RE: When are you calling it quits

RE: When are you calling it quits (Full Version)

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TemptingNviceSub -> RE: When are you calling it quits (3/27/2008 9:37:12 PM)
Why quit???...I simply do not understand that concept....Is there an X time that says..time to stop??I have a happy, fulfilled life..I am who I am....to stop means...stop being me?? stop striving for more in my life?? stop growing,seeking,learning?? stop finding joy in the possibility??..all I can say is X time will more than likely be when I am 6 feet under, and maybe not even then!..depending on your beliefs in the hereafter....Tempting

Alacrity -> RE: When are you calling it quits (3/28/2008 11:28:20 AM)
After desperately seeking someone to connect to, and finding others that met my absence of standards, I quit lowering my standards. Still go to play parties and have some very good friends in the scene. Better to be out of a relationship than in a bad one. Still looking, but OK where I'm at. Have no plan to stop looking, though I may take breaks from this site.

littleone35 -> RE: When are you calling it quits (3/28/2008 12:52:07 PM)
I don't think i would ever call it quits it makes me happy. I was a happy person before i met my Master he just makes me happier. I tink if i lost him i would fall to peices but i would pick up the peices and move on but it would be very hard. Matt's littleone

Wolfie138 -> RE: When are you calling it quits (3/28/2008 1:02:58 PM)
Speaking as a dom, i've called it quits already. why? cos no one's interested in me. you keep trying for xxx amount of time, but then there's a point where i think you've just got to accept it isn't going to happen. quit "the scene" recently then resigned up here in a total non-looking frame of mind just to see what's going on. and again, all i get is spam mail and a dense moron who's agenda here seems to be to send condescending comments out to people. i understand all these "why give up" comments and where you're coming from in saying that, but to be honest, what's the point? it just gets too disheartening to keep checking in to see empty mailboxes etc, and i've got more constructive things to do with my time. hey, it's their loss... ;-D

Gleegal67 -> RE: When are you calling it quits (3/28/2008 1:16:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHathor *you don't have a Dominant, can't seem to connect with one, or well, are of the age that pickings are slim--* *when are you calling it quits?* *how are you handling it?* *what will you do for the rest of your life?* *If at all...* Maybe directing your passions to other venues might assist you more during this time period. Maybe obtaining more education within the community, being an educator or assistant, volunteer at the local bdsm clubs/venues/munches, volunteering for NCSF (National Coalition for Sexual Freedom), instead of "calling it quits." I have taken breaks from the bdsm community/relationships at various times of my adulthood, for various reasons, slim pickens, too much travel for business, raising a son, etc... I have always enjoyed those breaks because I knew those were times of my life that I needed to direct my energies to within and to other priorities. It was another chance for growth in ways I didn't know...and that is always exciting...and a little scary! Honestly, I don't think we can ever really quit part of what enriches our soul. If you do try, you're causing an unnecessary chaos with yourself, and that's never healthy, let alone fun! Think there is a 12-Step Program for BDSM? I sure hope there never is one!!

petdave -> RE: When are you calling it quits (3/29/2008 10:47:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TemptingNviceSub Why quit???...I simply do not understand that concept....Is there an X time that says..time to stop?? Not a time on the clock, but a time on your soul... after a while you just say enough, that's all i can take, i've lost, i get it, i give up... then you figure out what comes next.

leakylee -> RE: When are you calling it quits (3/30/2008 12:52:49 AM)
Actually I was semi-close (if that counts as a word) the last couple of years. A nasty break-up. Coming back home. Dealing with alot of family illness, and uproar can take its toll, but to heck with it. Shoot just in the last month (yeah yeah i dont it aint much) getting my butt out and into the local community has kinda reenginized me. I am playing again. The social outlet, I adore. Shoot the rest, it will come. Life is a work in progress. night lee

Goddess2002 -> RE: When are you calling it quits (3/30/2008 3:36:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19 I am complete whole and perfect right now as I move forward into greater expressions of self. With or without a Dominant. Edited to say: This is meant as a positive affirmation to all. Without a Dominant can be changed to suit your needs. Beautifully said! Bravo!

TysGalilah -> RE: When are you calling it quits (3/30/2008 5:02:08 AM)
I hope I don't ever quit myself. I have been through tougher things than "not having someone to be in love with or to submit to" and didn't quit livin. I believe we get back similar energy to what we put out there......if I think I won't succeed, most likely I won't. If I am searching for someone to make* me happy, I will most likely find someone who is needing someone else to NEED them.... And how can two needy/unhappy people make a healthy relationship??* I love being with people. I love being in love and giving love. I love serving and submitting and feeling my strengths. I can be inspired by another to feel my strengths and have been inspired to find my happiness and fulfillment>>>yet,having said that>> one important lesson I have learned is that my most secure sense of happiness and fulfillment has come from within me. It was always there, I didn't need to have someone elses in order to have mine. Cyndi

youngsubgeoff -> RE: When are you calling it quits (3/30/2008 5:13:25 AM)
I have already called it quits on trying to find a domme. Its too damn frustrating. I have buried what I once considred a beautiful dream, amidst a world of lies. Im not saying it cant happen, but it seems not for me. Im sticking around to help the newbies, however, because so many of them are scared off because of one user in the scene.

Griswold -> RE: When are you calling it quits (3/30/2008 5:14:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHathor *you don't have a Dominant, can't seem to connect with one, or well, are of the age that pickings are slim--* *when are you calling it quits?* 2:27 p.m., August 26th, 2011.

