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rate of attrition? - 3/27/2008 4:18:11 AM

LadyEllen

Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline

Sad case that I am, I’ve just finished analysing the last 100 contacts I’ve had from sub males, both here and on another (less good obviously) site.

82 had no idea I’m TS, but bolted as soon as I mentioned it

7 more had no idea I’m TS, and bolted a short while after I mentioned it

3 had picked up on the idea that I’m TS and had no problem with it, but stopped responding not long afterwards

8 had picked up on the idea that I’m TS, had no problem with it and arranged to meet

Of those, 5 failed to turn up, 2 had obviously chosen me as it was the closest they’d ever get to a woman, and 1 turned out to be an old school friend from 30 years ago!

Of the total 100 contacts, the only one that came to anything was the old school friend with whom I’ve shared the occasional play session but nothing more (he’s the one who has the single tail I played with for the first time a few weeks back).

I wondered if others have a similar rate of attrition, albeit for other reasons perhaps?

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

Post #: 1

RE: rate of attrition? - 3/27/2008 4:43:04 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

Change is constant here. People come and go for various reasons. You have to learn to be flexible.

(in reply to LadyEllen)

Post #: 2

RE: rate of attrition? - 3/27/2008 4:57:27 AM

Parataxis

Posts: 56
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

It's one of the problems with being Trans, I've found. Once you weed out the trannie-chasers and the transphobics, there's not often much left. Are you in a big city? Most of my girlfriends in Toronto seem to have not have much problem finding dates (not all of them are dominant though); I wonder if there's an urban/suburban divide.

But yes, back to the actual question. Rates of attrition (especially from online forums) can be huge. Fantasty is a huge motivator; reality, not so much.

*le sigh*

< Message edited by Parataxis -- 3/27/2008 4:58:58 AM >

(in reply to LadyEllen)

Post #: 3

RE: rate of attrition? - 3/27/2008 5:35:46 AM

TNstepsout

Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline

Yes it's pretty much the same here. Different reasons, obviously. I haven't done a thorough analysis, but as an estimate I would say that out of 100, 75 and maybe as much as 90, are from men out of my area, and/or are just online wankers (want to buy pee or have me watch them on cam etc...). Of those in my area (10-25) about half of those are from men who are too young. Too close to my kids age and I just can't handle it. Out of the remaining 5-12, some are married, have a specific kink, haven't bothered to fill out a profile and/or can't carry on a conversation beyond two word sentences orall they want to talk about is kink and sex. Of the tiny few remaining, 1-2 usually, I find after a few conversations that there just isn't much rapport, or we meet and there's no rapport. I haven't had any face to face no-shows, but I have had some who no-show online and disappear.

(in reply to Parataxis)

Post #: 4

RE: rate of attrition? - 3/27/2008 7:24:00 AM

chiaThePet

Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline

Yep, I hear ya.

Given the number of footprints on my ceiling that aren't mine certainly
tells a sad story. Add to that the small penis, large penis attrition rate.
The, "There are so many submissives to Dominants that I can be pickier
than my ring finger up my nose" attrition rate, and it's a wonder that I
come in contact with anything but the garbage maintenance technician.

Unfortunately, when one cuts the fantasy fat from the filet, it tends to
shrink to appetizer proportion rather quickly. Exactly why I keep
side of vanilla dessert just for those guilty pleasures.

A man's gotta eat sometime.

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to LadyEllen)

Post #: 5

RE: rate of attrition? - 3/27/2008 7:45:10 AM

AtlantaMistress

Posts: 276
Joined: 6/14/2007
Status: offline

LadyEllen,

I do believe that there are a disproportionate number of game players/time wasters online, but I went to perv you to see what you may be able to change in your profile to give you a better chance at the numbers game. I don't know when you changed the profile to just be for the forums, but it does also say Dominant Female, and if you put Dominant TG - you would wean out the 82% who are Transphobic right away. Why bother wasting your time with them anyway?

Good luck to you though, and hang in there!

_____________________________

Mistress Sandy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'd rather be hated for something I am than loved for something I am not.

(in reply to chiaThePet)

Post #: 6

RE: rate of attrition? - 3/27/2008 7:54:48 AM

LadyHathor

Posts: 775
Joined: 1/2/2008
Status: offline

You know LadyE, I think it has to do more with computer time and life--they start out panting at the screen, then life intervenes, or they get caught or heaven forbid You should have things to do and have a life and poof---

I just think the stimulous ends quickly if you get My meaning---"ok that was fun, now what"...

