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RE: Love... - 3/27/2008 6:06:33 PM   
darchChylde


Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressVnus

quote:

I'm glad read that :)


ACK!!  I "pasted" a quote from another thread, accidentally!!  LOL  About the Amazonian thing.  *shakinghead*



i just pretended not to notice, and took it as my skills as a cunning linguist.


_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to MistressVnus)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Love... - 3/27/2008 6:16:01 PM   
MistressVnus


Posts: 1036
Joined: 1/4/2008
From: Central Florida
Status: offline
quote:

once in a way


Well, there ya go.  Now I don't feel so bad.  LOL


_____________________________

In the ties that bind,
Mistress Venus
http://www.mistressvenus.com

"I'm not IN the lifestyle. The lifestyle is in Me!"

(in reply to Daddysredhead)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Love... - 3/27/2008 8:38:23 PM   
Wickad


Posts: 428
Joined: 3/12/2005
Status: offline 		(fast reply)

Greetings,

I think that many D/s couples love each other in a romantic sense.  I think this is great if it works for them.

I don't think that being loved is as important as loving someone.  If the main reason to be in a realtionship is that someone love you ... well, maybe you should start by loving yourself.

All that being said ... I do not want to love my slave.  I will feel affection for him and want the very best for him always, but it will not be a romantic type of love.  This is obviously not the type of relationship that everyone would seek but ... each person has to be true to themselves and this is being true to what I want.

Wickad

(in reply to MistressVnus)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Love... - 3/27/2008 8:56:15 PM   
chezzy52


Posts: 220
Joined: 6/26/2007
Status: offline 		Love.....is a many splendored thing...you'll need a 1950's thinking cap for that one.

(in reply to Wickad)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Love... - 3/27/2008 10:43:15 PM   
KindLadyGrey


Posts: 358
Joined: 11/6/2007
Status: offline 		I am so glad I'm not the only sap in the room. I'm in it for love all the way, and I can absolutely love a submissive. Submission is a wonderful gift that in no way lessens my respect for a person, and in no way lessens my ability to love.

I may love too easily, but that is another topic all together.

(in reply to Daddysredhead)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Love... - 3/27/2008 11:55:53 PM   
Reigna


Posts: 334
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline 		I've played with plenty of people who didn't love me, and vice versa. What I have now--romantic love with all the trappings--is much better. I recommend it heartily.


< Message edited by Reigna -- 3/27/2008 11:56:25 PM >

(in reply to KindLadyGrey)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Love... - 3/28/2008 12:15:11 AM   
TheLaughingDomme


Posts: 48
Joined: 1/20/2008
Status: offline 		Am I just too 'soft' to think that mutual respect, building trust, and exploring boundaries is going to lead to some type of love or at least deep-rooted caring? Go by what your heart tells you, not a protocol! XO

(in reply to Daddysredhead)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Love... - 3/28/2008 2:35:29 AM   
Goddess2002


Posts: 226
Joined: 2/29/2008
Status: offline 		I admit that I struggle with my feelings of love for My slave...I do love him deeply but I hate the fact that this makes me vulnerable to my emotions. It would be much easier for me just to dominate him and be done with it, but then I wouldn't enjoy it nearly as much because I would miss the emotional connection.

(in reply to Daddysredhead)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Love... - 3/28/2008 7:01:01 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		I think that it is easier and more common for the person in the submissive role to "fall in love" perhaps because they open themselves up more when they submit early on in the dynamic. The dominant may open up more over time and develop feelings over time but that varies from person to person.

One big problem I've heard of repeatedly from other tops/dominants but never experienced myself is that if loving feelings develop, the Ds and SM aspects fade. Guilt for hurting someone you love is often cited. I think that reflects the internal issues of that dominant myself -- the idea that SM and Ds is innately non-loving. I think experience and confronting that type of thinking head on can help with that problem.

I have the opposite experience. The more I love someone, the more I feel like controlling them, dominating them and hurting them. The more natural all of that seems to feel to me and flow from me.

However, not all subs fall in love and a couple of good friends of mine are a good example of that. A leathermen couple who had been together as master and slave for 8 years that I know had a bit of a crisis when the master told his slave that he loved him. It took about a year for them to work through the conflict in the slave that loving him meant not being his master as he wanted. They decided to start doing more SM (the slave is not a masochist) as a way to reassure the slave that he was still a slave and the master could still say "I love you". I think over time the slave developed the ability to say "I love you, Sir" back. All this was 5 years ago and they are still going strong.

In short it can work out -- love and owner-slave or 24/7 dynamic -- but it will vary widely and may take time to develop.

