Married DOM"S

Married DOM"S (Full Version)

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lmystery -> Married DOM"S (3/25/2008 6:13:29 PM)
i was wondering what other Dom's view's are on a un owned sub talking with a married Dom. it really isn't what i seek but he is the type of Dom that i am searching for just that i know i may end up His but He will never be mine. Please i could use some advice. Thank You lmystery

Masterjrl -> RE: Married DOM"S (3/25/2008 6:22:32 PM)
It is obvious from your post that you seek something more then he is able to offer. Do him and yourself a favor and keep looking.

Cougarandkitten -> RE: Married DOM"S (3/25/2008 6:32:35 PM)
IMO it all depends on the situation.... does the other half of the marriage know and approve, not know at all, or even know he is a Dom? If it is in your heart to serve and its approved by all parties, I see no problems as long as you realize going in that he is in fact married. Cougar

SirMIkeSD -> RE: Married DOM"S (3/25/2008 6:37:34 PM)
If you are "on the side" move on. If his partner knows about you or knows you and is fine with it go for it. Mike

defiantbadgirl -> RE: Married DOM"S (3/25/2008 6:39:15 PM)
Here are two main things you should consider. 1. Your own feelings. Are you willing to share him with his wife? 2. His wife's feelings. Does his wife know about you and is she ok with it? Some men will lie, so the best way to find out is to insist on meeting with both him and his wife. Remember, when one or both people are married, the spouses must consent as well.

BlindDescent -> RE: Married DOM"S (3/25/2008 6:40:49 PM)
Conversation is simply that...conversation. What one does with it, and where it takes the conversants is another matter entirely. Be mindful of your intent would be my advice. Otherwise; sometimes you make the mess...sometime you are the one who gets to clean one up. conversationally, Thomas

IronBear -> RE: Married DOM"S (3/25/2008 6:43:02 PM)
IF: The Married Dom's partner is aware and aproves of his kinl and that he wa nts a sub/slave.... The married Dom is martried to another Dom and they have their shit wired high and tight.... If you are not looking for a husband or life partner.... Then I see nothing wrong. If however any one of the top three applies in the negative then foirget it. Save the hurt for all consurned and keep searching for what you seek. Where there is one there are others. Iron Bear Master of Bruin Cottage (A Victorian Lifestyle poly home) "I judge a Man by what I see him do and not by what others tell me he does." (Captain Sir Edward Pellew of the HMS Indefatigable to Midshipman Hornblower ~ C.S. Forrester)

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Married DOM"S (3/25/2008 7:50:17 PM)
I think you're talking about more than just talking. Don't do it. If you must do it, take responsibility and don't come whining when you don't get what you want when you decide you want more.

chamberqueen -> RE: Married DOM"S (3/25/2008 7:57:06 PM)
If you'll accept a slave's point of view, my Daddy is not married but has told me that he does not think that love needs to go hand in hand with a BDSM relationship. He likes to compartmentalize His emotions. He will never want 24/7, we will never "date", He is not looking for romance. I knew all of this going in, along with knowing that He has other subs. I made the conscious decision that this is all right with me. IF you can do that you may still feel true fulfillment and contentment. If you don't believe that you are strong enough in spirit to be just a part time partner then it is better not to let things get to the point where your heart could be broken - even if He does seem perfect to you now.

lmystery -> RE: Married DOM"S (3/25/2008 8:38:55 PM)
i thank all of You for Your great advice i think i already new what the responce would be i just needed to know for sure. i am seeking more frm this lifestyle other than what He can offer me. As far as the wife she does not know. i don't know why i would of even considered it talking to any married man vanilla or not just isn't my thing but He know what to say to me to make desire more frm Him. i know what i need to do or should i say i know what i shouldn't do. Well my search goes on for what i seek. Thank You all for Your help.

kinkypuppy2 -> RE: Married DOM"S (3/25/2008 9:11:23 PM)
I have no problem with it as long as the submissive meets BOTH the Married Dom and their spouse at least a few times.

LadyPact -> RE: Married DOM"S (3/25/2008 9:32:43 PM)
Speaking as a married Domme, I hope I can lend some insight. First of all, you need to assess what is right for you. Nobody else can determine that. Are you in a situation that won't satisfy you? Will you feel neglected? How does your Dom perceive these things? Only you can answer these questions to fit your situation. I wish you the best of luck in exploring.

