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Master/Mistress by proxy - 3/25/2008 3:10:57 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
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I have no experience in this area nor do I anticipate ever getting any experience in this area but I am curious as to what the pros and cons would be (and will include what I've come up with on my own) both for those who would be a Master (apply a gender as you see fit) by proxy and those who would choose to have their slaves be Mastered by proxy.

The reasons for such proxy may be important as they might speak to the length of time such proxy would be in place, but an opened ended time frame discussion would be of equal interest to my curiosity. Injury or illness, military service, pregnancy, being sent away (either slave or Master) because of a job etc. might all be reasons for envoking a proxy. I'm sure there are other reasons as well.

Besides the pros and cons, anyone who cares to discuss 'why' they would be willing to proxy for someone else would be appreciated.

I would also appreciate those slaves who would not consent to a proxy (or who would) to explain their own reasons as to why they made such a decision and also if you are of the belief that you would still be serving your own Master with a proxy in place or would the proxy Master supercede the wishes/desires of your own Master?

Some of the pros and cons which I've come up on my own:

Pros:

The benefit to a slave of getting service/power feedings when they might not otherwise take place.

The benefit to a Master knowing their slave has another set of ears and eyes keeping them within the agreed boundaries of their servitude.

The benefit to the proxy Master of experiencing the slavery (or submission) of someone.

The benefit to the proxy Master of having a trained slave at their command albeit within pre-approved guidelines.

Cons:

Proxy Master having to give up the slave when the time frame is over or at the request of the slaves Master.

The possibility the slave will not want to return to their original Master.

Confusion to the slave.

Jealousy on the part of one or both Masters in dealing with the slave.

The aftermath of both the transition to the proxy and reversing the transition.

Mastering within the boundaries of someone else.

Any other thoughts, comments, ideas would be welcome - and just to add a disclaimer here, neither myself nor Himself is looking to find a proxy or be a proxy to anyone else.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

Post #: 1

RE: Master/Mistress by proxy - 3/25/2008 3:25:06 PM

chamberqueen

Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline

I know of a one Master with a problem with erectile disfunction who has a second Master come in to teach the sub who to give head. The first Master enjoys the cuckoldry (both when he is present and when he is not), the sub has a fuller experience, and the second Master receives pleasure from her. She gets more experiences and for a time everyone seemed to benefit.

However, jealousy is an ugly beast and it came about in a strange way. I am slave to the second Master, and the first one approached me and was basically trying to steal me away - I assume as some sort of retaliation. I got stuck in an ugly tug of war and am currently under a four week long punishment for telling my Master that He was supposed to protect me from wolves and not lead them to my door. : (

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Post #: 2

RE: Master/Mistress by proxy - 3/25/2008 3:33:56 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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Hello Celeste,

It's a thought provoking question. Specifically because some of the examples that you list for such an arragement to be made, makes Me think I might be in favor of a proxy agreement. The most glaring of which being the military separation situation, which is bound to happen between My boy and Myself. I doubt I would consider an open ended proxy. I think the lines would be more clearly defined than that to make the arragement a successful one.

Oddly enough, I could see Myself being a proxy Mistress for someone eaiser than establishing one for My submissive. I think that is due in part to how I operate as a Dominant in the first place. I happen to be married, with a submissive of My own, so I don't think I'm much of a threat in the poaching aspects. In My particular location, it is an area where several military schools function, so there are often times that people are stationed here for limited amounts of time. I'm also active in My local community, so there is a benefit to a sub to get to know others by My introduction. I'm already involved in mentoring and casual play, so taking someone on for a limited time would be something like an extention of those things that I already do.

As for a proxy for My sub, I think I'd be tougher on that. I'm very protective of him, so I think it would have to be someone that I could verify has similar qualities, experiences, and knowledge to Myself. You know what they say about how hard it is to find a Domme.

Anyway, I look forward to hearing other responses. Again, interesting question.

_____________________________

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 3

RE: Master/Mistress by proxy - 3/25/2008 4:31:27 PM

Evility

Posts: 915
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble
The benefit to the proxy Master of having a trained slave at their command albeit within pre-approved guidelines.

It's an interesting idea but this is where I would probably get tripped up. It would be difficult for me to assume the proxy role under someone else's guidelines. It not an unreasonable expectation - just something I'd likely have trouble with after having done things my way for so long.

I was in a poly relationship with two very different submissives (one of whom remains my sole submissive today). Changing gears was difficult and at the time that appeared to be the problem but in hindsight it was simply due to the fact that I had free reign in one relationship and boundaries I had to comply with in the other. The second relationship became unworkable for that reason among others.

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 4

RE: Master/Mistress by proxy - 3/25/2008 5:57:08 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

No interest here. What if while I was loaned out the new dom decided he didn't have to obey the rules. Mine wouldn't be there to enforce it and protect me.

