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Being a slave = no longer human? - 3/27/2008 9:14:36 AM

mtl1466

Posts: 11
Joined: 7/30/2005
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I know that probably isnt the best heading for this but its the only one I can think of at the time.

Theres a fair number of doms who wish to own a slave, tpe 24/7/365. Now being a sub that sounds good on the outside, but looking further into it I realized something...Do you just simply pack up move to your doms place and its that simple? I don't think so what about the job that you had, or the degree which you worked so hard to get only to now be a slave, plus its not like you can invite your family and friends over anymore and explain the scenario. I guess what Im trying to ask is, how can you transition to being a slave when youre entire life youve been essentially "free."

Post #: 1

RE: Being a slave = no longer human? - 3/27/2008 9:27:52 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
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I am unsure what you are questioning? Do you believe all s-types are the ones to move and give up everything?
Because that just isn't entirely true.

the.dark.

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RE: Being a slave = no longer human? - 3/27/2008 9:33:06 AM

OmegaG

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Joined: 10/23/2007
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I am packing up and moving. My degree is in polisci which qualifies me to get a job as a secretary. Sure I've got a job that pays well yada, yada, but I never wanted it for a career anyway and I knew for day one of our interactions that I was more transient then he was.

Family visitations would have far more to do with personal preference, I'd think. I presume that a Master who takes on a slave who is close to her family and sees them often would want to continue that practice to maintain the slaves happiness.

And in all honesty, I can't imagine except in fantasy someone who would be naked and in chains 24/7. I don't see why letting others in the house would be a big deal.

And freedom is subjective.

_____________________________

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RE: Being a slave = no longer human? - 3/27/2008 9:47:39 AM

SteelofUtah

Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mtl1466

I know that probably isnt the best heading for this but its the only one I can think of at the time.

Theres a fair number of doms who wish to own a slave, tpe 24/7/365. Now being a sub that sounds good on the outside, but looking further into it I realized something...Do you just simply pack up move to your doms place and its that simple? I don't think so what about the job that you had, or the degree which you worked so hard to get only to now be a slave, plus its not like you can invite your family and friends over anymore and explain the scenario. I guess what Im trying to ask is, how can you transition to being a slave when youre entire life youve been essentially "free."

Hi!

Okay lets break this down.

First YOU as the sub CHOOSE who YOU surrender to. That being said if you do not wish to disappear then don't choose a Dom who would expect you to disappear.

Your Fears are somewhat unfounded because there is a Bond that should be forged long before a collar is accepted or worn. This Bond is the Union you have forged, In this bond the two of you have decided what the roles will be and how they will work, if you will work and how you will work, Where the money will go, how much you will get to keep for savings each year, how things will work should you leave and how your relocation will be funded and then what kind of guarantee you have on those things.

Some people choose a contract because, although not Legal, it gives you the ability to say " Look you agreed to do this should This happen and all I want you to do is live up to your word. Which brings me to the second part. KNOW YOUR DOM'S WORD!!!!!! What is it worth, how often is it given, what does it mean to the Dom when it is broken or when someone elses word is broken to them. This will give you an idea of how secure this agreement is.

Finally TAKE RESPONSIBILITY!!!!!!!!!! I cannot stress this enough. Make sure it is understood that you need to have a "Plan B" that should things NOT work out for any reason you need to have a secure way to walk away clean, but on the same not this shoudl not be something you use to hold over your Dom's Head. It needs to be a Last Resort not a second Option and it needs to be protected against the Dom.

All of these things get talked about as NON-SURRENDER Concepts and I have seen people MIMIC thes ideas and make them NON-SURRENDER, but what they really are is Security and they should ONLY be used as such, they should nevber be used as leverage,

The real issue here in being "No Longer Human" is the integrity of the SUB not the Dom. If the sub sticks to thier guns and offeres themselves COMPLETELY but protects thier bottom line then they are showing integrity, when they give themselves patially and only because they know that should the Dom do something they don't like or want then they can just leave and talk shit then that sub is the reason that Dom's are so worried when it comes to those "Plan B"s because more times than not those Plan B's came back and Bit Dom's in the Ass.

