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Are new users really different? - 7/17/2004 3:50:10 AM

iwillserveu

Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I thought it was just me being a fuddy duddy, but I’ve heard from another source that this recent influx of users seems to go out of it’s way to be insulting. I don’t want to sound like “in my day it never rained” or something, but in my experience the first post of someone explained how I am not a real man, another demand an acknowledgement then projected everything wrong they did on me. I’ve seen out and out ad hominem attacks (they don’t work in a written forum, btw) and let’s agree to disagree, ignored.

Anyway, I do sound like my grandfather telling me “In my day the candy bar was 1 cent and as big as a house.” Any one else notice this or am I a super user elitist?

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

Post #: 1

RE: Are new users really different? - 7/17/2004 7:15:55 AM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Another source hmm? Well I'll tell you what I've noticed. The old timer's here. You all know who we are. The ones who feel like home here. When someone new comes in, its almost like they have lost all patience. They attack the newbie, call them stupid or what have you. I don't know if it is a case of being in a hurry and mis-reading what the poster said or what.
All I know is we have much less tolerance for the newbies than we once did. Look around the posts. Yesterday alone I replied to about 4 posts where many had replied sooner and nobody had even gotten near what the question was in the first place.
I know depending on mood I do the same thing. The collarme boards has turned into a mini family for a lot of us. Time marches on so does family. Its going to grow and you're going to end up with more children and grandchildren. We need to remember they are just like we were six month's ago. Finding a board and wanting to participate.

(in reply to iwillserveu)

Post #: 2

RE: Are new users really different? - 7/17/2004 9:26:43 AM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

quote:

mis-reading what the poster said or what.

There are times when i think we don't misread the post but instead choose to reply to something else in the post other than the question posed, for example the one about photographing up skirts.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to sub4hire)

Post #: 3

RE: Are new users really different? - 7/17/2004 10:05:59 AM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Yep, that definately happens as well.

(in reply to proudsub)

Post #: 4

RE: Are new users really different? - 7/17/2004 11:07:11 AM

EStrict

Posts: 729
Joined: 1/11/2004
Status: offline

::laughing:: I don't think any has really changed IWill. We have had the yellers, screames and rude posters since day one of the forum. It's just the next round. The early ones toned down, went away, or we just got use to them....

_____________________________

Sandy

Don't take life too seriously, no one gets out alive anyway...

(in reply to sub4hire)

Post #: 5

RE: Are new users really different? - 7/17/2004 2:39:04 PM

January

Posts: 891
Joined: 4/17/2004
Status: offline

You know, I've been wondering the same thing. Not that people are getting ruder, but some of the brand new people jump in "fists first". Most of them calm down. Lots of them leave after pooping on us.

I've been thinking about why. I might have an idea. (Also through another source), I discovered that some of these brand new "fists first" people don't realize the board is moderated when they first post!

Until they really screw up. But by then they've offended lots of folks.

So I was wondering if the Admin might change the title of this part of collarme from "Message Boards" to "Moderated Message Boards". That might Chill some of these brand new hot heads.

What do you think?

January

_____________________________

[link: http://www.bookstrand.com/miss-you-sir] Miss You, Sir by January Rowe is available from Siren now! It's my latest smokin' hot bdsm romance.[/link]

(in reply to iwillserveu)

Post #: 6

RE: Are new users really different? - 7/17/2004 3:35:59 PM

Guest

It's a nice thought January, but I doubt it would make a difference. They don't read the rules of the forum before they post, what makes you think they would even notice (or believe) the word moderated?

I have written about 3 dozen people because of complaints, posts in the wrong place, or breaking rules. 99% of them will tell you they are being persecuted. The first line back to most letters is something like, "Well did you say something to them too?" or "__________ started it". Problem posters often aren't willing to take responsibility for their own actions and I doubt that will change in the near future.

Oh, on the bright side, there will be a new Mod to help out soon. Mod 5 should be making his appearance in a few more days.

Mod4

(in reply to January)

Post #: 7

RE: Are new users really different? - 7/17/2004 6:10:54 PM

ModeratorThree

Posts: 949
Status: offline

As Mod4 has mentioned, it is a great thought. But it will not change anything.

At the top of every forum are the forum guidelines. Posted by a Moderator, if they cannot figure out the forum is in fact Moerated from that, they never will.

And I really don't believe this to be the issue anyway. We turned the forum light red, so that those that may have not noticed it in the past would, and possibly participate. That created a larger number of users comeing over to this side. They saw the forums and thought hey kinnda cool. And posted. I know that on other message boards I have posted and not returned for days if not at all. We have had a few stay with us, and some are starting to trickle back in.

The best thing for the forums is this, to the posters that have been here and have saw the good and the bad. Remember you too were once new, and most have probably not read every single forum rule. You got through the bumps and the newness of it all. Take what others post with a grain of salt and give them time to get used to the forums. The Moderators will deal with issues as we find them. If you see something we may have overlooked send us an email and ask if we noticed. I personally have NO issues with someone mailing me to say "hey did you notice". I don't take it as someone telling me how to do my job or anything else. I may or may not have noticed and appreciate it if someone cares enough about this community to point out a possible problem. I may or may not mail you back, for this I apoligize beforehand. I am not here as much as I was and I am flooded with things that need to be done. But I do read every mail sent to me.

