Why do I even 'care" about "him" !

Why do I even 'care" about "him" ! (Full Version)

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pahunkboy -> Why do I even 'care" about "him" ! (3/25/2008 7:05:23 PM)
Last week he stripped naked. Insisted on a BJ, I all but thru him out. He should have just said thank you, and left. I was shot down. After i blew him, I admitted I like to have my neck nibbled. He told me- he did not like taking shower with me. That it wasn't like with his wife. Yet- as typical him,he doesn't leave until he gets a BJ. I honestly did not think on it much after that day last week. Afterward- he said he felt like he cheating on his wife. And he felt ike he used me. I said- you known me 10 years and you are STILL working thru this issue? You have everything going for you, and you are not satisfied. A wife, kids, home, and career. I never asked you for a relationship. I'm sure he pondered on the hour drive home. I did not co-erce the shower. I said I need to go to a meeting at 6:30, and must get a shower. So- that's when it was 'we" in the shower. Then of the town meeting- they did not address anywhere near the 92 public questions. Afterward was meet and greet. I wanted to to chat with the cop. Well- be polite I thought. We didn't the drama queen of the century hogs the time. I worked with this ditz for 7 years. I had years of sexual innuendo and come ons by her. She was on a circular rant how if she wasn't "white"she would not have gotten that ticket. I wanted to bop her. So after 15 minutes I excused me to butt in. Well that did not work- so I left. The whole world is fkked and here I am. Walking back- I thought- not everyone is as smart as Termin8tor. So- this question I pose. Do I want anything? Lets discuss. PS- my hair turned out cherry red- egads.

Termyn8or -> RE: Why do I even 'care" about "him" ! (3/25/2008 7:32:39 PM)
Actually I am not all that smart, just observant and can retain facts. I can't really comment on your dude. The only thing I see is a paralell in a straight situation, it sounds like you are being used like a mistress. However your rent is not paid and you don't get a mink coat or jewelry. As for the town meeting, 92 issues seem to be a bit much. How many did you bring up ? I would stick to your most major issues. How long was the meeting ? At an hour and a half that's one issue per minute. Three hours would almost give you two minutes per. And that's for the levy breaking as well as a barking dog. Not literally but you know what I mean. T

Muttling -> RE: Why do I even 'care" about "him" ! (3/25/2008 7:59:32 PM)
Too much drama for me. My attitude would be "come back when you have made up your mind that you're comfortable with it......If you decide that you're not comfortable with it then I wish you well." In short, he's got it too good and too easy. He's like a child who doesn't know what to think or do when he actually gets what he wants. Draw the line with the drama.

pahunkboy -> RE: Why do I even 'care" about "him" ! (3/26/2008 2:41:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Termyn8or Actually I am not all that smart, just observant and can retain facts. I can't really comment on your dude. The only thing I see is a paralell in a straight situation, it sounds like you are being used like a mistress. However your rent is not paid and you don't get a mink coat or jewelry. As for the town meeting, 92 issues seem to be a bit much. How many did you bring up ? I would stick to your most major issues. How long was the meeting ? At an hour and a half that's one issue per minute. Three hours would almost give you two minutes per. And that's for the levy breaking as well as a barking dog. Not literally but you know what I mean. T LOL-- I am glad you asked. I submitted 5 items. We wrote them on index cards. Gosh- the article is short on meat. It doesnt mention where we are going. We are set to become a geneological research destination, as it is the mother county. records back to the civil war- are in a basement. But not for long. A large portion of the state was once1 county...this one. The riverfront is a gem. as the confluence is here. It was a good meeting. Tho- folks to fixated on making a holein the flood wall for the amptheater. Oh-Cellticasked in one post, what are "you" doing as in me. 1 of my 5 was to offer free compter tutoring. I guess that wasnt appropriate. Alot of intellectectual masterbation. http://www.dailyitem.com/homepage/local_story_086003041.html

pahunkboy -> RE: Why do I even 'care" about "him" ! (3/26/2008 3:02:58 AM)
I guess the rub is in that I am "repulsive". He insisted on porn. So I showed him straight porn, and he didnt want to see that- he wanted to see gay or male pics.. He has become high maintenence. So- and I doubt I will see him for 6 weeks. I too am a very lucky man. At one time a mink would have been great- but frankly, i have everything i need. i am in decent shape body wise, both visits he told me a few times to be naked. the issue is- humility/pride/ sense of contentment per me. it isnt that i blew him. but verbalizing teh neck nibbling... waslike showing him a card in a poker game. the repulsive comment....is like saying, i am irrelevent. yet- out of say 100 contacts between us, I have intiated maybe 4. i dont call him,or go to his house. i have, but only a few times. he is happily married. oh- he asked like 3 times- why i dont move anyone in. he earns good money- tho his wife earns more- and in fact- made their house possible. so- if he had any idea of moving in, that ship sailed 9 1/2 years ago. he hang out here 2 hours before we did the shower..etc. oh- no one wants to blow a guy who needs a shower. or a double shower. so- i find it insulting that in no way- am i even close to sex with his wife, who he loves. that is apples and oranges. if she is so good- let "her" blow him. self esteem wise- i have ...camedown a few nothes. but darn it this is my home, and i was just fine- with my internet, garden, and solitude. he once again said he isnt gay or bi. why would a straight guy want to see another man naked? they dont. one way or the other- im taking my pride back. this is my house...my life, and i choose to be more then a fricken cum rag. at 44, i am past that. since he mental issues- they can only spill over on me... and that needs to stop and now. as it could get very ugly- and i want my serenity.