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Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to Evility)

Post #: 5

RE: Master/Mistress by proxy - 3/25/2008 7:20:10 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

Proxies are interesting things. Firstly please allow me to recount a short story of what happened to me when I became by proxy thre owner of my first slave. She was in trouble and shall we say I kept her ass out of a sling be just beeing a pypical grizzly (short temper good right hook) and to ensure her safety out of the night club/bar we were in I informed those who wanted her she was my property. later she reverted to her Asian culturte and stated that as I had claimed her after combat she belonged to me (Swords Rights) ... Blew me away but she was a delightfull lass during the short time we had.

I could use a proxy and do at times but I chose who it is and the rules are placed on the table with the consequences to the proxy if he tried to breach them.. I am another male who sufgfers from Erectile Dysfunction due to T2 Diabetes and to date, I have found nothing to assist in allowing an errection for any period of time to give repeated pleasure to who ever I am with and myself. hense three and foursomes are the order of the day.

Iron Bear
Master of Bruin Cottage
(A Victorian Lifestyle poly home)

"I judge a Man by what I see him do and not by what others tell me he does." (Captain Sir Edward Pellew of the HMS Indefatigable to Midshipman Hornblower ~ C.S. Forrester)

< Message edited by IronBear -- 3/25/2008 7:22:30 PM >

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 6

RE: Master/Mistress by proxy - 3/25/2008 7:54:03 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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For me it would be because my partner thrives better when he has someone to strive for, when he has a woman to offer approval and love. While he's a very tough cookie and would do just fine on his own (hey he found and got me!), I think it would be easier and nicer for him to be betrothed.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 7

RE: Master/Mistress by proxy - 3/25/2008 8:01:27 PM

chamberqueen

Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline

I was a Mistress by proxy for a short time. The other Mistress was going into the hospital and had to be laid up for a few weeks. She had a new sub in training, and gave me Her guidelines on how to treat him. I did it as a short term favor for Her.

The first session I got a lot of, "but my Mistress doesn't do it that way". By the third session he was enjoying my techniques better than Hers, even though I was sticking to Her guidelines. It can be confusing for the sub but hopefully it trained him better and was an overall good experience. For me as the Mistress it was fulfilling only from the standpoint that I was doing a friend a favor.

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Post #: 8

RE: Master/Mistress by proxy - 3/25/2008 9:46:31 PM

daddyncherry

Posts: 656
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline

This is sort of something i thought about, and began a story about called "Slave Sitter"....

The idea came for me, as a type of "need" fullfillment...as was mentioned, like while my Daddy is away on business, as he does montly, there would be someone to keep me centered...someone to serve, but as ameans to an end that would benefit us a great deal..

Then i expanded the idea to a Mistress going away on vacation with a hot lover and leaving her boy slave with a Mistress to entertain while his reg Mistress is away...

Then aslo to a LDR couple, and the Master having someone local go in and play and look over his slave

People get kid sitters and pet sitters so why not?

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Hugs,
cherry

Walking through life, and fear with a smile on my face.
Walking directly through the eye of the hurricane...and through to the other side..without fear....realizing everything will be okay. :)

being obedient 1day at a time

(in reply to chamberqueen)

Post #: 9

RE: Master/Mistress by proxy - 3/25/2008 11:34:00 PM

Maya2001

Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline

I would not want for myself,

the situations that I learned of were Doms that entrusted their masocist sub to another Dom so as to maintain beatings while they were away and to keep an eye on them and was to be non sexual in both situation the sub and dom by proxy did end up having sex.... so did not go as planned

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Lead me not into temptation - I can find the way myself

(in reply to daddyncherry)

Post #: 10

RE: Master/Mistress by proxy - 3/26/2008 6:24:47 AM

Masterssj

Posts: 20
Joined: 12/27/2007
Status: offline

I could never handle a proxy Master , my Master knows how i feel about serving anyone other than him and to me he has chosen me to be his , whether i am in front of him daily or not for months , it doesnt change my desire of submission to him ... it just means more creative ways of showing my submission during long absences and enjoying the sweetness of when we are physically together .
I feel very lucky he would not place me with a proxy ...

(in reply to Maya2001)

Post #: 11

RE: Master/Mistress by proxy - 3/26/2008 7:28:13 AM

ProfJoe

Posts: 75
Joined: 6/7/2007
Status: offline

All of those "cons" you list would keep me from embracing the idea, but (at the same time) I would gladly use the services of another to mentor in any area I had insufficient experience (and there are many!) or if I seemed unable to communicate my ideas effectively even tho she was making a serious effort -- no sense in putting it on her, especially if someone else can get through. I see it as an extension of the idea of attending con workshops, etc., on a personal level.

Just a thought: she's so good in some areas I've thought of "loaning" her to train other submissives. But that's not the same thing.

