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How do You gain perspective - 3/28/2008 1:06:22 AM

Kalista07

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I've been living up here with Him for about 2 months now. Things have been going great!! i truly don't think i could ask for anything better to happen......................................... and yet.........................................................................................
it's 3 am and i can't sleep..This hasn't happened to me since i moved up here. i also can not get out of my head. Which means, i'm condemned to judge myself by my thoughts (and some actions) alone.
i'm hoping i'm not the only one out here who has done something like this. My question is how do You put things back into perspective? How do You acurately assess whether You totally suck as a human being or not?
Thanks for reading this,
Kali

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“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”
~~Sweedish Proverb

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RE: How do You gain perspective - 3/28/2008 2:52:47 AM

meatcleaver

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If things are great, what are you worrying about and why do you need things back in perspective?

If he's smacking you around the room until you are battered and bruised and you think its great, then, yeah, you need to get some perspective on things.

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There are fascists who consider themselves humanitarians, like cannibals on a health kick, eating only vegetarians.

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RE: How do You gain perspective - 3/28/2008 3:17:09 AM

Level

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07

I've been living up here with Him for about 2 months now. Things have been going great!! i truly don't think i could ask for anything better to happen......................................... and yet.........................................................................................
it's 3 am and i can't sleep..This hasn't happened to me since i moved up here. i also can not get out of my head. Which means, i'm condemned to judge myself by my thoughts (and some actions) alone.
i'm hoping i'm not the only one out here who has done something like this. My question is how do You put things back into perspective? How do You acurately assess whether You totally suck as a human being or not?
Thanks for reading this,
Kali

Good morning, Kali. Look at what makes a human being suck or not...... define those things, then ask yourself where you fall short or meet them. Feel good about the positive areas, and don't beat yourself up over the ones you find yourself lacking in, but make a plan of action to improve them.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

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RE: How do You gain perspective - 3/28/2008 4:56:47 AM

DesFIP

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Are you allowed to wake him up when you need to talk? Moving is stressful. You moved away from your family and friends and for the first few weeks it was like being on your honeymoon. Now the honeymoon is over and you don't have any of your comforts around you. You can't look forward to talking about Lost with the lady who gets you your coffee every morning. You can't look forward to stopping and having a drink with your best friend after work on Friday. Or going to the sale at your favorite boutique.

Even if the relationship is going great, you've lost a lot of other little things that helped. Plus you don't have time now to go out exploring and finding a new coffee shop to stop in, a couple of new, cute boutiques where they'll ring you when something that is just your style is due in, no time to take to make new friends to go to the movies with. You need to talk with him about that, about your need to build a support system that includes more than just him. And then go do it. Ask a coworker to join you for lunch. Take a class in Thai cooking, or join a knitting group, anything that may lead to new friendships.

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RE: How do You gain perspective - 3/28/2008 8:14:21 AM

LaTigresse

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For myself, I get involved in something completely outside of myself. Often times hard physical labour will do it. Sometimes it can be a nice long nature hike. Other times, volunteering with people that have alot bigger, more difficult issues than I do. Anything that causes me to look at my stuff from a completely different vantage point.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: How do You gain perspective - 3/28/2008 8:22:10 AM

lauren0221

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For me anyway, when I can't sleep - it's unexpressed thoughts and emotions. Are you holding things in? Are you sharing your doubts and fears with him?

And yes, LaT and Level have some excellent suggestions as well:)

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RE: How do You gain perspective - 3/28/2008 10:52:49 AM

KatyLied

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Can you find a way to make peace with yourself Even if it's just a promise to behave in a different manner moving forward. There are meditations for self-forgiveness, I find them to be helpful. You can't change the past, you can change the present and commit to trying to be different in the future.

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RE: How do You gain perspective - 3/28/2008 12:26:37 PM

angelikaJ

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Journalling

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RE: How do You gain perspective - 3/28/2008 3:18:16 PM

Level

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lauren0221

For me anyway, when I can't sleep - it's unexpressed thoughts and emotions. Are you holding things in? Are you sharing your doubts and fears with him?

And yes, LaT and Level have some excellent suggestions as well:)

*pertinent parts emphasized for posterity*

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

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RE: How do You gain perspective - 3/28/2008 4:35:52 PM

SL4V3M4YB3

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To gain perspective one must stand back and look at the bigger picture, compare it with the little picture and see if the proportions are the same.

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RE: How do You gain perspective - 3/29/2008 4:32:32 AM

Kalista07

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i just wanted to thank You all for sharing Your thoughts.

Kali

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“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”
~~Sweedish Proverb

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