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Merits of a Training Program - 3/26/2008 9:44:24 AM

Stephann

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Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
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Hi folks.

I enjoy the Master/slave dynamic. It's my bread and butter. I like having rules for my slave in my home. I understand owning a slave isn't for everyone. She's expected to make me coffee, serve drinks and food in a high protocol, is not permitted to use my name except in very specific situations, and has surrendered many of her 'rights' as a woman to me. She wears my collar, and we have no training contract. She has no safeword in our play. She is a slave, she obeys, and it has been a joy watching her grow in that collar.

Training is a term we use to state the benchmarks for her growth and progress as both a slave, and a woman. She thrives under rules and expectations, and excelled in her educational life and now her professional life because of these expectations. I wouldn't have her any other way.

For those who incorporate training, why is it important for you? For those of you who disagree with the concept of training, I'd be interested in hearing your views as well.

Stephan

_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

Post #: 1

RE: Merits of a Training Program - 3/26/2008 10:00:35 AM

Dnomyar

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What constitutes training? Is there a difference between training and learning. Are you not training yourself while your training someone else.

(in reply to Stephann)

Post #: 2

RE: Merits of a Training Program - 3/26/2008 10:04:11 AM

softness

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From: Leeds, UK
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personally..I benefit hugely from the training I have received over the time I have know Sir.. He has schooled me in countless things that make me more pleasing to Him.I may be totally off the mark but the training is all about leading to a place where I am a strong, healthy (mind/body) self disciplined and self sustaining woman who can quite happily and freely focus her considerable energies instead of on herself ... on Sir

Training is going to take the woman I am now,and make her into a strong and passionate slave for Sir ... one that will please Him and serve Him well. I am not so arrogant and full of pride that I cannot see I need His help to get there, and He is not so ignorant and isolated to see it as weakness that I need training.

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio

(in reply to Stephann)

Post #: 3

RE: Merits of a Training Program - 3/26/2008 10:05:42 AM

Stephann

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From: Portland, OR
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Train's a funky verb; one can train themselves, or train others. One can learn, but one does not learn others (in modern English at any rate.) Strictly speaking, being trained by someone does include learning. Yet I think the difference between teaching someone and training someone is distinguished by the intent. I teach my slave specific skills, when I'm training her (overall.) Certainly other labels for the concepts may apply.

When training my slave how to walk in heels, for example, I'm not expected to walk as she does. I may be learning how to better teach her to walk, but I wouldn't consider this to be training myself.

Stephan

_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 4

RE: Merits of a Training Program - 3/26/2008 10:11:00 AM

TracyTaken

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We don't incorporate formal training into our relationship. I make everything (like meals and drinks) and serve everything (usually while he is watching TV, which means zero protocol short of being as unobtrusive as possible).

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann

Training is a term we use to state the benchmarks for her growth and progress as both a slave, and a woman. She thrives under rules and expectations, and excelled in her educational life and now her professional life because of these expectations.

I understand thriving under structure, and I really resist structure unless it's coming from a place of intimacy or an intimate relationship ... so, that's strange. I bet it's not unusual among submissive people though.

(in reply to Stephann)

Post #: 5

RE: Merits of a Training Program - 3/26/2008 10:42:55 AM

Archer

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I like to talk about training as learning with direction and standards. Of that I think the idea of Standards, is the definative difference between learning and training.

(in reply to TracyTaken)

Post #: 6

RE: Merits of a Training Program - 3/26/2008 10:52:47 AM

BitaTruble

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From: Texas
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~fr~

I think most differences between teaching and training are going to be semantical in nature. You 'train' your dog, but the saying goes 'you can't teach an old dog new tricks'. The two words are often interchanged and I do think most will understand whether you use the word teach or train to get any particular concept across. Teaching is imparting knowledge while training might be taking that knowledge and applying it in a specific way (perhaps to accomplish a specific task.)

It's the difference between a coach saying to a runner - "Here are the steps you should take prior to beginning a run. Stretch, hydrate etc.," and a coach saying to a runner .. "You know how to run, I've taught you .. now go run 5 miles a day, every day so you can build the endurance to compete in the race."