Gemini1766 -> RE: When are you calling it quits (3/30/2008 5:15:50 AM)
young, keep in mind that there are 10 subs to each Domme, generally speaking. You have to be able to sell yourself well enough to get the attention of the kind of Domme you hope to find. Best of luck to you. Gem.

DiurnalVampire -> RE: When are you calling it quits (3/30/2008 5:17:15 AM)
It seems every time * call it quits, I meet someone fantastic. AFter the divorce, I gave up on finding someone in the lifestyle for a host of reasons. I met Angel. After I moved here and our relationship changed and opened, I gave up on finding someone compatible who could accept that Angel wasnt going anywhere and be involved with me regardless. I met Fox. Seems to me, the harder you look the less you find, so maybe calling it quits and letting something come to you might not be a terrible thing. DV

kittensangel -> RE: When are you calling it quits (3/30/2008 6:10:41 AM)
Honeslty why quit, i have talked to many who wanted quit cause they were not finding anyone, and they are tired of being alone. Serously by quitting all you are doing is giving into it. One needs to consider how they are going into something. If you are going into it like i am going to find the perfect mate then you are bound to be let down. If you go into as if you are only looking for people to chat to or be friends with without play then at some point, When you least expect it the one you are looking for will show up somewhere.

youngsubgeoff -> RE: When are you calling it quits (3/30/2008 6:13:27 AM)
Gemini, basically Ive stopped because its just a pain in the ass. Right now, Im seeing a local gal, she knows about my interest in bdsm and all. Im staying involved w/ the local scene, Im just not looking for anyone.

Sylphid -> RE: When are you calling it quits (3/30/2008 7:27:09 AM)
I do agree with you, many people never really leave or give up, you can have 'breaks', periods where you reassess your priorities and ponder over what has gone wrong/right in previous relationships but you never really leave... quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross Considering 90% of those who "call it quits" end up coming back and looking dorkier than before... I think people who call it quits because they can't get into the relationship are blaming the kink rather than seriously looking within. Fulfillment comes within- no matter what lifestyle you get into. I will never quit being me, though perhaps ME might change.

Semos -> RE: When are you calling it quits (3/30/2008 8:26:57 AM)
Submissives/Slaves or whatever you want to call yourself have to understand one thing, the likelyhood of finding a woman that wants to be dominant as to your criteria is next to zero. Therefore, quitting is probably a pretty good idea so you don't drive yourself nuts. I removed my profile from here, not because I quit, but because the site provided me with the fortification that I needed to understand, am I on the right track or not? I've read dozens of forum posts and profiles and know for a fact that going out and genuinely being for the woman has a 90% chance of success. So if you think the woman of your dreams is wearing 4" heels and dressed in fetish gear most of the day and barking orders, you might as well quit right now and find a Pro Domme, because the one you are looking for is at a library, coffee shop, in the park walking or reading a book. Sex, BDSM, role playing are all symptoms of a healthy, mutual relationship, not a precipitant. So for those of you that are quitting, all I can say is your doing it wrong. Sorry Lady Hathor, I don't mean to derail your thread and turn it into something else, but in context, I think it's important to understand, why we are quitting is more important than the actual act. So for the quitters on both sides, (yes there are Dommes throwing in the towel too) guys, quit objectifying ladies and women quit using sex as a vice or tool and I would suspect the success rates for interaction on any and all levels will increase to near 100%. Now for those of you that are getting ready to flame me, YES, there are execptions and if doing what you're doing is working for you no matter the circumstances good for you. I don't mean that in a condesending way either. In all facets of life there are minorities, and if it works for you then great. What I've depictied above seems to have a commonality or maybe even ubiquitious amongst all sites.

Missokyst -> RE: When are you calling it quits (3/30/2008 9:56:36 AM)
Wow... I cannot imagine a life where things just didn't move on one way or another. I have been divorced since I was 25, never remarried and yet I have been pretty content. I have been in long term relationships, both nilla and bdsm, and even doing over a decade in complete celibacy, and life just moves on. I am basically ok with me, even though I am still the insecure female I have always been. And.. I am old. I don't plan to stop learning new things until I can't go on. I don't plan to lock myself away (and in fact I battle agorophobia all the time), I make myself get out there! Sometimes I will seek things out, and sometimes life chooses things for me. I like it that way. It makes for pleasant surprises along the way. And sometimes unexpected lessons to aid in my constant need to learn new things. Nothing is over for me until life fades from my eyes. Kyst

faithfulfemme -> RE: When are you calling it quits (3/30/2008 10:45:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHathor *you don't have a Dominant, can't seem to connect with one, or well, are of the age that pickings are slim--* *when are you calling it quits?* *how are you handling it?* *what will you do for the rest of your life?* *If at all...* i am asking myself these very questions. i am a StoneFemme who is into StoneButch Doms. As there are very few StoneButch Doms available, much less single ones, even in a good year, my dating pool is about the size of my bathroom sink. Throw into this mix i'm almost 60, and opportunities just don't come by often. I'm not saying i'll lay down and die if i quit the leather world, of course not. i've got other things to sustain me than bdsm; it's just that i feel so much more fulfilled when i'm in a D/s relationship. However, i'm just getting to a point where i'm thinking maybe it would be better to put away the toys, and go vanilla. i haven't yet come to a decision about this one way or another; for right now i'm simply coasting along letting these thoughts steep in my mind for a bit. The best way will eventually show itself, if i watch for the signs, or so i hope.

SirMIkeSD -> RE: When are you calling it quits (3/30/2008 11:09:22 AM)
Sometimes you just need to suck it up and take a good look into yourself and then make a soild effort to put yourself outthere. Mike

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