You will only be Objectified as much as you allow yourself to be. It is a Choice you get in the VERY BEGINNING of the relationship. Know your wants and know your NEEDS and then negotiate them well before you accept a collar or agree to be property.

As Always

Steel

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RE: Being a slave = no longer human? - 3/27/2008 10:16:28 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
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The best way to make that transition is to find the appropriate owner for you after you're taken a good number of years to learn and experience and then get to know that person.

I think every single owner-slave dynamic I have ever known which I respect is based on reality. That means that the couple or family decides what works best in terms of Ds for them and them makes realistic rules, rituals, and expectations for everyone.

Meatlife is not like the porn and most of the erotica you read. Most 24/7 owner-slave dynamics will look amazingly mundane and loving to most people even if they don't have a clue about the authority dynamic.

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RE: Being a slave = no longer human? - 3/27/2008 10:26:30 AM

colouredin

Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
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Question mtl

Why cant the s type keep their career? I mean not all 24/7 M/s tpe (and any other term you wanna use) means that the s type isnt allowed to work, in fact I have seen many Dominants that say that is a requirement, surely it depends on what the individuals want from the relationship. that 'freedom' is relative and if the person wants it then um whats wrong with that? You are applying a value judgement (thats my term of the week) to the idea of career and degree and whatnot why is that any more fullfilling than staying at home?

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RE: Being a slave = no longer human? - 3/27/2008 10:34:54 AM

LilMissHaven

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Joined: 12/19/2007
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As everyone's pointed out its important to communicate.

At first I was a (what I'd call house slave), my job was to clean, cook and look pretty. Now there is only so many times a person can clean a house before they start daydreaming about burning it down. I told my X Master that if I had to clean one more clean room to stay busy I was going to hang myself from a doorknob or something. And he allowed me to get a job that fit around his own work schedule so that I still had time to get my chores done before he got home so I would be available to him on his downtime.

Communicate your need, if your speaking to someone who doesn't respect your need for security or for a purpose other then use then perhaps your speaking to the wrong person.

_____________________________

I must first learn to master myself, before I can truly be owned by one.

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RE: Being a slave = no longer human? - 3/27/2008 11:06:06 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mtl1466

I know that probably isnt the best heading for this but its the only one I can think of at the time.

Theres a fair number of doms who wish to own a slave, tpe 24/7/365. Now being a sub that sounds good on the outside, but looking further into it I realized something...Do you just simply pack up move to your doms place and its that simple? I don't think so what about the job that you had, or the degree which you worked so hard to get only to now be a slave, plus its not like you can invite your family and friends over anymore and explain the scenario. I guess what Im trying to ask is, how can you transition to being a slave when youre entire life youve been essentially "free."

Why can't I invite my friends and family over? Our friends and family come over all the time (I know the nick says sub but things have changed a lot since I made this nick). Most of our friends know exactly how we live our life and his parents also know exactly we live our life. My parents have been told that I prefer a man in charge and so they know what they need to know - that he makes the rules. They have heard me call him Sir. Some of our close friends, friends who wouldn't mind or be embaressed, have seen him strike me across the face or I've had to stand in a corner and he freely calls me "girl" in public.

For that matter, why can't I have a job if he doesn't mind or he desires it? We plan on me working.

Edited to add: I'm not sure if you realize this but most 24/7 couples lead rather boring and normal looking lives. We watch TV, cook dinner, feed the ducks, go hang out with our friends. Sadly, I have yet to go about in silks and bells. I think that would be kinda fun.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 3/27/2008 11:17:02 AM >

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RE: Being a slave = no longer human? - 3/27/2008 11:09:57 AM

akisha

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Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline

Being a slave does not mean you are naked and chained with in the house 23 hours a day, only taken out an hour a day for excercise *S*

Every relationship has their own dynamic. Some slaves work, some don't,

Most M/s relationships look pretty normal from the outside and in teh face or reality we all no how to behave infront of our "normal" friends and family.