pahunkboy -> RE: Why do I even 'care" about "him" ! (3/26/2008 3:55:18 AM)
I think I have to physically kick his azz. Why? in his methodical way- he indirectly called me a 'faggot". what a piece of work. 2x yesderaday he asked to suck me. i said no. anyhow- i wont cantact him. --well maybe not. being i have bad disks- in my back... and he is in shape, [he does constructrion]..i guess i have to bark and posture like a grunt. listen mathafkker pussy, you dont fkken diss me any longer. im doing you a favor by pounding on you. thank me bitch! i cant hear you! thank me! hows that?

cjan -> RE: Why do I even 'care" about "him" ! (3/26/2008 7:34:32 AM)
quote: he once again said he isnt gay or bi. why would a straight guy want to see another man naked? they dont. Hunky, this guy is so full of shit, I'm surprised you don't have to gargle after you blow him. Believe me, straight men don't play "drop the soap" or "tickle my tonsils" even under extreme circumstances, like serving long prison sentences, ummm, mostly. An exception, I think, is in cases where someone may wish to "experiment". But 10 years ??? Please. You may want to take Dan Savages advice in such cases. He writes a syndicated sex advice column ( "Savage Love". Google, he's funny). Dan would say, I'm sure , "DTMFA". Dump the motherfucker already.

sub4hire -> RE: Why do I even 'care" about "him" ! (3/26/2008 7:35:31 AM)
Because he is there and no one else is? Because you have somewhat been together for ten years now and it is hard to cut the ties? Even if it isn't a good relationship it is a relationship. Roger, start valuing yourself. When you do, people will notice. You will eventually find someone to spend the rest of your life with.

philosophy -> RE: Why do I even 'care" about "him" ! (3/26/2008 9:31:59 AM)
FR ..you deserve better......

LilMissHaven -> RE: Why do I even 'care" about "him" ! (3/26/2008 9:43:29 AM)
I have a friend very much in a similiar situation and the final result is devastating, it has taken him literally months of therapy to be able to look himself in the mirror without having the urge to break it. Wipe your hands of this man before he destroys every little bit of you because from what I can see you have a lot to offer and it shouldn't be wasted on an ungrateful "brat". Warmest regards, Haven Now a total thread hijack but do you have any experiance with water lillies? Mine die as fast as I can purchase them.

subtee -> RE: Why do I even 'care" about "him" ! (3/26/2008 9:45:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pahunkboy I think I have to physically kick his azz. Why? in his methodical way- he indirectly called me a 'faggot". what a piece of work. 2x yesderaday he asked to suck me. i said no. anyhow- i wont cantact him. --well maybe not. being i have bad disks- in my back... and he is in shape, [he does constructrion]..i guess i have to bark and posture like a grunt. listen mathafkker pussy, you dont fkken diss me any longer. im doing you a favor by pounding on you. thank me bitch! i cant hear you! thank me! hows that? Bad idea, Sweet. You don't need trouble stemming from this, but closure. You are such a good, gracious human being. Don't let him bring you low. Feel strength in rejecting him, if you can. Look forward with spring and new changes! Forgive him and forget him. ~hugs~

KatyLied -> RE: Why do I even 'care" about "him" ! (3/26/2008 12:42:40 PM)
quote: he is happily married. No he's not. He's pretending. It sort of sounds to me that he has a slight case of self-loathing and that spills over on to how he treats you, like he's projecting his dislike on to you. He is what I would call toxic.

windchymes -> RE: Why do I even 'care" about "him" ! (3/26/2008 1:26:13 PM)
Stay away from married guys! I"ve said this in here so many times....they want to have it all, the house, cars, kids, picket fence AND the fun on the side that they can't get with wifey! Why should you be the one to provide the fun and then get left nursing your bruised ego while he goes home to his idyllic little miserable life? 99% of the time, married guys don't leave their wives. They don't have the balls to make it on their own, especially ones who depend on wifey's paycheck. Dump him, honey! Seriously! You deserve better! P.S. Ditto to what Katy said. He's a closet homosexual who hates himself for it and is scared to death what his family and friends would say if they knew.

