RE: What atracts you to a Dom/me or turns you straight off? (Full Version)

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mnottertail -> RE: What atracts you to a Dom/me or turns you straight off? (4/12/2008 2:36:05 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

I like intelligence - but it has to be combined with a broad education. I don't like trying to explain literary references to common cultural icons.
A sense of humour that meshes with mine - more Monty Python than Benny Hill.
Self confidence and self worth are important. Can't be dominant if you don't have these.
More sensual than sexual - i love touch and play. Not that i don't like sex, but what do you do with the other 23 hours and 59 minutes? lol.
Must shower and brush teeth every day.
Must have health insurance.
the rest is gravy! [:)]



Well, that would broadly leave me in the class of purely fucked, if one of the MIB didn't say it and maxwell grant didn't write it in the shadow series, I wouldn't have a clue.

Ron



erebus -> RE: What atracts you to a Dom/me or turns you straight off? (4/12/2008 2:39:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

Turn offs
Third person self referential, no sense of humour, bad breath, patronising, obviously more interesting in my tits than anything coming out of my mouth.

but the aboslute hum dinger of a turn off

CALLING ME LITTLE ONE!!!! ... am 5 foot fricken 10 ... My ass is the size of a small car... I AM NOT LITTLE!!! metaphorically, literally, OR OTHERWISE

pants ... breathes... pants ... breathes ..... really needs to stop going to munches full of old men


Little One can be a term of endearment rather than a broad comment on one's actual size.  Haven't you ever heard of a 6' 5", 270 pound guy called 'Tiny'?



marieToo -> RE: What atracts you to a Dom/me or turns you straight off? (4/12/2008 2:56:28 PM)

Confidence and intelligence are what first attract me, and men who refuse to chase me. 

Turn-offs are guys who use common and rote lines like "I want your heart mind body and soul", or something like "Let's see where the journey takes us".  Or those total dorks who say shit like "Don't question me, little girl, I'm the Dom".  Also when a man's profile says he's well-endowed or honest I get turned off right away.  I'll also end a conversation if a man tells me he's not a sadist.  And the worse is if a man shows signs of being a romantic; that shit repels me immediately. 



Raechard -> RE: What atracts you to a Dom/me or turns you straight off? (4/12/2008 2:59:56 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: gallowmere
I consider myself very bright, and very witty, and when I find someone who easily beats me at my own little game, it will instantly get my attention.   

I'm not as good at snakes and ladders as I used to be but I'll give it a go[8|]



midgetmafiosa -> RE: What atracts you to a Dom/me or turns you straight off? (4/12/2008 3:48:24 PM)

first, they have to be physically attractive. no exceptions. and brilliant. sharp-witted. a smooth, self-confident voice will also open a lot of doors with me. be self-aware, and have the ability to laugh at yourself. understand that i'm a switch, not a slave, and have no desire to be one.  turn offs? ask me about my kinks before you ask about me. assume i'm interested in you because you must be fabulous (when usually, you are fat and have been hit with the ugly stick.) write to me in text message speak, use poor grammar and misspell homonyms.



colouredin -> RE: What atracts you to a Dom/me or turns you straight off? (4/12/2008 3:52:53 PM)

Attraction :-
Integrity, brains, honesty, humour, confidence, charisma, sexuality

Repulsion
Pretention, misplaced arrogance, superiority complex, physical grossness (cant think of a better word) Uber Dom mentality



Aneirin -> RE: What atracts you to a Dom/me or turns you straight off? (4/12/2008 4:15:12 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessTeaze

What atracts you to a Dominant, and do you feel is truly importent??

&

What is a total turn off for you ?

I wish you all enough.

Warm Greetingz

GoddezzT`



What attracts me to those of the Dominant kind  is really a collection of things, I suppose I could call them my personal tests. The people to whom I do come in contact with, be that correspondence or other, I probe them and see if they come up to my expectations, if they do not, forget it. I will search long and search hard, but when the right one comes up, then I will know.

Things I seek ;

1. Someone who offers the hand of friendship, whatever the outcome.

2. Someone who can either match or surpass my intellect.

3. Someone who enjoys a challenge.

4. Someone who knows not everyone is the same and there is prepared to learn.

5. Someone who freely admits they are wrong when they are wrong and is free with their apologies.

6. Someone who genuinely cares for me, and not for what I can offer.

7. I suppose this is a hard one, but what I seek is perhaps someone who is similar to myself..

This list is by no means a complete list, but as per the questions, these I feel important at the moment, what comes after that, well who knows, but as long as the person maintains truth, diginity and honour, I feel we should get on.





kiwisub12 -> RE: What atracts you to a Dom/me or turns you straight off? (4/12/2008 5:14:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

I like intelligence - but it has to be combined with a broad education. I don't like trying to explain literary references to common cultural icons.
A sense of humour that meshes with mine - more Monty Python than Benny Hill.
Self confidence and self worth are important. Can't be dominant if you don't have these.
More sensual than sexual - i love touch and play. Not that i don't like sex, but what do you do with the other 23 hours and 59 minutes? lol.
Must shower and brush teeth every day.
Must have health insurance.
the rest is gravy! [:)]



Well, that would broadly leave me in the class of purely fucked, if one of the MIB didn't say it and maxwell grant didn't write it in the shadow series, I wouldn't have a clue.