My mother asked me how much control og my life i'm going to hand over to my bf/Dom. I said, as much as we both agree we are comfortable with. Simpe as that.

There is no hard and fast rule about what a slave's life is like.

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RE: Being a slave = no longer human? - 3/27/2008 12:45:51 PM

Semos

Posts: 21
Joined: 3/23/2008
Status: offline

When you see a professional Domme or Dom, you are paying for whatever reason to experience something you need or want, be it toilet use, stomped on, whatever. That is where it begins and ends most likely

I see the D/s or M/s as a completely different dynamic and the kink side of it only comes in as icing on the cake lets say, and maybe not for all. Maybe we shouldn't call it Dominance and Submission, maybe we should use North Pole, South Pole. Simple physics already dictates opposites attract, and in all facets of our society there are leaders and followers. Were you get the two doing just that, you usually find a fine oiled machine working at peak performance.

Akisha probably exemplifies this point the best, as at the end of the day, we need to be human beings to one another no matter what play aspect we bring into our life, evidenced by LilMissHaven not wanted to clean an already clean room, just to be controlled or tormented.

Ok, I'm back on the floor now

(in reply to akisha)

Post #: 10

RE: Being a slave = no longer human? - 3/27/2008 3:16:46 PM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

For me I have more freedom with my Sir than I ever had alone. He encourages me do try new crafts, he takes me to the bookstore and buys me books, he bought me my laptop, and isn't upset when I spend hours on it. Hell, he doesn't even insist that I keep the house immaculate. But he is SO my dom.
I work full time to finance other responsibilities, so I don't/can't even contribute to the finances of the house, other than decorating, kitchen and food purchases.

I went from a control freak to this man, and couldn't be happier in my servitude. He holds my reins with a very light hand, and I love him for it. We have rules, and he sometimes grippes because I am too "good". I don't break them enough so he can punish me for it. So , he has to fall back on " just because I can". hehehe .

and essentially free to do what? Be afraid because that is the way I was programed as a kid, free to be alone and have to deal with the dead rat (story behind that ), free to always have to be the one to have the anwers, be in control of my self or be responsible. I have more freedom now than I ever did in a vanilla society. I can be the sensual, sexual woman I thought I had to hide because nice women weren't that way. I can say -" if it pleases you Sir" when I am not keen on something and my Sir knows exactly how I feel about it, and if he goes ahead that is fine with me - because I have communicated very clearly with him . I don't have to be afraid that my Sir will reject me because of who I am because he knows me as well as anyone I have ever known.

For me slavery is freedom.

(in reply to Semos)

Post #: 11

RE: Being a slave = no longer human? - 3/27/2008 3:50:16 PM

Bound2One

Posts: 614
Joined: 1/11/2008
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You've already gotten some great replies that I can't add much to, except to reinforce that you should be very sure and confident of your relationship before making a 24/7 commitment. I think it's something that a relationship grows into, rather than something that happens from the start. It takes time to grow together and develop the dynamic into something 24/7. YMMV, of course.

(in reply to mtl1466)

Post #: 12

RE: Being a slave = no longer human? - 3/27/2008 4:01:02 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

You seem to have a lot of ideas about what Ds and Ms are in every day life- while some may in fact resemble those, do not make the mistake of thinking they are all like that.

90% of the time, Ms relationships look just like vanilla ones.

And don't forget, there are people in the scene whose parents themselves are kinky and in the scene.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

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RE: Being a slave = no longer human? - 3/27/2008 5:25:09 PM

Twicehappy2x

Posts: 1096
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

Meatlife is not like the porn and most of the erotica you read. Most 24/7 owner-slave dynamics will look amazingly mundane and loving to most people even if they don't have a clue about the authority dynamic.

AMEN!!!!