Things are setteling down some in my life for the moment so I am able to get here a couple times a day, next month things should be much better.. or I will at least have a better hold on the situation. I am in the process of moving and have a serious illness in the family. My nephew was also in a car accident a couple days ago and lost his mother to a head on collision, it is doubtful he will make it. He is 15, while this is a sad thing, my children are also trying to deal with it.. so taking care of their hearts is at the top of the list. The saying holds true, when it rains it pours. I have a storm of the century in my life at the moment. So don't hesitate to email and let me know if you think I missed something, because honestly I may have.

Let's try to embrace the new users and not be over critical at the moment. Give it time and it will settle down. This forum has become a second family to many here, we know about each others lives and are great at helping each other. As with any family when it grows there is an adjustment period for all involved. If new users get out of hand we will deal with it as quickly as we can, but it is important not to be rude back or seem too critical of them. Give them the benifit of trying to adjust to the place and get comfy. We will have those that are just going to show their ass... and they will be dealt with.

Mod3

(in reply to Guest)

Post #: 8

RE: Are new users really different? - 7/17/2004 9:56:17 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

quote:

My nephew was also in a car accident a couple days ago and lost his mother to a head on collision, it is doubtful he will make it. He is 15,

Really sorry to hear that ModThree. My prayers are with you.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to ModeratorThree)

Post #: 9

RE: Are new users really different? - 7/17/2004 10:43:06 PM

ModeratorThree

Posts: 949
Status: offline

Thank you proud, the sentiment is appreciated greatly.

Mod3

(in reply to proudsub)

Post #: 10

RE: Are new users really different? - 7/18/2004 5:56:21 AM

iwillserveu

Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I disagree.

Forum guidelines are like the booklet of instruction for your new DVD player. 90% or so will never read them.

Putting the word "moderated" on the button that links to here is like putting DVD player on the box. People will read one word on the button. They won't read 500 words in the guidelines.

I think January's suggestion will work wonders if applied. Besides, what have you got to lose? Best-case scenario: you get fuzzy puppies and pretty flowers for adding one word to a button. Worst-case scenario: nothing changes despite the arduous work involved in changing one word in a button.

In a side note, hope everything turn out OK, MOD3.

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to ModeratorThree)

Post #: 11

RE: Are new users really different? - 7/18/2004 6:11:28 AM

SherriA

Posts: 544
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: iwillserveu
Anyway, I do sound like my grandfather telling me “In my day the candy bar was 1 cent and as big as a house.” Any one else notice this or am I a super user elitist?

I've been around for awhile, but life got busy and I didn't read or post for a few months. I came back recently and didn't notice any difference in the tone or quality of posts. Maybe I'm immune to it, since I'm a cranky old bitch anyway, but things here seem the same to me as they did when I was active before.

There have always been (and will always be) people who we don't enjoy interacting and who we feel don't post appropriately for whatever reason. I don't see any more of then now than I did before. Perhaps there was a lull in this type of thing and I missed it.

It could be that people became comfortable with each other's style and when an influx of new users appeared (thanks for making the message boards more noticable on the main page menu, btw Mods!) it upset the familiar rhythm a bit. Give it some time and the balance will re-establish itself, I'm sure. You'll get used to the new folks style and learn who irks you to the point that it's not worth the frustration of reading them.

_____________________________

-- Sherri

Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.

(in reply to iwillserveu)

Post #: 12

RE: Are new users really different? - 7/18/2004 1:37:25 PM

topcat

Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline

M. Trey-

Aww geez- does it ever stop?

Hang in there lady- you will pull this off. I know it. And do remember that caring for you has got to make it on to the priotity list, too.

You know how to get in touch- don't be shy, now, ya hear?

stay warm,
Lawrence

_____________________________

-there is no remission without blood-

(in reply to ModeratorThree)

Post #: 13

RE: Are new users really different? - 7/18/2004 9:17:18 PM

baileythorne

Posts: 264
Joined: 6/6/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ModeratorThree

Thank you proud, the sentiment is appreciated greatly.

One day at a time. Some times, one hour at a time...

Hope your nephew survives in good health, but if not, that you and your children
make peace with what they can't change.

As for newbies, I'm one to the forums and I never read anything. Lawrence told me that if I wanted to know more about him, read is posts. I did. Then I started sharing my thoughts as well. After being on several community sites, I figured it couldn't be that tough. Good manners are always well recieved.

hugs,
bailey

_____________________________

Dance like no one's watching and
Love like you've never been hurt.

(in reply to ModeratorThree)

Post #: 14

RE: Are new users really different? - 7/20/2004 3:15:06 PM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Mod 3 you know how to find me if you need me. All you have to do is reach out.

As far as the site and users changing. I realized yesterday. Inyouagain has a new submissive. That's why we don't see him here preaching his "rules"
Perhaps that is why. Nobody could be as vigilant as he is or was.

(in reply to iwillserveu)

Post #: 15

RE: Are new users really different? - 7/20/2004 3:31:37 PM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Really sorry to hear that ModThree. My prayers are with you.

You are in my thoughts as well, Mod3. Please let me know if there is anything
I can do.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to sub4hire)

Post #: 16

RE: Are new users really different? - 7/20/2004 6:54:48 PM

January

Posts: 891
Joined: 4/17/2004
Status: offline

Before you brought it up, I never saw the connection between inyouagain's absence and the collarme firestorms! I think you're right!

Inyouagain is such a hardass. God, I miss him.

January

_____________________________

[link: http://www.bookstrand.com/miss-you-sir] Miss You, Sir by January Rowe is available from Siren now! It's my latest smokin' hot bdsm romance.[/link]

(in reply to sub4hire)

Post #: 17

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