of the real life aspects of the lifestyle. Attitude is problaby the biggest thing I learned to deal with. I remeber back a year ago I used to have a negative attitude about everything, now I just let things go and nothing bothers me to the point of insanity

(in reply to MistressKay)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Need Profile Help - 9/30/2005 8:26:51 PM   
onlinesub1


Posts: 39
Joined: 5/31/2005
Status: offline 		I just added in the new ideas, it looks a lot better now. Thanks for all the help, improvements are always welcomed

(in reply to onlinesub1)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Need Profile Help - 9/30/2005 11:07:38 PM   
MistressKay


Posts: 51
Joined: 9/6/2004
Status: offline 		yikes! - I was shocked to see you put my words in your profile verbatem. You need to put what I wrote in your own words - not mine. They need to come from you in the way you actually talk. Our communication styles are very different and it shows in your profile. Try to show a bit of who you are and put it in your own words with your own feelings behind it.

wishing you all the best,

Lady Kay
Ottawa, ON Canada

(in reply to onlinesub1)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Need Profile Help - 10/1/2005 10:00:45 AM   
onlinesub1


Posts: 39
Joined: 5/31/2005
Status: offline 		I'll try to rewrite the whole profile over once all ideas are put in, I just did that so the idea would not have been lost and I need some time to think on how I am going to write it out. Me and writing out ideas doesn't match to well

(in reply to MistressKay)
Profile   Post #: 9
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