(Prof.) Joe

(in reply to Masterssj)

Post #: 12

RE: Master/Mistress by proxy - 3/26/2008 10:09:38 AM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

Thanks to everyone who responded to my questions. I'm not quite sure how I'd feel about a proxy and was surprised when Himself told me that he actually would utilize a proxy if he saw a specific need for it. I'm not as surprised that he would act as a proxy, but he, like many other dominants, does have issues with some of the 'cons' which I had listed. Also, as I said, those are just the ones which I thought of off the top of my head. I'm sure there are many more pros and cons as well and the weight any one thing would have would probably be determined by the dominant (perhaps exclusively) or by any partnership depending on their dynamic.

Thanks again for the thoughts (and a side note to IronBear - so nice to see you back and posting! You've been missed and I'm not just saying that. Do a search and you'll see your name has been mentioned more than once during your absence.)

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to ProfJoe)

Post #: 13

RE: Master/Mistress by proxy - 3/26/2008 11:02:54 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

Celeste my longtime friend, it is good to see you here still and yes it was just time to return. I have missed the company of some very good people most of whom are still here. So many new factes though I guess it's like starting over where few peopke remember or know you. So refreshing.

Iron Bear
Master of Bruin Cottage
(A Victorian Lifestyle poly home)

"I judge a Man by what I see him do and not by what others tell me he does." (Captain Sir Edward Pellew of the HMS Indefatigable to Midshipman Hornblower ~ C.S. Forrester)

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 14

RE: Master/Mistress by proxy - 3/26/2008 4:18:08 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddyncherry
People get kid sitters and pet sitters so why not?

Well it's a completely legitimate idea and certainly could be a lot of fun. But wouldn't work for me because in my eyes the sub is supposed to take care of things and make my life easier- not to need MORE care and looking after.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to daddyncherry)

Post #: 15

RE: Master/Mistress by proxy - 3/26/2008 4:21:36 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

I cant imagine asking someone else to work with my boys. I have spent so much time making sure they know how to do things just the way I like them, I think that would be partly undone by allowing them to serve someone else even if it was for a short time.
I have had more than one request to "watch" someone elses subs for them, either becasue they were traveling to my area and needed attending, or becasue they just wanted a more well rounded sub. I dont want to spend that sort of time teaching someone something when I am not going to reap the benefits. Call me selfish, but I dont like to train and release.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 16

RE: Master/Mistress by proxy - 3/26/2008 6:36:18 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddyncherry
People get kid sitters and pet sitters so why not?

Well it's a completely legitimate idea and certainly could be a lot of fun. But wouldn't work for me because in my eyes the sub is supposed to take care of things and make my life easier- not to need MORE care and looking after.

I agree with this, but depending on the circumstances. If the Master will be gone for a long period of time, say off to war...if he/she has life issues that prevent him/her from adequately overseeing the sub/slave. It's a place to put the slave to ensure the slave still has boundaries to live within - can still serve - and has a temporary "home" so the Master doesn't have to...well...master her (him).

It's an interesting concept, and one I think has the possibilities of many problems, as has been pointed out. I know my Owner would rather have me sit in waiting than to submit to another. And having been put in a position to do that, it's not an easy place to be. The shelter of someone else in authority has some appeal to it (depending on who's in authority, of course), but as Celeste mentioned, definitely has its cons, as well.

From my own personal perspective, if he gave me to someone by proxy, I would do it, knowing what I know about myself. Would I ask for it on my own? Probably not, knowing how he feels about such things.

_____________________________

Good is the enemy of great.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 17

RE: Master/Mistress by proxy - 3/27/2008 3:42:22 PM

Noah

Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

Some of the pros and cons which I've come up on my own:

( ... )

Cons:

Proxy Master having to give up the slave when the time frame is over or at the request of the slaves Master.

Having to give up the slave?
It could, of course, be negative. But no reason to think that this would be a negative.

It could be a huge relief. It could yield a nice, post-prandial-ish glow.

The number of people I would want never to let go of (or who would never want me to) is presumably infinitessimal. The number of people who might interact with me usefully and enjoyably (their enjoyment or their owner's) is still pretty small but likely larger than the first number.

quote:

The possibility the slave will not want to return to their original Master.

The sooner this possibility is discovered, the better. No negative here.

quote:

Confusion to the slave.

Confusion could be negative, or of neutral value, or of positive value in various ways, not least of which is that confusion is itself the object of a psychological kink.

quote:

Jealousy on the part of one or both Masters in dealing with the slave.

Emotions arise. Mature people handle them and grow through the experience.

quote:

The aftermath of both the transition to the proxy and reversing the transition.

Why the presumption that the aftermath(s) would be negative? Maybe I didn't take your point at all. Can you put it another way?

quote:

Mastering within the boundaries of someone else.

Unless this presupposes one party unwillingly exceeding boundaries, in what way would this be negative?

Thanks

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 18

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