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Experienced insight needed - 3/25/2008 7:20:09 PM   
KEYKEY


Posts: 1
Joined: 2/8/2008
Status: offline 		I am new to the lifestyle and just wanted to ask some experienced Domme's to share some of there insight. We all were at one point and time and possibly felt like I am... there is so much.... lol thanks to all that reply... Mistress in Training

< Message edited by KEYKEY -- 3/25/2008 7:21:22 PM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Experienced insight needed - 3/25/2008 7:32:27 PM   
CoasttoCoast


Posts: 71
Joined: 5/22/2007
Status: offline 		perhaps it'd help if you were more specific about what you needed?

(in reply to KEYKEY)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Experienced insight needed - 3/25/2008 7:39:42 PM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		Insight on... what?

(in reply to KEYKEY)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Experienced insight needed - 3/25/2008 7:47:36 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Why don't you just start reading?

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to Madame4a)
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RE: Experienced insight needed - 3/25/2008 7:58:28 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Along with the others, I'm at a loss because there was no specific question involved.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Experienced insight needed - 3/25/2008 7:58:33 PM   
darchChylde


Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline 		White after Labor Day is a major faux-pas



_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Experienced insight needed - 3/25/2008 7:59:30 PM   
MistresssAria


Posts: 165
Joined: 6/17/2007
Status: offline 		If random submissives attempt to piss you off on here - just delete their messages & block them..........some do that on purpose to get a pissed off response from you that they get get off on.

And don't attempt to learn to use a single tail until you've mastered other whips, I see too many people get cracked in the neck!

And don't whip someone in the lower back (can cause kidney damage), direct hard hits to the spinal cord (major damage!), neck...........and no hard smacking of people in the face unless VERY carefully calculated!!!  Hit too hard near the side/ear and it's *possible* to paralyze parts of their face.

Those are some tips that I think are good for beginners.............and yes, READ, and find BDSM groups to join in your area ;)


_____________________________

"It never got weird enough for me." -Hunter S. Thompson

~*~*~Mistress Aria~*~*~

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
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RE: Experienced insight needed - 3/25/2008 7:59:48 PM   
Boondoggle


Posts: 123
Joined: 5/16/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: darchChylde

White after Labor Day is a major faux-pas



Fox paw?! Barbaric!

As for advice: To quote the Wet Spots, "Don't stick a fish in your bum, chum."

< Message edited by Boondoggle -- 3/25/2008 8:02:04 PM >

_____________________________

You see I'm not the kind of fella'
who can get off on vanilla.
No I need a little color in my sex.
--The Wet Spots

(in reply to darchChylde)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Experienced insight needed - 3/25/2008 8:44:21 PM   
TNstepsout


Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline 		Don't wear leather in the sauna.

(in reply to Boondoggle)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Experienced insight needed - 3/25/2008 9:27:40 PM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline 		I think:

Consistency in behavior and about expected behavior helps build trust and confidence in the D/s dynamic, and to have rules and protocols taken seriously.

While unconventional, a D/s relationship is a social relationship and its fundamental workings (what makes or breaks it) are similar to those for other social relationships.

Latex pants are not good for one who spends half his life on his knees.

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to TNstepsout)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Experienced insight needed - 3/26/2008 3:54:08 PM   
bittermoonlight


Posts: 48
Joined: 2/28/2007
Status: offline 		I'll admit, I've been wondering if I should start a topic like this myself, so I'll take advantage of this one. I have some experience, but none of it "formal". I'm picky and antisocial so I think the experience thing may be slow going for me. Still, I've done a lot of reading, and have my share of opinions.

So I guess my question would be to the more experienced Dommes here: What advice do you wish someone had given you when you were, for all intents and purposes, pretty new to it all?

