Controlling Him from Afar (Full Version)

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Lookin4Mybitch -> Controlling Him from Afar (3/26/2008 11:25:41 AM)

I am a somewhat new mistress and would like your advice on exercises that would demonstrate to my sub that I am in charge. Presently, live apart but we wil be meeting face to face in a few weeks. Any ideas of how I can show his place with me from afar?

Thanks!



Madame4a -> RE: Controlling Him from Afar (3/26/2008 11:34:59 AM)

I don't have much to suggest but rituals, ones designed to remind him of his place.

I think if you search long distance relationships and online relationships, you'll probably find a lot of things that people do.



Lockit -> RE: Controlling Him from Afar (3/26/2008 11:45:57 AM)

I would recommend a great long distance service on your phones.  I had one that had to call me anytime he left his house and when he got back, just as if I were there and he had to say good bye or hello when leaving or returning.  I did this so that he got into the pattern of making me a bigger part of his life.  This was while we were long distance and he wasn't used to checking in and had some issues with a few things.

Daily journals were big, reports on daily activities, feelings, desires, ect.  The more I knew, the more I was able to decide what to do and when.

There is nothing like in-person, but there can be a lot of interesting developments whatever the situation.  Have fun!



AMADF -> RE: Controlling Him from Afar (3/26/2008 6:47:53 PM)

I dont really beleave in long distance control cause honestly theres no way to know if theire really are doing what they supposed to.

Eventhough while my sub was a away he had to send me a message at 6:00 saying what a bitch he was for me. He even put an alarm to 17:55 so the message wont arrive later. So were ever he was at that time he hears the alarma and send it. Since he worked so hard he had instructions of sending the msn in prior time if for instance he knew at that time he had a meeting with his boss.  Also sometimes ask for specific things before he went to bed so he thinks of me before going to bed.

As recommended before search here under cybersex, cause theres a lot of things you can ask him to do in a cam infornt of you: put clamps or  bark or use female lingerie or dance like a hore (like i told you there no guarantee he would not jerk alone after all this). If he has money enough you can ask him to buy a chastity device and put it web cam. For those You can buy  plastic lockers that have numbers , none of the lockers have the same so if he breack them you will nottice.

Can be fun to check the number every day and make him beg to cum after some  days.



TNstepsout -> RE: Controlling Him from Afar (3/26/2008 7:32:04 PM)

There are a lot of things you can do long distance to keep the bond strong when you are apart. You can make him keep a schedule on a calendar that you can access that let's  you know where he is and what he's doing throughout the day. You can have him email and tell you what he ate and drank. You can have him tell you every time he touches his privates-even if it's just a scratch.  He can tell you at the end of the day, or you can make him email you every time. (if possible). You can have him carry a trinket that you give him or make him go buy. You can make him wear a ribbon or cord around his cock under his clothes-make him take a pic with his cellphone in the bathroom at work. Go to a chain store that he will have in his area, like Walmart or Target and find something you want him to buy, write down exactly the brand etc.. and have him buy the same item in the store near him. Have him email (or text) you every 3-4 hours on the nose. Have him call each night for permission to go to bed (or something like that-make sure you will be around- poor guy can't have him up all night) Have him keep a journal online. Have him do things for you online, like research the best place to get your car repaired, which new TV to buy etc...

That should get you started.



LadyJeelys -> RE: Controlling Him from Afar (3/27/2008 4:23:20 AM)

I guess it depends on the personality of your pet. By that I mean, I don't really have to wonder if my pet is doing what I tell him---he wants to obey. The bigger problem for me, is that because I'm not there sometimes I don't have all the information I need when exerting that control. For example, I prefer my pet to sleep on the bathroom floor--conditions allowing. He got very sick last fall after sleeping on the floor after a major temperature drop.

Soooo, I think whatever you do, just make sure he knows that he's going to have be willing to tell you no when needed and that he's going to have use a bit of common sense .




Dnomyar -> RE: Controlling Him from Afar (3/27/2008 4:37:27 AM)

A cam and a mic is a lot better and cheaper than a phone.



stop352 -> RE: Controlling Him from Afar (3/28/2008 6:44:33 AM)

but is distant education better than full time?



BlkGoddessD -> RE: Controlling Him from Afar (3/28/2008 6:49:03 AM)

I would chat on cam daliy and order him to do All kinds of things. He was told when to use the bathroom and when  to eat. I also made him wirte me a poem daily of his love for his Mistress. He now cannot get thru a day unless we are together! I love it!! Train him then stop for a few days see how it works.....Mistress Dee...



stop352 -> RE: Controlling Him from Afar (3/28/2008 6:52:01 AM)

Yes i agree.. i feel that sometimes there is a need for long distance control and on other occassions it is time for real time.