I not only appreciate being trained (or taught) it's rather imperative to our dynamic if he wants me to serve as he desires instead of how I think I should. How am I to serve him if he doesn't tell me how to do so?

Celeste

< Message edited by BitaTruble -- 3/26/2008 10:53:24 AM >

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to TracyTaken)

Post #: 7

RE: Merits of a Training Program - 3/26/2008 10:59:40 AM

colouredin

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I dont like the concept purely because its one way, I think that all people grow and learn in relationships, I believe that I have taught things to Ceno just as he has to me, I think the concept of training implies that one person has more to give to the relationship than the other, I think all parties have something to give and room to grow. But thats probably just me being facetious to be honest.

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to Stephann)

Post #: 8

RE: Merits of a Training Program - 3/26/2008 11:02:31 AM

crouchingtigress

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From: Maui
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I think training and learning are very much one in the same. I think like so many things D/s we alter the language so that is sounds hotter.

And for me, structured and focused learning, does add something wonderful to to dynamic, it is one more place to play with power, and one more place to connect intimately.

_____________________________

Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 9

RE: Merits of a Training Program - 3/26/2008 11:06:59 AM

Stephann

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From: Portland, OR
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quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

I dont like the concept purely because its one way, I think that all people grow and learn in relationships, I believe that I have taught things to Ceno just as he has to me, I think the concept of training implies that one person has more to give to the relationship than the other, I think all parties have something to give and room to grow. But thats probably just me being facetious to be honest.

I'd hate to give the impression that I don't learn or grow in my relationship. If she didn't possess the capacity to help me grow, she'd not last long in my service.

Stephan

_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to colouredin)

Post #: 10

RE: Merits of a Training Program - 3/26/2008 11:11:08 AM

Archer

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colouredin, this is where the topic of Standards comes in handy. Who sets the standards? If there is a set standard then I see it as training. and obviously in an M/s or D/s relationship the standards are by and large going to be set by the D or M.
If pick a subject to be studied then it falls into the learning realm.

This is part of where the education system is failing though. They are training to a standardized test as opposed to educating the student. Even in the world of M/s I think both are needed.

But as Bita said it is a semantic difference. I'm just putting forth my opinion of where the line is drawn based on my understanding of the words.

(in reply to crouchingtigress)

Post #: 11

RE: Merits of a Training Program - 3/26/2008 11:12:36 AM

IronBear

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From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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I would thing the inportance ot training as implying a ridgid regime' with a strikct structure would apply well to some dynamics where as a more relaxed training system with more give and take would apply better to others. No matter what the dynamic teaching hast to happen for no sub/slave is born with the inherent knowledge of what any given Dominant will require and No Dominant is born with the inherent knowledge of what any given sub/slaves needs and wants.

Personally I prefer a strict training system not so unlike a military one with a goodly amount of learning happening for both the slave , myself and my wife as we go along. Ergo the slave's input is welcomes at the aporopriate times.

Iron Bear
Master of Bruin Cottage
(A Victorian Lifestyle poly home)

"I judge a Man by what I see him do and not by what others tell me he does." (Captain Sir Edward Pellew of the HMS Indefatigable to Midshipman Hornblower ~ C.S. Forrester)

(in reply to crouchingtigress)

Post #: 12

RE: Merits of a Training Program - 3/26/2008 11:36:07 AM

colouredin

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dont all relationships have a set of standards? I see it that I learn his quirks (how often he drinks coffee, how he likes it etc) I do that because I want to not so much that he has sat me down and said, right this is how you make a cup of coffee, i want it now now and now. Many things are implicit I am sure he sets standards for me, but I set higher ones for myself and try to do more than expected but thats a relationship differance I guess, its not the kind of relationship where there is lots of strict protocol or anything really its just I do my best to make him happy in whatever way that is.

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to Archer)

Post #: 13

RE: Merits of a Training Program - 3/26/2008 12:09:26 PM

crouchingtigress

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From: Maui
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moved to the other thread.