(in reply to undergroundsea)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Experienced insight needed - 3/26/2008 4:02:30 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		I had some great advice given to me.
"Dont assume that becasue you have decided you are Dominant that everyone you know who is submissive will at any point want to be YOUR submissive. No one wants to talk to a bitch or a jerk who think that becasue they stuck a Master, Mistress or other title of choice in front of their intro they are owed something."

Also never assume someone wants your advice. It isnt always welcome.

DV


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to bittermoonlight)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Experienced insight needed - 3/27/2008 1:25:50 AM   
Goddess2002


Posts: 226
Joined: 2/29/2008
Status: offline 		Rembember that as a Domme you're always right, even when you're not.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Experienced insight needed - 3/27/2008 2:27:46 AM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KEYKEY

I am new to the lifestyle and just wanted to ask some experienced Domme's to share some of there insight. We all were at one point and time and possibly felt like I am... there is so much.... lol thanks to all that reply... Mistress in Training

Um, kay....so what is your question?

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to KEYKEY)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Experienced insight needed - 3/27/2008 4:21:28 AM   
LaMistressa


Posts: 460
Joined: 12/4/2006
Status: offline 		Stay in school.

Look both ways before you cross the street.

Think twice about wearing latex in August.

(in reply to KEYKEY)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Experienced insight needed - 3/27/2008 4:55:54 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		The quickest way to learn to be a Domme is to marry a poor submissive guy.

(in reply to LaMistressa)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Experienced insight needed - 3/27/2008 9:30:41 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		I guess the best advice I can give is this, remember to protect him even from yourself. If your just learning to use the tools of the trade as they say, learn to use them safely! Just because it looks easy in a book doesn't mean that it is, you have to take procautions. Also realize that bruises and welts will go away, any mental trauma you inflict may NEVER go away. These are serious games we play here and they are not to be taken lightly.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Experienced insight needed - 3/27/2008 10:58:38 AM   
LadyHathor


Posts: 775
Joined: 1/2/2008
Status: offline 		Do not confuse dominantion with domineering--and as DV so aptly stated, just because you espouse to be a dominant does not obligate any or every submissive to honor you.

_____________________________

Lady Hathor, I am the Mistress Hathor of Orleans, I am what I am, often to the dismay and discomfort of others.

(in reply to KEYKEY)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Experienced insight needed - 3/27/2008 11:28:45 AM   
bittermoonlight


Posts: 48
Joined: 2/28/2007
Status: offline 		All good advice. Especially about the latex in august 

I've never been the sort to assume anything of anyone - but I do see it a lot, from both sides... people who approach all of the intarwebs as if they own everyone and people who act like I already own them (ew, please no.) Toys and tools I've had a bit of experience with, as well as the kind of damage that isn't visible or physically tangible. That's a good thing to add though, because if nothing else, I am aware of how deep these "games" can go.

Really I'd rather have a good conversation with a sub (or anyone else for that matter) than demanding immediately that they get on their knees and call me the empress of the universe or whatever. I can maybe understand how people who meet physically can have that kind of chemistry right off the bat, but still, if you don't know the person at all, why assume a power dynamic that may or may not be there...?

Sorry, just thinking aloud!

(in reply to LadyHathor)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Experienced insight needed - 3/27/2008 1:29:15 PM   
Pyrrsefanie


Posts: 1222
Joined: 9/18/2007
From: NEW HAMPSHAAAAAAH!
Status: offline 		Just because you are a dominant does not mean that you are the dominant of everyone around you.  You cannot step in and start bossing around someone else's submissive or someone who has not given their submission to you.  You also cannot bully other dominants into submitting to you.

If you act like a jackass, do not expect other dominants to run to your side and support you because we're supposed to "stick together" or some other such nonsense.

All of these from my own personal experiences with other not-so-kosher dominants, by the way.  It's like high school -- it's easy to fall in with the wrong crowd and start following a bad lead if you're the new kid.

Other than that... good luck?  I swear I don't bite that hard. 

(in reply to bittermoonlight)
Profile   Post #: 20
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