I think our very straight yet strangely very accepting of us neighbor once said it best, " You three sound like an old married couple only there are more of you".

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The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

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RE: Being a slave = no longer human? - 3/27/2008 6:23:42 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mtl1466

I know that probably isnt the best heading for this but its the only one I can think of at the time.

Theres a fair number of doms who wish to own a slave, tpe 24/7/365. Now being a sub that sounds good on the outside, but looking further into it I realized something...Do you just simply pack up move to your doms place and its that simple? I don't think so what about the job that you had, or the degree which you worked so hard to get only to now be a slave, plus its not like you can invite your family and friends over anymore and explain the scenario. I guess what Im trying to ask is, how can you transition to being a slave when youre entire life youve been essentially "free."

24/7 can be either/or/as well as temporal/spatial/psychological.
Moving the furniture doesn't make the dynamic 24/7
In bdsm and non bdsm contexts slaves are tythed for life whereveer their master chooses to roam.

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RE: Being a slave = no longer human? - 3/27/2008 6:55:10 PM

ophelialocke

Posts: 127
Joined: 9/2/2007
Status: offline

Do you want to no longer = human?
You may find someone to explore this with.
Do you want to = human?
You may find someone to explore other things with.
Do you want to sometimes not = human.
You may find someone to explore this with, sometimes...
slave not = no options.

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Post #: 16

RE: Being a slave = no longer human? - 3/27/2008 7:39:16 PM

warmdomination12

Posts: 20
Joined: 4/18/2007
Status: offline

It's an interesting question. It really depends on the individuals involved.
Some people are very deep in the scene and actually live a lifestyle that the slave may be sold to another master, and all parties are willing partakers.
Some even subscribe to a gimp lifestyle----not sure how much time they really spend with family.

Others, like myself, 24-7 means women in my house submitting their bodies to me, and basically wrapping their lives around me, everyday, all year long while they are with me. That doesnt mean they are naked in chains 24-7.

Obviously in the last example, you still have friends and talk with your family when you want to. If your family visits, its up to you how you explain everything. Boyfriend, girlfriend, roommate, live in housekeeper.........whatever.

(in reply to mtl1466)

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RE: Being a slave = no longer human? - 3/27/2008 7:55:32 PM

joy2u

Posts: 89
Joined: 2/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mtl1466

I know that probably isnt the best heading for this but its the only one I can think of at the time.

Agreed. This was not the best heading for this post. Since when does packing up and moving mean that you're not human? Many people have jobs that require them to move frequently. Ask anyone who's been in the military. i have moved about every 3 years for most of my life. First, because my dad's job, building interstate highways in the 60's, moved us from place to place and then, my job in the Army required me to move from one duty station to another, including overseas and back several times.

Certainly, to me, being able to be in the most fulfilling relationship i have ever known is as good a reason to pack-up and move as a job is.

Just over 2 years ago, i packed-up and moved from GA to NC to move-in with my Master and begin a 24/7/365 TPE relationship with Him. Now, for the first time in my life, i finally feel as though i have a real home.

There has never been a time when friends and family were unwelcome or unable to drop-in for a visit. Last year, He and i moved into His mother's home to take care of her when she became very ill and needed round-the-clock care. The private stuff that He and i do is private. And, life is more than that.

The education and job experience that i have is being put to good use serving my Master's needs. The fulfillment and contentment that i have, now that i have found my place in this world and i am able to carry-out what i feel my purpose is, has given me a great sense of freedom. The years i spent working in the business world and 'acting' like an 'independent' career woman made me feel trapped, lonely, out of place and, unfulfilled.