_____________________________

Lady Hathor, I am the Mistress Hathor of Orleans, I am what I am, often to the dismay and discomfort of others.

(in reply to LadyEllen)

Post #: 7

RE: rate of attrition? - 3/27/2008 8:13:33 AM

LadyEllen

Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AtlantaMistress

LadyEllen,

I do believe that there are a disproportionate number of game players/time wasters online, but I went to perv you to see what you may be able to change in your profile to give you a better chance at the numbers game. I don't know when you changed the profile to just be for the forums, but it does also say Dominant Female, and if you put Dominant TG - you would wean out the 82% who are Transphobic right away. Why bother wasting your time with them anyway?

Good luck to you though, and hang in there!

I changed it this morning; time for a rethink. Prior to this latest change it was written to put off the idiots, but that had little to no effect overall.

The problem with the "trans" category is, that its then assumed automatically that I'm a crossdresser - nothing wrong with crossdressers, but that isnt me, and registering as trans also brings its own problems, in the shape of a deluge of trannie-fanciers who I'm afraid, creep me out.

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to AtlantaMistress)

Post #: 8

RE: rate of attrition? - 3/27/2008 8:56:48 AM

faerytattoodgirl

Posts: 5824
Status: offline

wow...you get that many replies???? i'd be happy to get one that had serious interest from my profile.

the people who wrote me...before i put couples/men on block...

1)commented on how they loved my tattoos 90%
2)were one liners 1%
3)attempted to add me to friend list 6%
4)asked me what intersexed was...ran fast as hell after i told them 2%
5)add me to their fav's list and never write me 1%

but 0% had real interest in me....the rest were from the boards who already knew me but still pose no interest because a)they were men and im not seeking. b)they're already in a relationship c)just were curious

_____________________________

I did not reply to your cmail.

I am flawed.

Imperfect.

MUST SPANK!!!

SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

(in reply to LadyEllen)

Post #: 9

RE: rate of attrition? - 3/27/2008 9:01:39 AM

LadyEllen

Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline

I had some pretty good photos up Faery (now all removed), which attracted a fair bit of interest I'm sure - the photo I used for the boards was deliberately poor!

And yes, I get the "friends" thing too - from people I've never heard of, so why would I confirm them as "friends" and why are they asking?

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)

Post #: 10

RE: rate of attrition? - 3/27/2008 9:04:42 AM

faerytattoodgirl

Posts: 5824
Status: offline

eh im damn hot..so i know its not my pictures.

but i bet if i posted my boob shot or my catsuit picture as my main photo...

and took off the autoblock of men/couples....

i would get 100 mails a day.

_____________________________

I did not reply to your cmail.

I am flawed.

Imperfect.

MUST SPANK!!!

SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

(in reply to LadyEllen)

Post #: 11

RE: rate of attrition? - 3/27/2008 9:14:12 AM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

I don't know what my percentages are but I can tell you I get a lot of :
A)Men coming into town on business and want their asses whipped
B) Subs looking for a Domme even though my profile states I am NOT looking
C) Fem subs whose Owners told them to contact me so they can watch me dominate their girls
D)Various friends requests from people I've never heard of.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)

Post #: 12

RE: rate of attrition? - 3/27/2008 9:27:38 AM

Najakcharmer

Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline

Yeah. I don't know how hard it is for someone to a) actually read my profile and b) start a conversation based on our vanilla common interests, but it must be incredibly hard because almost no one here bothers to do it even though I've stated it as a hard limit. As in, you will be blocked and deleted if you are incapable of introducing yourself like a normal polite human being and having an intelligent conversation in the process of getting to know someone you are proposing to submit to. The vast majority of the people who write me end up on the block/delete list because they can't do this simple thing and don't read profiles.

My guess is that most of the people who visit online BDSM sites are wankers with absolutely no intention of ever meeting anyone or forming a real relationship. If they don't get instant online gratification they won't bother, and that's all they want. There can't be any other explanation for the constant deluge of stupidity in my mailbox.

(in reply to LadyEllen)

Post #: 13

RE: rate of attrition? - 3/27/2008 10:07:15 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

How are you supposed to write someone if your blocked? Op I agree that you should put that your TG in your profile. Why hide it.