Ron



Well, I have to say that i would consider MIB as a cultural icon. [:)]



petpete -> RE: What atracts you to a Dom/me or turns you straight off? (4/12/2008 5:31:27 PM)

Yet another very sensitive question by GT. my answer will be first of all what attracts me to a Mistress is from first sight the body and dress code in (capped and uncapped). What can hold me in a relationship is the way i am handled and how Her conduct will be towards me. What i cant stand and will distract me completely is the inability to be able to look after Her own, health is more then important to me, but if She suffers from cronique issues She has to show some ability that She is trying with Her own means to tackle them. i have a phobia on medication issues and cant tolerate inability of personal control management.. What disappoints me is far to many people rely on the medicine world and take less of an interest on there own strength to pay attention to personal health issues.



corsetgirl -> RE: What atracts you to a Dom/me or turns you straight off? (4/12/2008 9:08:35 PM)

Turn-ons:

Intelligence, honesty, passion, communication, humor, brings out the best in me, patience, similar compatibilties, not just BDSM but also vanilla activities (I like to think there is more to people other than BDSM) and appreciates who I am without trying to change my beliefs.  This is the type of dom that attracts me, someone who is strong, yet can be very caring.

Turn-offs:

Experienced doms who tell me "not to worry because they are the dom" and they know everything because they have had so many years of experience, arrogance, selfishness, no communication, lies, cheats, narrow minds, and those who pretend to be doms when all they want is just one moment of my time to have quick sex!  These are the type of doms who I believe are not worth of submission.



mystiquenz -> RE: What atracts you to a Dom/me or turns you straight off? (4/12/2008 10:36:40 PM)

I would have to say the list is common, but after that first or second or third meeting where:
* lack of follow through

* where rudeness is exhibited - eg maybe not a commited D/s relationship but you consent to a scene, (maybe you have just finished a scene, his cellphone beeps, you return from space too quickly as he plays cellphone tag ) which seems more important than the naked girl he has at his feet!  

* where false outcomes are encouraged

* where there is poor communication exhibited from the dominant and maybe he has not been that honest with you at the beginning ... the list could continue but the cat needs to be fed.




TemptingNviceSub -> RE: What atracts you to a Dom/me or turns you straight off? (4/12/2008 11:40:54 PM)

I agree with what most have said here on turn offs, however...The list I have compiled have stemmed from my first meets with some Dominants ....You are submissive and I am Dominant..that is all that is necessary to be compatible (know ME first is preference)..When while he is conversing with me, his eyes are on every woman within the place, as well as his attention..(this tells me, not much into a possible LTR..thus wrong for me)..Lying, have caught so many discrepencies in a conversation, that eventually the truth comes out, then have to hear the reasons as to why the lie was told in the first place..(can we say trust would be a huge issue with this person?)..The silent Dominant, one who does not hold up his end of a conversation, who cannot crack a smile to save his life,who is so serious and silent you are tempted to put a mirror under his nose to see if he is still breathing!..OK..Now the turn ons...what can I say!...so many have said what I also find attractive...Intelligience,self confidence,sense of humor(a must)one who is excellent at communication,one who is emotionally strong...physically?..not sure..you capture my mind with what I have listed above, then you become attractive and desired by me physically as well....Tempting



NorthernGent -> RE: What atracts you to a Dom/me or turns you straight off? (4/13/2008 6:27:32 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

Repulsion
Pretention, misplaced arrogance, superiority complex, physical grossness (cant think of a better word) Uber Dom mentality



And if he's a pretentious uber-dom with well placed arrogance and certain of his superiority?

Have I told you I refer to myself as TRANSCENDSTHEBARRIERSOFEARTHLYWISDOMDOM and only ever spell my name in capital letters?

Well, there you have it.....



Ariane23 -> RE: What atracts you to a Dom/me or turns you straight off? (4/13/2008 7:35:01 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

What,you mean these incredible and powerful masters don't turn you on?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vaeD9XFyWXo


I think one of them sent me a rude message the other day...



Leatherist -> RE: What atracts you to a Dom/me or turns you straight off? (4/13/2008 7:36:10 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ariane23

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

What,you mean these incredible and powerful masters don't turn you on?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vaeD9XFyWXo


I think one of them sent me a rude message the other day...


He must have missed dinner-pity.



captainbuckers -> RE: What atracts you to a Dom/me or turns you straight off? (4/13/2008 2:21:57 PM)

When I know they're better than me...
And they know it too



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