Leatherist -> RE: Married DOM"S (3/25/2008 9:33:40 PM)
Not having clear title sort of screws up the ownership thing.

domahpet -> RE: Married DOM"S (3/25/2008 9:43:13 PM)
[sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif]

SteelofUtah -> RE: Married DOM"S (3/25/2008 10:54:27 PM)
Perved your profile Op. What you asked us goes against EVERY Statement you made on your Bio. Not all Married Dom's are the same. So judgeing the married part is slightly off. For Instance I am Married but I am also looking for a girl to join our home as a partner in it. Poly isn't for everyone I know, but One guy is married to a woman who can't, or won't, give him what he wants so behind her back he goes and gets it anyway. If he isn't willing to leave her for what he wants I always ask honestly how important the other girl can possible be to him. I'm not INTENTIONALLY Knocking the Married Dom, however it is hard not to. I mean if you have to lie to your wife about it, or Lie by deception of the marriage how honest and sincear can you really be to the girl you are supposed to be taking COMPLETE control over? How responsible can you be to the girl if you have a larger responsibility to the wife? To the Op I simply ask this. Can you ever be happy not having a stake to claim in the relationship? Because I would not be able to live with a relationship that I knew that when the tables got turned I would be the first to go. Why try something you clearly state you don't want in your hello to the community? How important are you limits if you aren't even wiling to respect them. The last part of your Profile asks Me (The reader) to respect your wishes and then in this thread you ask if it would be okay for you to do it? I question the intent? Do you want happiness or just someone who says all the right things? Steel

DesFIP -> RE: Married DOM"S (3/26/2008 4:48:47 AM)
If you need a monogamous relationship or to be the primary, then why even get into a relationship that you know will not be satisfying? Keep looking. If you don't need those things, then go for it if there's sufficient compatibility. Or just be casual play partners without the d/s component.

lmystery -> RE: Married DOM"S (3/26/2008 5:18:01 AM)
thank You Steelofutah i know this goes against everything i believe and seek in my life. i have never been with this Dom it has only been talking on the comp. that is why i posted in here He wants to meet and i wanted to know for sure that this wasn't part of the bdsm world i haven't been in this lifestyle that long to really know whats right and whats wrong. As far as my profile i still stand by everything that i wrote in there. It's just nice to have someone help me understand the dating scene this is all new to me i have only been divorced for 1 yr. so i am still learning. but thank You for Your input it is greatly appreciated.

sirguym -> RE: Married DOM"S (3/26/2008 5:29:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: IronBear IF: The Married Dom's partner is aware and aproves of his kinl and that he wa nts a sub/slave.... The married Dom is martried to another Dom and they have their shit wired high and tight.... If you are not looking for a husband or life partner.... Then I see nothing wrong. If however any one of the top three applies in the negative then foirget it. Save the hurt for all consurned and keep searching for what you seek. Where there is one there are others. I am married, we are a Dom/Domme couple. We both have subs and slaves. It works for us and for them; but they knew what they were getting themselves into. I am aware that some of my subs and slaves seek something more. I do not try to stop them looking for it. If it is offered to them, and I check out the person making an offer, I encourage them to go grab it. I am always prepared to relinquish any claim in such circumstances; as I have done a couple of times. I have been told that they would not have been ready for 'their One' without what they learned in their time with me. Maybe it was true. But I look upon it generally as losing a slave and gaining two good friends. But I guess I am not typical, from what I hear.

lmystery -> RE: Married DOM"S (3/26/2008 5:36:29 AM)
i want to thank you all again but the desision was made for me today i told Him i had asked for advise here. He didn't care for that so with that said. Thank all of You for Your time and help. lmystery in search of what she really seeks

persephonee -> RE: Married DOM"S (3/26/2008 5:48:09 AM)
im sorry to respond as i am obviously not Domme, but i have an experience with a married Dom who approached me and wanted to collar me. i explained to him when he stated that he wanted to work toward owning me...that because he was committed to his wife and their life together...as evidenced by his not leaving....that he was in no position to own, he could only rent. And i need more than that out of a relationship. Think about it for a second. ill bet you a dollar that he said his wife doesnt understand the lifestyle and that its not fair to try to force someone to be sub when they are not sub. A friend of mine said that if you told a vanilla woman that you wanted to spend the next 2 hours concentrating fully on just her and her body and her responses; and wanted to actively find a way to crawl inside her head and body....to own her even for that time....that you could turn just about anyone.... So how Dom is he that he cant find a way to lead in his own home...whether she is sub or not...there is usually a leader in the home...and if his nature was dominant...it would be his goal to make sure that he was dominant at home. If he cant dominate the person he vowed to be with forever....how much can he dominate you? And would that be enough...considering the divided attention. Just some thoughts... persephone(e)

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