RE: Merits of a Training Program (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion



Message


TreasureKY -> RE: Merits of a Training Program (3/26/2008 5:09:25 PM)

Like several others have said, I believe the concept of "training" is fairly subjective.  I don't advocate one true way, nor do I suggest that our way is better than any others.  That being said...

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann

For those who incorporate training, why is it important for you?  For those of you who disagree with the concept of training, I'd be interested in hearing your views as well.


To be honest, I've never even considered whether my and Firm's relationship consists of any training.  Certainly it doesn't in any formal manner... he has never expressed any desire to change anything about me nor has he dictated any specific expectations beyond those he employed when deciding to enter into a relationship with me.  In the two years we have been together, I cannot think of any particular instance where he has overtly sought to control any aspect of me or my life through a training program... though he may use methods to direct me that are subtle enough to go unnoticed.

That certainly doesn't mean that he has no authority over me or that he has no expectations.  Quite the contrary.  It's just that, I believe, his preference was to find someone who already possessed what he was looking for, who had the perceptiveness and presence of mind to adjust to his needs without direction, and who naturally deferred to his wishes.  He found those in me and, I believe he just hasn't seen the need to pro-actively take any measures to "train" or correct me.

That's also not to say that there hasn't been a learning curve in our relationship... after all, it takes time and communication to discover preferences.  There's also the mentoring aspect of "training" that is a natural part of our relationship.  He shares his knowledge and insight with me and encourages me to grow.  Of course, I hope my presence in his life offers him the same.   [;)]

But for a deliberate plan, I'm not aware that Firm has one.  He may have ideas for the future that include more formal arrangements and I would not be opposed... as long as it doesn't display a fundamental dissatisfaction with me and our relationship.  I can't see him suddenly finding me undesirable, but I recognize that there may be areas where he would like to see specific growth or enhancement.  Ultimately, I trust in him and his leadership.

Edited for clarity.




TracyTaken -> RE: Merits of a Training Program (3/26/2008 5:12:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

It only works if you know the capabilities of the subject.

You cannot knock a square peg into a round hole-no matter how fancy the mallet you are using.


If you had a big enough mallet and a hard enough swing, you could probably knock it through.  It wouldn't be a square peg anymore though, and the hole probably wouldn't be round either. [:o]




Leatherist -> RE: Merits of a Training Program (3/26/2008 5:23:42 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TracyTaken

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

It only works if you know the capabilities of the subject.

You cannot knock a square peg into a round hole-no matter how fancy the mallet you are using.


If you had a big enough mallet and a hard enough swing, you could probably knock it through.  It wouldn't be a square peg anymore though, and the hole probably wouldn't be round either. [:o]



And there would be drama.

Which is why pat solutions and programs are so totally ridiculous in this sort of thing.

There is no substitute for basic intelligent progress, coupled with effective communication.

I'm always amazed at the idiocy of people who think they can script relationships-like they are writing a play.




ExSteelAgain -> RE: Merits of a Training Program (3/26/2008 5:33:44 PM)

I pretty much have the style TreasureKY wrote about with her Master Firm. But there is something sexy, erotic, M/s about having a slave practice something under my direction. Sure I understand that turns many submissives on and I incorporate it somewhat. Something like making her learn positions, say promises and have a few rituals that I expect her to follow. Not many, but a few.That's about all the training I do. One ritual I've written about before is making her always drink holding the glass with her left hand. Even if I'm not around.




LadyPact -> RE: Merits of a Training Program (3/26/2008 7:28:29 PM)

(Using fast reply)

My question in response to your question would be, if there was no training, how would we possibly be able to expect service to a particular standard?  How would we expect to have protocols in place?  How would the expectations of rituals be carried out?

Perhaps I'm not understanding the original question thoroughly.




TreasureKY -> RE: Merits of a Training Program (3/26/2008 7:35:28 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

My question in response to your question would be, if there was no training, how would we possibly be able to expect service to a particular standard?


By selecting a submissive partner whose standards already meet or exceed your own.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

How would we expect to have protocols in place? 


If not developed organically, then by simply telling your submissive what protocols you expect.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

How would the expectations of rituals be carried out?


Hopefully in a manner consistent with how you communicated them.

Of course, simply communicating your expectations could be considered "training".  [;)]




LadyHibiscus -> RE: Merits of a Training Program (3/26/2008 7:43:08 PM)

I am not fond of rules and rituals.  The more rules exist, the more rules I have to enforce, and I am a busy person.  That's why I learned that I am not happy keeping slaves---submissives only, from now on.

If you enjoy making rules, and enforcing them, and having them done in a certain way, then a person who requires a lot of structure is perfect for you.   My issue with that kind of thing is the very obvious disparity between master and slave---what happens when the slave outgrows the master?  Because if you have chosen a person who NEEDS a great deal of training, they are going to get to  a point where they have learned all they can from you.  This is true of anything, from tennis to cooking to computer programming.  





OnlyMels -> RE: Merits of a Training Program (3/26/2008 7:54:57 PM)

Well since me and my Daddy share a brain 90% of the time I already know what he wants or needs and can usually finish his sentances I don't need any real training but I have a mouth and can have an attitude problem sometimes that needs to be worked on. but it can only take place when the kiddies are safely away cause they are at the age that they copy everything we do. I don't need my boys spanking each other.




Page: <<   < prev  1 [2]

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.03125