RE: Slipping Through the Cracks

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RE: Slipping Through the Cracks - 3/28/2008 4:54:07 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
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I'm always pleased when my slave desires me and he's free to express that desire though not to attempt to begin any sexual activity -- he has to even ask my permission to kiss me but that's us and it turns us both on for things to work that way. However, until I got very sick last fall we were having sexual activities on a regular basis.

Anyway that's another topic....

My over all point is that when someone just wants sex when they first see me or after a brief email or chat, they want sex with my body or the fantasy in their head, not with me. Maybe some folks get off on being objectified but I don't. If someone feels that way, he/she'd best keep that in their own heads until they know me a lot better.

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RE: Slipping Through the Cracks - 3/28/2008 5:04:06 PM

darchChylde

Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
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While i've enjoyed the response, i would like to reiterate that i wasn't specifically looking for either/or responses; but actually with the understanding that most women actually fall somewhere between these two extremes. But i was looking for more specific explanations of where you stand on the issue of sexual desire and the expression of it by your submissive.

A) It's just not submissive for a guy to want sex and cocks are worth nothing other than a delicious target for pain and humiliation. As men have long been the sexual oppressors throughout all of history, it's my duty to figuratively and literally stomp out the male libido; and if i were to so deign to get my rocks off, it certainly wouldn't be with a submissive, but a real man.

B) My submissive better constantly want me and be rock-hard at a moments notice; he's gotta be a dynamo, a battery-free vibrator who will never get a tongue cramp.

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RE: Slipping Through the Cracks - 3/28/2008 5:41:48 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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I'm going to say that I am totally in Camp B, or darn near, IF that is a sub I am having sexual contact with. (For my Constant Readers, I did at one time go in for that sort of thing...) I accept that there is that refractory period, and that a person can't get it up all the time, but yanno? Mr SubbySlutGuy does NOT get to say no to me. I get happy pants, no matter what, in whatever way is most expedient. So there.

Now, not all men are capable of sexual activity, and if that's the case, then I am not going to require it of that man. When I say "not capable" I am referring to men who are with SO's and have sex as a limit, not just those with ED or some other health issue.

I am not ever going to squash someone's libido. It's far more likely that I will try to enhance it, and if the guy is one of those prudish shy types, seriously mess with his mind in the sluttiest ways possible. That's about the only time I will trot out the lingerie for HIM, along with the trusty Polaroid...

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RE: Slipping Through the Cracks - 3/28/2008 5:42:01 PM

justLady

Posts: 26
Joined: 6/21/2006
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I think many have answered your question very ably, thus far. Here's my tuppence.

Personally, I love to be desired, as does my boy.

He wants me and I want him. He wants me to want him, and I want him to want me.

He's submissive, so typically expresses his desire with subtle signals such as holding me tighter when we cuddle, offering me a massage or being particularly attentive to my needs. This shifts to outright pleading when he's been denied orgasm for some time. Obviously, his cock is a fantastic bell-weather indicator of how he's feeling in relation to his level of arousal.

I'm dominant, so I typically express my desire with forthright signals, such as 'Strip and kneel in your Collar position', putting him across my lap for a spanking or teasing his upper thighs and groin while whispering very dirty things in his ear.

He'd love me to pant after him 24/7, I'd love him to pant after me 24/7, but we're real people with real lives. Sometimes he's tired/stressed/not feeling well, ditto for me.

I wouldn't be much of a Mistress if I didn't trust my own ability to (mostly) manage this balance successfully.

The way I look at it, there is no difference between the basics of what he wants and I want - to be loved, supported, aroused, touched tenderly, fucked hard, rocked to sleep when we're feeling low. We just express ourselves differently.

But then, I'm not a FemDom believer, etc.

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