< Message edited by thetammyjo -- 3/28/2008 7:02:43 AM >

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to cool123)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Love... - 3/28/2008 7:22:34 AM   
TheLaughingDomme


Posts: 48
Joined: 1/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

I have the opposite experience. The more I love someone, the more I feel like controlling them, dominating them and hurting them. The more natural all of that seems to feel to me and flow from me.
quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

Exactly how I feel - it's not something across the board with every person you control, but when that dynamic develops.....well, eighteen years later, this in itself has kept me around!

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Love... - 3/28/2008 7:25:25 AM   
MaamJay


Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline 		i love Master and i am in love with Him ... He loves violet and is in love with violet. W/we are a primary couple. When (thinking positively) I find a sub for My Domme side, I would very much hope to feel love for him and that he would feel genuine love for Me. Whether or not W/we would fall romantically in love also ... I can't be sure. I don't preclude it but I don't necessarily expect it. I know that I am capable of loving many ... whether I can be equally "in love" with more than one ... I don't know yet. But for Me, there has to be some love. Heck, I love My friends (whether they call Me or not), I love My pets (whether they piddle on the floor or not!) ... why on earth would I not love a sub or slave who does so much good for Me?

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Love... - 3/28/2008 7:25:58 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Where is Barney when you need him.

(in reply to TheLaughingDomme)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Love... - 3/28/2008 7:35:47 AM   
GoddessTeaze


Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cool123

Can a Dominant Woman loves her slave/sub? Does it necessarily leads to vanilla? Could a Woman loves a man and remain her slave?

I want to be my Lady's slave... but I want her to love me and value my submission as well!

Without love,
it's very empty.
So it's a No Go without Love.

I wish you goodluck in finding Her,
and experiance the beauty of total submission.

Warm Greetingz

GoddezzT`


_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to cool123)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Love... - 3/28/2008 12:10:08 PM   
Macslittleimp


Posts: 50
Joined: 4/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: darchChylde

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressVnus

quote:

before his mouth gets him into trouble*


ROFLMAO...Since when, EXACTLY, has that ever stopped you???



Four words:  "Midgets make everything better."

For further details, ask Macslittleimp.



HAHAHAHA  you will never live that one down my pet.  I promise!!!!

_____________________________

"It's the submissives that show to others what type of Dom owns them." - Anonymous

(in reply to darchChylde)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Love... - 3/28/2008 12:36:16 PM   
darchChylde


Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Macslittleimp
Four words:  "Midgets make everything better."

For further details, ask Macslittleimp.



HAHAHAHA  you will never live that one down my pet.  I promise!!!!


It's been months Ma'am, i've absolutely given up on the idea that i'll ever be living anything down



_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to Macslittleimp)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Love... - 3/28/2008 4:55:34 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TheLaughingDomme

quote:

I have the opposite experience. The more I love someone, the more I feel like controlling them, dominating them and hurting them. The more natural all of that seems to feel to me and flow from me.
quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

Exactly how I feel - it's not something across the board with every person you control, but when that dynamic develops.....well, eighteen years later, this in itself has kept me around!



Not sure of the point of these two quotes from me back to back....

Care to explain, TheLaughingDomme?

< Message edited by thetammyjo -- 3/28/2008 4:56:26 PM >

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to TheLaughingDomme)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Love... - 3/28/2008 4:57:47 PM   
TheLaughingDomme


Posts: 48
Joined: 1/20/2008
Status: offline 		Hit quote twice- the second are my words -------------------------------------

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Love... - 3/28/2008 5:40:31 PM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		I love all my dogs... wheither they have 4 legs or only 2.

(in reply to TheLaughingDomme)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Love... - 3/28/2008 7:51:44 PM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cool123


D/s relationships happen every which way: without love, with love, with the type of love one has for a pet, with the type of love one has for romantic companion. Each person is free to generally define how they wish for their relationship to be, and those who enter into a relationship then define their brand of BDSM.

I am the sum of the different parts that make me. The masochistic part of me might enjoy BDSM that is without love. However, this part is superceded by the part that seeks romantic companionship and I seek my long-term relationship to be one that is a romantic BDSM relationship.

I think love is more likely to soften the BDSM dynamic than not.

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to cool123)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Love... - 3/28/2008 9:33:51 PM   
LaMistressa


Posts: 460
Joined: 12/4/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chezzy52

Love.....is a many splendored thing...you'll need a 1950's thinking cap for that one.


"Love is a fiery thing, and it makes a burning ring" - no, wait, that's anal....

As for the OP, in my experience love is possible in many different permutations, including a Dominant/Top/what have you loving a slave/sub/bottom/what have you. It isn't always there (or always necessary), but sometimes it finds you.



(in reply to chezzy52)
Profile   Post #: 40
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