RE: Collar? (Full Version)

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IronBear -> RE: Collar? (3/29/2008 5:29:06 PM)

Doesn't matter what any hard ass here or elsewhere tell you lass, and they are right in what they say from their perspective and experience, IF IT FEELS RIGHT FOR YOU, IT IS REAL FOR YOU. My only worry is that you could be setting yourself up for a whole lot of hurt if he is p[laying and doesn't maske moves to spend time to bond with you oner on one real time. That wouls validat it for you.  Just be careful lass and try not to leave yourself open for hurt. Also remember that a lot of folkes here have been down the road, made or watched first hand these mistakes and many are battle scared and/ro are jaded too most of us develop a cynicam view of human nature after a whilke and it shows.

Iron Bear
Master of Bruin Cottage
(A Victorian Lifestyle poly home)

"I judge a Man by what I see him do and not by what others tell me he does." (Captain Sir Edward Pellew of the HMS Indefatigable to Midshipman Hornblower ~ C.S. Forrester)




MasterFireMaam -> RE: Collar? (3/30/2008 3:08:43 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

My opinion: if you haven't met for real and can't interact for real on a standard/steady basis, it ain't real. Doesn't mean it's not hot or of no value...but it ain't real.

Master Fire


By your logic he isn't really her father.

No, he wasn't. It take more than semen to be a father. I'm glad he was able to come home and be that father.

quote:

Elizabeth Barritt Browning had met Robert Browning in real life only a couple of times. Their courtship was by mail over a period of years. Guess they didn't really love each other enough to get married.

It would seem that they did, eventually, make it real, then, didn't they?

quote:

Feelings are real. And as long as they're real for the people involved, that's all that matters.

Which is why I said, "Doesn't mean it's of no value."

She asked for our opinions. I gave her mine.

Master Fire



She asked me my opinion. I gave it.



IronBear -> RE: Collar? (3/30/2008 3:36:06 AM)

one thing about opinions, everyone has them and our opinion is valuable to ua and perhaos to a couple of people who see things like we do. They only have what value we give them. Bit like advise really, and like advise, having got the opinions of others we can make an informed decesion what we wioll do about something and how some people (by their opinions) are likely to react to our sitiation or actions. makes it easier to know who we want to include in what we plan and who may be oposed to us. None is written in concrete and most are subjective rather then objective. No wins and no losses no one is wrong either justg different points of view.

Iron Bear
Master of Bruin Cottage
(A Victorian Lifestyle poly home)

"I judge a Man by what I see him do and not by what others tell me he does." (Captain Sir Edward Pellew of the HMS Indefatigable to Midshipman Hornblower ~ C.S. Forrester)




sweetizz -> RE: Collar? (3/30/2008 11:36:58 AM)

Having stated my question, and having revised the numerous responses, I would like to thank you all for them. They have truly has given me a better understanding of the situation at hand. I would however, like to point out that regardless of what ANYONE says to me, my feelings for my Master will never change. The relationship is what is it is, and when I can I will get to where he is, but until then, this is going to have to do. We speak to each other every single day, there hasn’t been a day since my Master, my sis and I met, that we haven’t spoken one way or another be it online, phone/webcam.
Like someone said, it doesn’t matter where people are in the world, feelings are feelings, and there is nothing we can do to prevent them.  Whether you choose to believe that Masterfiremaam ( I would also like to point out that did not soley seek just your opinion), that is your opinion and I respect that, but that is not how I, my Master or sis see it.
Again thank you for all of your opinions on this,
-Izzy



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Collar? (3/30/2008 1:49:42 PM)

I would like you to revisit this thread in six months and let us know what's going on with you all then.



orfunboi -> RE: Collar? (3/30/2008 1:51:40 PM)

Is it a REAL life relationship? If so I would consider it a REAL collar.



sweetizz -> RE: Collar? (3/30/2008 5:11:38 PM)