Lookin4Mybitch -> RE: Controlling Him from Afar (3/28/2008 10:00:29 AM)

[:D] Thanks to all of you so far for all your great responses so far. I really appreciate it !



sleuthingsub -> RE: Controlling Him from Afar (3/28/2008 10:19:19 AM)

My gf and I were just discussing this topic recently, as I'll be abroad for about 7 months.  Some ideas we've come up with:
- both have webcams and mics to use with skype
- a chastity device (though I'd recommend he or someone close by has a spare key)
- A piece of clothing worn daily to remind him of you and his status (panties, ribbon, etc)

Thanks for starting this topic.  I suspect I'll be showing it to my gf for some more ideas.

Good luck,
-sleuth



TNstepsout -> RE: Controlling Him from Afar (3/28/2008 12:43:23 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: stop352

but is distant education better than full time?


No, it's not better, but it's nice to have ideas because even with 24/7 relationships there can be times that you are apart. Most D/s relationships are NOT 24/7 and begin much like dating. The two parties come together for a time and then go their separate ways. Having rituals, activities, schedules, and other reminders of the bond can be very rewarding for both parties when they are apart. It's kind of like keeping a fire stoked instead of letting it go out completely. It's also a great way to ease problems of sub drop.



LadyHathor -> RE: Controlling Him from Afar (3/28/2008 1:49:44 PM)

I have to agree with LadyJeelys----you have to have a boy who WANTS to be controlled, no matter, where ever and when ever---many boys say that but its all talk---so its not so much what can you do to show you are in charge, its what will he do to show you he believes you are.
 



canupleaseme -> RE: Controlling Him from Afar (3/28/2008 1:50:28 PM)

In the beginning of our relationship we lived 4 hours apart and had no transpport so most of the things we did were distance training type things.
We had daily rituals and a cb300, email assigments, picture assigments and loads of other things and they all worked well for us.  I wouldn't want to go back to being long distance but the time we did spend like that was very valuble to us and we talked all the time on the phone or im and I think we learnt a lot more in that time than we would of had we been together from the start.

The down side of it all is the lack of physical comfort and play, sub drop and domme drop etc.  I often found it really hard when he had to go home but we learnt very quickly how to deal with it and we both put 100% effort into making sure we talked about how we were feeling and how we could improve things.

The most special thing we did distance wise for me was having him kneel for me for 5-20 minutes when he got up and when he went to bed.  He would call me every morning and I would have little games to play with him every evening.




Lookin4Mybitch -> RE: Controlling Him from Afar (3/29/2008 6:52:09 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: canupleaseme



.

The most special thing we did distance wise for me was having him kneel for me for 5-20 minutes when he got up and when he went to bed.  He would call me every morning and I would have little games to play with him every evening.



When you say you had him kneel for you 5-10 mins when he got up and also when he went to bed. How did you know he did it? Was it just a daily ritual that he did on his own per your request or you watched him on cam do that?



sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Controlling Him from Afar (3/29/2008 7:04:20 AM)

not listed as Mistress however i own a male pet

my pet is currently away on business for his company and whenever he phones from his hotel room, he's naked with chastity belt on kneeling on the floor while we chat. he tells me everything that i should be aware of like cumming inside the belt or self punishing himself for not staying focused on his work. while in Denver, he bought a new belt which has tiny pins inside the leather and if he gets an erection according to him those pins hurt but he loves the pain. now he's wears cock ring with his belt to show his complete devotion to me.



canupleaseme -> RE: Controlling Him from Afar (3/29/2008 9:15:49 AM)

Hi 

Most of the time we had webcam on over night and I would watch him on there each time.  The times we couldn't he would phone me when he was kneeling and I had trust in him to make sure he did it. 
Getting him to make me little videos doing certain tasks was also fun [:)]



LadyJeelys -> RE: Controlling Him from Afar (3/30/2008 2:26:54 PM)

My gets up at 5am to kneel for an hour--when feasible (again, that whole use common sense thing). How do I know he does it? Because he WANTS to do it.



MistressOfGa -> RE: Controlling Him from Afar (3/31/2008 8:59:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHathor

I have to agree with LadyJeelys----you have to have a boy who WANTS to be controlled, no matter, where ever and when ever---many boys say that but its all talk---so its not so much what can you do to show you are in charge, its what will he do to show you he believes you are.
 



I couldnt agree more. My pup and I have been long distance AND we have been full time/live in and then back to long distance. Before we were together full time, I would have him do excersizes using a program (typing) I can't remember it now, but it times him and if he makes a mistake on it, a little reminder from me pops up to warn him to hurry. It was fun as hell for me lol
Now, with us being long distance again, he has to ask permission for everything he does (outside of school stuff). Eating, going to stores, going to shower and anything else, right up to can he visit his parents when they want to come to town. If I say no, he has to say no to his parents. It is a huge deal with us, as his submissiion to them was pretty heavy when I met him. With my help, he has broken free of the attachment they had on him. Long distance relationships can work, but it takes TRUST and a whole bunch of communication.

MoGa



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