(in reply to Najakcharmer)

Post #: 14

RE: rate of attrition? - 3/27/2008 10:19:47 AM

AtlantaMistress

Posts: 276
Joined: 6/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

How are you supposed to write someone if your blocked? Op I agree that you should put that your TG in your profile. Why hide it.

I also agree - which is why I mentioned it before. I understand you don't want the tranny chasers, but use your actual profile to explain you are not a cross dresser, and not interested in the boys that you are creeped out by. Now - realize, still many will NOT read the profile - I am VERY clear in mine - written at the top in RED LETTERS that I am a PRO Domme, but still get tons of messages from subs that are not looking for that. I could not be clearer. The best chance to have is to be as open as you can with who you are and what you are looking for, wean through the bad and hope there someone will actually read your profile and find a good match. I am very selective with who I see - and although the numbers of men that I do see are a far minority to the ones I won't, I still have found some very good boys. I also found MY boy/My love through cm, but he had a clear picture of who I was when he contacted me.

I do understand the frustration, but don't give up! There are still good people out there, and I do believe a match for everyone.

_____________________________

Mistress Sandy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'd rather be hated for something I am than loved for something I am not.

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 15

RE: rate of attrition? - 3/27/2008 11:05:27 AM

bittermoonlight

Posts: 48
Joined: 2/28/2007
Status: offline

I have to agree that it's pretty much just a lot of people who aren't serious. Unfortunately the internet makes it easy to jot a few words down hoping for gratification or stimuli or lack of boredom - so I think the follow through rate is pretty low whatever your gender or sexuality. Good luck, though!

(in reply to AtlantaMistress)

Post #: 16

RE: rate of attrition? - 3/27/2008 11:19:06 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Crap. Now I had to go do, like, actual research.

Ok. I went the easier route of checking out the past 72 people who viewed My profile.

Of those 72, there is only one who has ever bothered to contact Me or meet Me in person. That one, singular person, happens to be the gal who designed the corset in My main profile pic. I've met her (of course) in person and she is a wonderful gal. I would recommend her to anyone who would like to have something who wants something to wear that is just so.

As to the rest, there were a number of sub females. Those who have come to know Me understand that I have no interest there. In other words..... NEXT.

Also there were more than a few Dominant males. Again, NEXT.

The same goes with Dominant females. I've gotten used to this through My past time on the boards. I'm not talking here about Femmes who have gotten to know Me over the course of what I've said on the boards. More the looky-loo types who can't get a grip on the way I do things or how I live. Just another version of curiosity seekers. Not woman who have come to know Me through what I post. NEXT.

The largest category being that of male bottoms/subs/slaves who enjoyed My picture, but didn't have the balls to come and talk to Me. <shrugs>

So, don't feel like you are being singled out for who you are or what you do. It happens to all of us.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to bittermoonlight)

Post #: 17

RE: rate of attrition? - 3/27/2008 11:28:32 AM

Najakcharmer

Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

How are you supposed to write someone if your blocked?

I don't auto-block anyone, so everyone has basically one chance to write me and say something that makes it clear that they have read my profile and can hold a normal, intelligent conversation to demonstrate that they might be a person worth knowing.

When I get the obligatory penis picture and "I R SLAVE WILL U B MY MISTRESS & HAVE TEH ORAL SEXX0RS WITH ME?" as their first introduction, that's when I do the block/ignore thing.

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 18

RE: rate of attrition? - 3/27/2008 11:45:10 AM

faerytattoodgirl

Posts: 5824
Status: offline

ya should add intersexed to your tv/ts/tg list.....that way everyone is covered..unless you have the hots for someone intersexed...i am hot you know..

_____________________________

I did not reply to your cmail.

I am flawed.

Imperfect.

MUST SPANK!!!

SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 19

RE: rate of attrition? - 3/27/2008 11:57:53 AM

BoiJen

Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline

Okay...somebody is gonna hate me...and it's okay.

I think it's SUPER important to put the TS part in your profile. It's not. No wonder they didn't think so...especially because there's an option in the profile setup to put it there. YOU mislead them. Not their fault.

Secondly, it's irritate.

Finally, it's the net. Deal. We all get spammers wankers and bitchers.

And that's it. I'm on to the next part of my mission to bring some sense of sanity to this world.

Next: Yahoo's deletion of "adult" profiles.

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)

Post #: 20

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