Fine by me. If you would like I can post day to day updates if it really suits you? You are entitled to your own opinion, but dont you dare insinuate something such as us not being together then, not only are you being demeaning, but you are being quite rude. I asked a simple question, I did NOT ask that people take a guess on how long our relationship was going to last. I have been collared to him for 6 months. I have known him LONGER than that.




sweetizz -> RE: Collar? (3/30/2008 5:14:52 PM)

Yes it is, despite what some people on here think, but I am not about to let them decide that our relationship is NOT real. Wish they would get off their high-horse.



nwcutie102 -> RE: Collar? (3/30/2008 6:12:08 PM)

i agree with steel... the one in your mind and let's add heart. those may not be visible- but are very real



szobras -> RE: Collar? (3/30/2008 6:28:50 PM)

Sweetizz,
My thoughts,
"How real is my comittment to it?", not how far, nor by what adornment.




Bound2One -> RE: Collar? (3/30/2008 6:40:29 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetizz

Yes it is, despite what some people on here think, but I am not about to let them decide that our relationship is NOT real. Wish they would get off their high-horse.


I understand your defensiveness, but you did post a question - is your collar real.  You need to decide that for yourself, but by even posing the question you seemed to have doubt.  You don't sound like you have that doubt anymore.  That's good.  You need to know where you stand with your Dominant and need to feel confident in your relationship.  No one else's opinions matter - what matters is what is in your heart and your connection with your Dom. 

Best of luck to you.



Owned1 -> RE: Collar? (3/30/2008 9:22:06 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetizz

Fine by me. If you would like I can post day to day updates if it really suits you? You are entitled to your own opinion, but don't you dare insinuate something such as us not being together then, not only are you being demeaning, but you are being quite rude. I asked a simple question, I did NOT ask that people take a guess on how long our relationship was going to last. I have been collared to him for 6 months. I have known him LONGER than that.

Yes it is, despite what some people on here think, but I am not about to let them decide that our relationship is NOT real. Wish they would get off their high-horse.



You posted the question, therefore you are going to get a variety of answers.  By getting snarky at those who take the time to respond does you no favors.

If you only want to hear what you have decided you want to hear I suggest you do not post questions here.

A number of individuals have posed questions to you which you have yet to answer.  This too is bad form.

All the best in your future may it be all you deserve

Owned



ZenDragoness -> RE: Collar? (3/31/2008 6:15:30 AM)

I do not know about collars.

My beloved (DragonOfTheDawn) and I met in an internet sm chat room, one summers night in 2000. We phoned the next night for 7 hours through the wee hours of the night and well into the the morning of the next day. This night we fell in love and the coming change of your life was decided.


It needed 7 months before we met each other, a time we spent to mail things to each other, where we could smell us, we phoned and wrote each day. Our first night was wonderful and after all in all meeting for 10 days we decided to live together. My then husband was informed all the way about everything what happened, we had an open relationship. But it was an open relationship with him as the alpha and now i had two alphas. It was very difficult to decide, but i had to follow my heart and choose Michael. Today we three share a very close relationship my ex husband lives in another town, but visits us one time a month and we visit him.

Our love was real from the very first words and it stayed that way. Nearly everybody around us thought we were going crazy and only two friends supported us.

So as IronBear wrote, your feelings (but they better be shared, if you do not want to be hurt badly) are as real as you choose.



ZenDragoness -> RE: Collar? (3/31/2008 6:19:16 AM)

And do not get me wrong:

Before the above mentioned happened, i would have declared us crazy, more of the lunatic variety,  and the whole thing a nice illusion, as would have the Dragon.



LadyPact -> RE: Collar? (3/31/2008 6:42:44 AM)

Beyond questions such as, "Should I continue to breathe in and out?" or "Do I need food and water at regular intervals?" there aren't going to be many questions on these boards that get a universal response.  This is true of almost any topic, even those discussing health and safety.  I would even go so far as to say it's less likely to happen when asking a general forum about relationships, especially those of the electronic variety.