Each person needs to decide, for themself, what it is that they need to live a fulfilled life and then, do what's necessary to make it happen. For me, that meant seeking a Master who was wanting and needing what i had to offer Him and who could give me the life i was in need of and then, once finding Him, moving to be with Him. It was really just that 'simple', if you want to call it that.

joy
Owned servant of Master David

quote:

Theres a fair number of doms who wish to own a slave, tpe 24/7/365. Now being a sub that sounds good on the outside, but looking further into it I realized something...Do you just simply pack up move to your doms place and its that simple? I don't think so what about the job that you had, or the degree which you worked so hard to get only to now be a slave, plus its not like you can invite your family and friends over anymore and explain the scenario. I guess what Im trying to ask is, how can you transition to being a slave when youre entire life youve been essentially "free."

< Message edited by joy2u -- 3/27/2008 7:58:10 PM >

(in reply to mtl1466)

Post #: 18

RE: Being a slave = no longer human? - 3/27/2008 8:50:51 PM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mtl1466
Do you just simply pack up move to your doms place and its that simple?

Pretty much. I didn't do it overnight but did do it though He considered moving to my area. Frankly, the unemployment was just too high there and both of us could have good jobs in the area in which He lived.

quote:

I don't think so what about the job that you had, or the degree which you worked so hard to get only to now be a slave

I have a better job now, making quite a bit more $$$. Those degrees I earned are coming in very useful and we're planning for me to go back for my master's degree soon.

quote:

plus its not like you can invite your family and friends over anymore and explain the scenario

Hmmmm. That's strange. We do and we don't "explain" anything any more than they do when we visit them. We don't discuss all the intimacies of each others' lives, especially sexual intimacies. Our dynamic is very much like my vanilla parents had for 33 years. I respect and honor Him, serve Him, defer to Him on all matters. Nothing to explain there. They can dig that.

quote:

I guess what Im trying to ask is, how can you transition to being a slave when youre entire life youve been essentially "free."

There have been many transitions, just no bad or negative ones. I was free, now I've even freer and happier than I ever dreamed. Nothing about Him or our life has made me "less than" what I was before. I've got all that and much, more more

....................luci

_____________________________

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Post #: 19

RE: Being a slave = no longer human? - 3/27/2008 11:39:46 PM

hisannabelle

Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline

greetings mtl1466,

this is something i've been coming to terms with lately due to finally being able to look at long-term planning and where master and i will be in 10 years. i've always kind of taken it for granted that he supports what i do and what i want to do with my life. i LOVE what i do. love, love, love. but at the same time, i am beginning to realize that i could also love other things as well; i could love having children and being a stay at home mother, which would be a very different path considering my future of university gypsy-hood isn't exactly conducive to child-rearing. i could love staying at home most of the time and taking care of my master and having a job that really isn't what i want/plan to do with my life.

that said, as others have mentioned, being a slave doesn't necessarily mean being chained up 23 hours of the day. i work and go to school. he works. we have separate households, for now. he supports me working and going to school and takes an active interest in my life, as i do in his. eventually we plan to live together, and for now at least i plan to continue on with the path i've been on career-wise.

this is kind of unrelated to the topic of the post, but the title touched on something i think is really important to talk about when discussing what it means to be a slave, or what it means to be property - and that is the idea that it somehow makes you "subhuman." i realize that not everyone subscribes to an idea of ownership/property, but i've never understood why being property implies so often not being human. i'm a possession, like a chair or a table, but that doesn't mean i'm also not a human being, with all the complexities that that implies. because i'm property doesn't mean that i am no longer human.

as far as family and friends go...i'm pretty open about things. if it comes up for whatever reason, it comes up. those that know me either know about it already, or know enough about me to know that i'm just weird in general and this is another one of my quirks. if they don't like it, well, that's their problem. of course, i do have the (luxury? curse?) of being completely self-sufficient, so i don't have to maintain relationships with any of my family, and most of them have chosen not to speak to me at all, so my closest family now are my adopted friends, who pretty much like me as i am to begin with. but really. if you are a consenting adult, and your family and friends care about you, something like this shouldn't matter that much.

just some random thoughts.

respectfully,
annabelle.

< Message edited by hisannabelle -- 3/27/2008 11:42:05 PM >

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i have the kind of beauty that moves...

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