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RumpusParable -> RE: My thoughts on Kink vs D/s (5/20/2008 11:15:42 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Capitolisttool
D/s is a lifestyle choice, where two or more (in my case two) people enter into an understanding that one (or more) will live in service, submit, and find pleasure in that submission to the other, this going down the line in a poly house to the extend that there is an Alpha Slave and so forth.
It's also nothing so special, not at all a lifestyle choice. It's just how some folks naturally interact, just like how some folks naturally interact as equals.
I just have friends, family and lovers. That's it, that's all. That some are my equals with no compromising on either side, some involve compromising on both sides, and some involve some level or other of deference to me from the most minor and passing to extreme and life-dictating is just everyday normal life like everyone else makes their everyday normal life that suits them.
quote:
Kink on the other hand is just that, be it bondage or water sports, top or bottom, role play or age play, it is something that occurs in the bedroom (or for those who like risk - on the beach ~grin~) and does not consume more time than the foreplay, the act, and the consummation of such act. Do not get me wrong, I love the kink side, but it should not be confused with the D/s lifestyle.
The things that fall under the term "kink" are not solely something that happens in the bedroom or similar, are not centered around sex inherently. For many that is their entire interest in the almost unending list of activities and interactions that fall under "kink", but again that's not inherent to them.
My BDSM-umbrella activities happen as part of everyday life and developed *before* and *separate* from my sexuality and are still just everyday life things. Sometimes they are included in my sex, sometimes not. They are not about sex or focused on it and aren't sexually exciting in themselves at all.
Tying up a friend for fun is just FUN. It is something that at age 5, 15, or 31 has happened for that sake alone, as part of hanging out and enjoying life. Rough-housing/beating up each other, playing fort or drawing in coloring books, cutting for design or to have the blood flow, using one for a buffet display, tickling them until they pee, biting their shoulders to make them squeal, these are all just the norm of being with friends. No sex or sexual charge, no power exchange, no special time and place... just regular old bumming around.
Now, I -and pretty much everyone else here as it's been gone over countless times- agree with the obvious that power exchange and kink are separate things that can overlap.
But, just as they are each unusual things for some, they're very everyday things for others. It's no one way as it was expressing in your original post.
For clarity, I realize due to the limits of type it may seem I'm stating these things harshly. That's not the case, the mental/verbal tone that all the above was "said" in isn't at all negative, but rather enthusiastic. My everyday life is just my everyday life, and I like it bunches or it would be very different ;)
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