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Dom safety - 2/23/2004 7:58:38 PM

LrdSatyr8

Posts: 21
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Oxford, NC
Status: offline

You hear all the time about how submissives are used by the online freaks and trolls, and all the focus is on their safety... but what about us Doms? What do we do when we get burned? Where do we go to regain our focus? Do we have to settle for whatever comes along and just learn to live with it? We're supposed to be strong... we're suppose to be rigid and not allow our feelings to get in the way of our descisions. But what happens when a Dom gets used? I'm so tired... I've been used so many times before and hurt even more, but I'm still just a man... even a Master has his limits... and I feel like I'm at the edge of mine.

-=> Satyr! <=-

< Message edited by LrdSatyr8 -- 2/23/2004 11:01:05 PM >

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RE: Dom safety - 2/23/2004 9:03:56 PM

JerryInTampa

Posts: 138
Joined: 2/19/2004
Status: offline

I took a break. I threw up my hands and focused on other things for a while. Then I came back and started trying again.

In some cases, finding an outlet can be a good option. In my case I found someone I liked; and though we could not work out we flirted and talked and such and it gave me the chance to again have positive experiences. For others it my be a fling, or play-partner. But like anything else, when it becomes to much just step away for a bit :)

Jerry

(in reply to LrdSatyr8)

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RE: Dom safety - 2/23/2004 9:04:15 PM

EStrict

Posts: 729
Joined: 1/11/2004
Status: offline

I am sorry you feel so hurt Sir. Yes, dominants are people too, and as such get hurt. The best advice I can offer is to find someone to talk to (I have a good ear if you need it), and try to get through the hurt. And, as with anyone, the best *healing* thing is time,,,

Sandy

(in reply to LrdSatyr8)

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RE: Dom safety - 2/23/2004 10:11:22 PM

Estring

Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
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You know I never bought into the macho mindset that a Dom is some kind of rigid, unfeeling superman that always stays above it all. That is crap!
We hurt as all humans do. And we get so frustrated with the game playing by subs and the idiot wannabe Doms that give us a bad name.
But what is the alternative? Give up? Become vanilla? I would rather keep searching and learning, and hope that I am getting closer to finding what I want.

(in reply to EStrict)

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RE: Dom safety - 2/24/2004 11:05:10 AM

ShadowHwk

Posts: 158
Joined: 1/5/2004
From: New York
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LrdSatyr8
You hear all the time about how submissives are used by the online freaks and trolls, and all the focus is on their safety... but what about us Doms? What do we do when we get burned? Where do we go to regain our focus? Do we have to settle for whatever comes along and just learn to live with it? We're supposed to be strong... we're suppose to be rigid and not allow our feelings to get in the way of our descisions.

I don't think that anyone expects us to not have feelings... and my decisions always involve my feelings - always. As for being rigid - down that path lies disaster - if your too rigid you can't be resilent and will eventually break. And face it, many subs (no offense intended) are class "A" manipulators. They seek us out because they feel a need to find someone they can't manipulate.

I second the idea of "taking a break" to regain your center. Nothing at all wrong with that - this is not a race - there is no finish line - except in your head.

Terry
AKA ShadowHwk

(in reply to LrdSatyr8)

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RE: Dom safety - 2/26/2004 4:09:26 AM

BondageMstr

Posts: 7
Joined: 2/22/2004
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it does seem to me that too many slaves see or want to see Masters as total protectors and if they see one crack in the armor then they tend to think of him as weak. Most of MY experience though comes from subs who like to be used but are not ready to commit to just one person. I can NOT understand why a Master would let his slave be used by others but then I also can't see how a master can put his slave down and not be reduced by it himself.

(in reply to LrdSatyr8)

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RE: Dom safety - 2/27/2004 6:48:53 PM

LrdSatyr8

Posts: 21
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Oxford, NC
Status: offline

Thank you all for the kind comments and guidance... I took a break for awhile and I think it helped alot... thanks again!

-=> Master Satyr! <=-

(in reply to BondageMstr)

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RE: Dom safety - 12/24/2004 7:38:20 PM

MistressDREAD

Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
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This was a short and sweet post.

(in reply to LrdSatyr8)

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RE: Dom safety - 12/24/2004 8:09:32 PM

topcat

Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline

M. Satyr-

quote:

We're supposed to be strong... we're suppose to be rigid and not allow our feelings to get in the way of our descisions.

Damn- I musta slept through that class at the dom academy

_____________________________

-there is no remission without blood-

(in reply to LrdSatyr8)

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RE: Dom safety - 12/24/2004 9:49:28 PM

MistressDREAD

Posts: 2943
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LOL!~

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RE: Dom safety - 12/25/2004 8:29:09 PM

RealityFix

Posts: 156
Joined: 8/12/2004
Status: offline

You just learn from your mistakes and become patient.

I use a set of filtering criteria to weed out drama queens and "do me bottoms" now.

It's nice to get some actual service, but rather rare-seeing as how this is more about "kink" than anything approaching a relationship to most who do it.

I'm no longer so burned out after thinking about it-I'm just more determined not to let it repeat.

(in reply to MistressDREAD)

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