PanthersMom -> RE: Why do I even 'care" about "him" ! (3/26/2008 1:45:40 PM)
why punish yourself by associating with someone who treats you so badly? take back your power, do not allow him to have any power over you anymore, it's obviously not good for you. cut him off, send him home to the wifey that he's so happily married to and find someone who treats you as you deserve, not like a doormat. whether you think of it that way or not, this is an abusive relationship. you're not being physically abused so much as mentally and emotionally. take a page from nancy reagan and just say no! (see, she was good for something!) change phone numbers, change email addys, change the locks and turn the page. open a new chapter in your life, this one's over. good luck! PM

pahunkboy -> RE: Why do I even 'care" about "him" ! (3/26/2008 3:12:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cjan quote: he once again said he isnt gay or bi. why would a straight guy want to see another man naked? they dont. Hunky, this guy is so full of shit, I'm surprised you don't have to gargle after you blow him. Believe me, straight men don't play "drop the soap" or "tickle my tonsils" even under extreme circumstances, like serving long prison sentences, ummm, mostly. An exception, I think, is in cases where someone may wish to "experiment". But 10 years ??? Please. You may want to take Dan Savages advice in such cases. He writes a syndicated sex advice column ( "Savage Love". Google, he's funny). Dan would say, I'm sure , "DTMFA". Dump the motherfucker already. LOL gargle- yes! most definately. --10 years. he is now high maintenence. I am not interested in his internal strife. I asked about going camping. Nope. No can do.

pahunkboy -> RE: Why do I even 'care" about "him" ! (3/26/2008 3:15:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sub4hire Because he is there and no one else is? Because you have somewhat been together for ten years now and it is hard to cut the ties? Even if it isn't a good relationship it is a relationship. Roger, start valuing yourself. When you do, people will notice. You will eventually find someone to spend the rest of your life with. A good point. Thats why I am upset- since I shorted the value of self. I know how this goes. The man shoots- and leaves. That is how it is supposed to work. All would have been fine had he- shot and left. I think I should be paid. I had early on thought- cool- I dont have to wash his laundry. At the moment tho...I "am" his laundry.

pahunkboy -> RE: Why do I even 'care" about "him" ! (3/26/2008 3:16:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LilMissHaven I have a friend very much in a similiar situation and the final result is devastating, it has taken him literally months of therapy to be able to look himself in the mirror without having the urge to break it. Wipe your hands of this man before he destroys every little bit of you because from what I can see you have a lot to offer and it shouldn't be wasted on an ungrateful "brat". Warmest regards, Haven Now a total thread hijack but do you have any experiance with water lillies? Mine die as fast as I can purchase them. Thats the thing- I dont want an explosive situation. I see no point in wrecking any lifes- No experience on water lillies, Im sorry.

pahunkboy -> RE: Why do I even 'care" about "him" ! (3/26/2008 3:18:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied quote: he is happily married. No he's not. He's pretending. It sort of sounds to me that he has a slight case of self-loathing and that spills over on to how he treats you, like he's projecting his dislike on to you. He is what I would call toxic. I hadnt thought of that.

pahunkboy -> RE: Why do I even 'care" about "him" ! (3/26/2008 3:20:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: windchymes Stay away from married guys! I"ve said this in here so many times....they want to have it all, the house, cars, kids, picket fence AND the fun on the side that they can't get with wifey! Why should you be the one to provide the fun and then get left nursing your bruised ego while he goes home to his idyllic little miserable life? 99% of the time, married guys don't leave their wives. They don't have the balls to make it on their own, especially ones who depend on wifey's paycheck. Dump him, honey! Seriously! You deserve better! P.S. Ditto to what Katy said. He's a closet homosexual who hates himself for it and is scared to death what his family and friends would say if they knew. Do you really think he is gay? He said if anything happened to his wife he would find another WOMAN. I sure would not be as generous as she has been.

pahunkboy -> RE: Why do I even 'care" about "him" ! (3/26/2008 3:24:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PanthersMom why punish yourself by associating with someone who treats you so badly? take back your power, do not allow him to have any power over you anymore, it's obviously not good for you. cut him off, send him home to the wifey that he's so happily married to and find someone who treats you as you deserve, not like a doormat. whether you think of it that way or not, this is an abusive relationship. you're not being physically abused so much as mentally and emotionally. take a page from nancy reagan and just say no! (see, she was good for something!) change phone numbers, change email addys, change the locks and turn the page. open a new chapter in your life, this one's over. good luck! PM \\ abusive? thats a strong term. but yes- a drain on me for sure. it will be maybe 10 weeks before to drops in. he doesnt have my phone or email. or a key. ...hmmm 3 words. "we are done" WE ARE DONE!

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