Oaths & Collars

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Oaths & Collars

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Oaths & Collars

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Oaths & Collars - 3/28/2008 11:09:32 PM

warrenwriter

Posts: 43
Joined: 9/27/2007
Status: offline

I've always treated collars with a degree of seriousness and only reserved them for women I've bonded to. I see collars in chat rooms and clubs that subs wear that have been "collared", only to wear it for a short period of time. It seems to demean the understanding of collaring and what exactly in entails.

Much like a wedding, the rings are nice, but the oaths are important. Does anyone swear oaths (from Top and bottom) when a collar is given to a bottom?

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: Oaths & Collars - 3/28/2008 11:30:10 PM

peppermint

Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline

A Collar means what 2 people have agreed it means. It is not for me to say the meaning i have for a collar is more important than their meaning.

And no....i've never sworn an oath at a collaring and never considered an oath as necessary.

(in reply to warrenwriter)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: Oaths & Collars - 3/28/2008 11:38:13 PM

SteelofUtah

Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline

I know a guy who cares more about the Yarn his Mistress tied around his Chest to remind him he was owned than any collar he may have had. .... Real Touching story it was.

Anyway a collar is a TOOL like any other the Purpose is in the BOND .

Don't try to make everyone elses kink match yours Insead try to undersand the reason that thier kink works for them and then see if you can learn anything from that.

As Always a Permanent Student of BDSM

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to peppermint)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: Oaths & Collars - 3/28/2008 11:54:12 PM

GiantSteps

Posts: 61
Joined: 3/23/2008
From: Nigh Philadelphia
Status: offline

My 2: An oath is a funny thing - in the end, only worth the paper it's printed on. Imagine, if you will, a beautiful collaring ceremony, during which the sub and Dom do their little speechifying before the great moment. Now, flash foward three months, and see if either one can repeat, in perfect fidelity, the oath that they spoke.

Unless - and it's a possibility - they do a little standardized "Pledge of Alliegence" routine to start each meeting, you're going to end up with just a generalized idea of what they remembered they said between "My Revered Lord of Beneficent Light and Keeper of my very soul" and "Evermore until the oceans pickle haddock and the stars explode in everlasting submission to your preeminence."

On the other hand, collars - real ones, not the ones handed out like penny candy in chat rooms - have a material weight. You Know when you have one of those puppies strapped around your neck. You miss it when it's not. So my way has always been to imbue that material weight with purpose. The Outer and the inner diameter. The control and the submission to it. The collar is the meaning and the method, all rolled up in one. Before one goes on, a submissive has to understand and embrace that sucker not just as a nifty piece of hardware, but for everything it means.

Like Gollum, my love, it swears on its precious.

Iconography has a strength that trumps words any day of the week. I'll pay you a dollar for everyone here who could recite you Leviticus 27 without looking it up, if you'll pay me a dime for everyone who knows who that guy is hanging off that cross. The trick is to make sure you supersoak meaning into that item so it vibrates with power. If you've got that going for you, your oath is there every time the collar is.

< Message edited by GiantSteps -- 3/28/2008 11:56:38 PM >

(in reply to warrenwriter)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: Oaths & Collars - 3/29/2008 5:59:55 AM

julietsierra

Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: warrenwriter

I've always treated collars with a degree of seriousness and only reserved them for women I've bonded to. I see collars in chat rooms and clubs that subs wear that have been "collared", only to wear it for a short period of time. It seems to demean the understanding of collaring and what exactly in entails.

Much like a wedding, the rings are nice, but the oaths are important. Does anyone swear oaths (from Top and bottom) when a collar is given to a bottom?

Well, I got married. I made an oath. Rings were exchanged...all the internal and external trappings of committment. A while later, I divorced him... so much for my oath. I don't wear my wedding ring anymore - so much for the external trappings..

Of course, he did things that destroyed the internal trappings which made the external trappings useless.

Now what I find odd is that when I divorced him, no one else seemed to think their marriages were somehow diminished in meaning. I mean, here I was divorcing him, leaving his ass, and all the other ways you can say that, and for some unknown reason, no one else ever took ownership of things like, "if she drops her rings and breaks her oath, it must mean my relationship is somehow less than it was too."

So... if the actual wedding, rings, oaths of one couple isn't diminished by the events in another couple's lives... just why should the breaking of oaths, taking off of collars, and possible ceremonies of one D/s couple diminish the relationship strength of another couple?

I've never understood this. People break up around us all the time. We look at each other and shrug. It has absolutely no bearing on the significance we place on those trappings of our relationship.

My collar is around my heart. Just because someone takes a piece of metal or leather from around their necks it has zero impact on the collar around my heart.

Oh...and to answer the OP's actual question, we had no ceremony, no oaths or anything like that. Those had been said long before he gave me a collar. We said those on our first night together. My basic oath: I will obey. His: I will not harm.

That about said it all.

juliet

< Message edited by julietsierra -- 3/29/2008 6:01:33 AM >

(in reply to warrenwriter)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: Oaths & Collars - 3/29/2008 7:28:35 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

No ceremony or oaths. Just the feeling that we belong together. Still have that feeling. As far as that leather collar, he hasn't brought it out in play for over a year. And the silver necklace he's given me since, sometimes I wear it and sometimes I don't. Doesn't change how I feel if it's off because I'm planning to wash my hair, or I'm sitting around here half dressed trying to get ready for the day.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to julietsierra)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: Oaths & Collars - 3/29/2008 9:02:57 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

collars these days especially living in a city like Chicago has become fashionable to wear however i've met other kinksters who recognized the symbolism in the eternity collar around my neck.

that being said, i didn't have to swear an oath to Daddy just merely accepted it to show my commitment to Him. soon i shall be collaring my pet next month and i'm not requiring him to swear an oath to me. he already feels submissive, devoted and committed to me - that's all i need from him.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to warrenwriter)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: Oaths & Collars - 3/29/2008 9:28:06 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

How someone else chooses their symbols has no bearing on how "demeaned" it feels to me. I use collars for all sorts of reasons- if my choices demean you having your choices, then that's your choice.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Profile

Post #: 8