When it comes to the subject of relationships that are online, folks tend to fall in three categories.  Those who have not participated in an online dynamic.  Those who have participated in one, and had any of a variety of mixed results.  Finally, those in a current online situation.  That alone should make anyone realize that the answers aren't going to be the same from everyone.  If that was the result you were hoping to achieve, you would probably have to direct your question only to the population who are either currently online only, or have only positive experiences with it.  Then you will get exactly what you want to hear.

I wish you the best of luck.  I really do.  At the same time, you have to realize that the forum populace on CM has read countless threads on how the online thing just wasn't a comparison to the real thing.  We also read about the success stories, but they are fewer and more far between.



OmegaG -> RE: Collar? (3/31/2008 7:37:37 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetizz

Yes it is, despite what some people on here think, but I am not about to let them decide that our relationship is NOT real. Wish they would get off their high-horse.


Did you ask the question hoping that you could get snippy when people offered opinions that you don't like?

Personally, I've never been able to invest real emotion through a computer screen, which is probably why I would never be with a person for 6 months with no physical contact.   Doesn't work for me, never has, never will, and I believe it's way too easy to get sucked into the fantasy of it all and forget the real life person on the other side, warts and all.



amayos -> RE: Collar? (3/31/2008 8:04:34 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetizz

OK, I have been collared to my Master for about 6 months. Right now it is declared as an "Online" Collar. However, I have a collar that is his, a real, physical Collar. My friend said something to me, that perked my curiousity, now that I do have a REAL collar that is his, would it be considered a REAL Life Collar?



I tend to advise people to stop making so much to-do over an object and honestly reflect upon how real the connection they are engaged in feels to them. The spirit doesn't lie in the collar, of course; it's a ring of material that goes around the neck. It is a tool to physically control. The symbolism behind it is nice, and perhaps even a little romantic, but should not ever supersede the corporeal experience. Put the focus back on your fleshly instincts and not on objects. If you feel bonded to this other mind, it is enough to feel happy with that—collar or no collar.



sweetizz -> RE: Collar? (3/31/2008 9:19:27 AM)

OK well it has been pointed out to me that I have been "Snarky" , give me a snarky answer, get a snarky response. I would like to point out that my "Snarky answer" was to NOT a question, and NOT a reply of my question at hand.

Here are some things you should know.

I HAVE  in REAL LIFE been in a Master/slave relationship for 3 years! I know what I am doing, I am not in it for the "fantasy" of online, I am the real deal and so isn't my Master who also has a slave that lives with him (YES she knows about me, YES we talk, infact she is my best-friend) we all "communicate" to avoid issues, conflicts ect... I'd like to see some of you go to those online dating websites, tell them no they're not real, yet a good handful of them end up together in real life.

I asked a simple question. NOT a depiction (how long it is going to last, ect) of my Master and I's relationship.

I appreciate the answers I did get pertaining to my original question, AND NO Owned1 I am not picking and choosing the ones I want to hear! I am not going to sit here idly letting people derail my thread with that nonsense crap about how long the relationship will last.

Give me a snarky answer, expect a snarky response, K.

- Izzy




ZenDragoness -> RE: Collar? (3/31/2008 11:19:19 AM)

I do not know, why you replied to me, that was for ladypact.
The following is  not:

We live together since 2001. My text is about that real *whatever the hell real means* can start online/per phone and that it was damned real for us from the very first words we exchanged online. As long as real people exchange something it is real and if that same persons decide to exist only in the online realm, it is still real, because it is happening. The realpolice is a horrible crowd. The zealotism of the believers is unverving.



Floggings4You -> RE: Collar? (3/31/2008 1:23:08 PM)

I agree with what many here have already said: if your feelings of submission and obedience are real, if you feel that you are collared, if you serve your Dom/Master in all He asks of you, then its real. 

The decision is yours whether to submit, whether to obey, and whether you view your collar as permanent, part-time, or something that is only there "sometimes"...





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