< Message edited by crouchingtigress -- 3/26/2008 12:27:37 PM >

_____________________________

Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 14

RE: Merits of a Training Program - 3/26/2008 1:08:03 PM

thetammyjo

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For me, the bulk of training comes before anyone has earned the position of my slave -- note the "my", this is about me not a statement about how it should be for anyone else.

Training does two things.

First, it allows both people to try a variety of activities, rules and rituals to see what works best for them.

Second, it offers the dominant the opportunity and responsibility to teach the sub how she wants things done in her house and in her presence (or beyond depending on how you want to structure you Ds relationship).

This training period then a way to get to know each other without the commitment that I feel is best reserved for owner-slave dynamics. At the end of the formal training, both people can then assess what they want from that point onward.

If a relationship will continue, some training may also continue but frankly, in my house, if a trainee hasn't learned how to live by my rules at the end of training that means he/she is not a suitable match as my slave.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Stephann)

Post #: 15

RE: Merits of a Training Program - 3/26/2008 1:56:31 PM

daddyncherry

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i'll take a stab at this to see if i am getting the difference you are making between teaching and training.....

my Daddy teaches me or exposes me to many different concepts of thought....usually taking me awhile to understand the lesson.....in doing so, in learning the lesson it helps me on many other levels of my service to him....so therefore the teaching aides in my training.....

lessons A- B-C-.....make way for training falling into places in categories Q-T-Z and 1-2-7....

i may learn one lesson and then my service improves in other things....the lessons are usually more spiritual or profound in nature but can be applied in practical things on a daily basis.

Not sure if i got it,....but it was a shot

_____________________________

Hugs,
cherry

Walking through life, and fear with a smile on my face.
Walking directly through the eye of the hurricane...and through to the other side..without fear....realizing everything will be okay. :)

being obedient 1day at a time

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 16

RE: Merits of a Training Program - 3/26/2008 3:32:10 PM

DarkDoorOpens

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For me there is conceptual difference, that is what is the purpose of each, as an example, the Military 'Train' their people to behave and/or perform in a manner that is outside the bounds of normal human behaviour. To obey even in when their lives are in immediate danger to themselves, it is a form of physcological conditioning, that goes beyond what is considered normal reaction. To do this they 'break down' the individuals by application of physical and physcological 'training' punishment is frequently used, pushups, runs, or as we commonly call them beastings..LOL.....having reach a minimum level i.e. graduating boot camp they are then sent further down the pipeline for either additional 'Training' (Ranger School, Marine Recon, SOF, PJ, CCT, SEAL) or to school where they are 'Taught' here the concept is different, they take a now relatively maleable object and "are able to teach it" because the training has laid the foundation for that individual to be open to the concept of learning what they (The Military) consider to be important 'For Them' so the basis of creating a good sub/slave is in the Initial Training.....

...

(in reply to daddyncherry)

Post #: 17

RE: Merits of a Training Program - 3/26/2008 4:04:20 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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I'm not into rules, procedures, rituals or any of that.

But training is a nearly constant flowing dynamic in just about every level of my life and my relationship. I'm not sure how someone really becomes proficient at anything without real training and practice unless they are a savant of some sort.

I wish more dominants realized they need to focus on training themselves as much as their slaves.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to DarkDoorOpens)

Post #: 18

RE: Merits of a Training Program - 3/26/2008 5:05:00 PM

DesFIP

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From: Apple County NY
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Wouldn't work for us. First we have ums at home, and that changes everything. Beyond that, if I'm expected to keep learning new things while keeping the old ones going, I will feel like a juggler with plates in the air. And eventually they will fall. Moreover the fear of having them fall will cause me to short circuit stuff and drop them to get the failure over with as soon as possible. Dread is not an emotion I enjoy.

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Slave to laundry

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Post #: 19

RE: Merits of a Training Program - 3/26/2008 5:07:46 PM

Leatherist

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It only works if you know the capabilities of the subject.

You cannot knock a square peg into a round hole-no matter how fancy the mallet you are using.

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My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

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