First "in person" meeting advice

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

First "in person" meeting advice

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> First "in person" meeting advice

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

First "in person" meeting advice - 10/2/2005 10:47:50 PM

raisipsa

Posts: 9
Joined: 7/17/2005
Status: offline

I'm a male Dom meeting a fem sub/slave in person for the first time later this week (not a play date, a get to know you date). I know that being genuine, listening, not instructing her before she trusts me and respects me are a given. We've exchanged pics and have gotten to know each other via email and IM pretty well although she hasn't really opened up yet.

Any suggestions as to something to help make the first meeting extraordinary? I'm sure some of you have some memorable first meetings (or even something you did in a subsequent meeting which would be appropriate for a first one). I'd also like to hear from any sub/slaves about anything you experienced in a first meeting which really touched you or was special.

Thanks.

Post #: 1

RE: First "in person" meeting advice - 10/2/2005 11:20:43 PM

Evanesce

Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline

Well, my first face-to-face meeting with Master was about five hours long. We met at a restaurant that wasn't open for another hour (neither of us knew that when we decided to meet there), so we wound up walking around the mall for an hour. Then we went back to the restaurant, got a private corner booth, and sat and talked for about three hours. At some point during those three hours, He wound up with my panties in His pocket. Per His instructions, I had to go to the restroom and remove the panties, carry them back to the table in my hand (I was REALLY glad it was mid-afternoon and the area we were in had no other customers at the time), tuck them into His pocket as I whispered "I have a gift for you, Sir," in His ear, and kiss His cheek. I almost didn't do it. I'd never in my life done anything like that, and it was a bit embarrassing, but it was exhilarating at the same time, and the look on His face told me I'd made the right choice.

Finally, we went out and sat in my car in the parking lot for another hour or so, still talking. But just before we said goodbye, He grabbed a fistful of my hair, said I was going to be His, kissed me and got out of the car. He then pulled my panties from His pocket, hung them on His rear view mirror, and told me I'd get them back the next time I saw Him.

Denise
the Kaptin's wench

(in reply to raisipsa)

Post #: 2

RE: First "in person" meeting advice - 10/3/2005 12:34:17 AM

JohnWarren

Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

This may sound flip, but it's serious. Stop worrying about extraordinary and work on good. Be yourself. Try to have fun.

One of the most common reasons for "scenes from hell" is people are trying too hard. That also applies to vanilla meetings. She's interested in you; you're interested in her. Let it flow

< Message edited by JohnWarren -- 10/3/2005 2:18:16 AM >

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to raisipsa)

Post #: 3

RE: First "in person" meeting advice - 10/3/2005 1:09:24 AM

Padriag

Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: raisipsa

Any suggestions as to something to help make the first meeting extraordinary?

When a gentleman wants to make a date memorable, there are a few keys things to making this happen. The first is forethought, planning ahead. Before the date, think about who you are going on a date with, what sort of person they are and what they would enjoy. Since you've said this is to simply get to know each other a relaxed setting would be appropriate. Based on what you know of her, what sort of place would she be comfortable with... a five star formal resteraunt or a three start informal one? Give some thought to how the evening might go and plan for some options. For example, what if you meet for dinner and things go very well and she'd like to continue the evening further... now what do you do... fumble for an idea or do you have something in mind already. Could be something as simple as having considered a few coffee shops that aren't too noisy where you could sit and talk... or perhaps there's a carriage ride available... know of a nice park where you could sit in a lit public gazebo and just chat? Did you remember to check the weather ahead of time? By having some options in mind before the date, that allows you to "spring into action" should the opportunity arrise, helps you look like a man who knows how to get things done, a man about town, makes you seem more confident and sure of yourself.

Once you are on the date, relax and be yourself. You have your plan, you've already worked out where you are going, some alternative activities, and some possibilities for later in the evening. Now that you don't have to worry about any of those things, you can relax and just enjoy meeting your date and getting to know her. You already seem to know her some so you probably have ideas for things you can discuss, things you would like to ask her. The only thing I will say here is avoid things you know would make her feel uncomfortable.

Have you considered a small gift? Nothing fancy (in fact avoid anything fancy, you don't want to show off or wow her, just be thoughtful). For example, I'm proud of my Irish heritage and its a part of who I am. So I might present a date with a CD of traditional Irish music and on the inside of the CD cover sign it with something like "May you always fondly remember our first date..." That would be a good simple gift that would be memorable and also reminder of me (and you do want her thinking about you later).

To sum up, plan ahead and use that to make yourself seem confident, capable and incharge without having to be overtly domineering. On the date, relax... be at ease as that will put her at ease. You want her to feel comfortable (if she feels very comfortable with you, that in itself will be memorable to her). A simple gift can provide a nice momento of the date.

Best of luck and I sincerely hope it all goes well.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to raisipsa)

Post #: 4

RE: First "in person" meeting advice - 10/3/2005 9:23:19 AM

raisipsa

Posts: 9
Joined: 7/17/2005
Status: offline

Evanesce, thank you so much for sharing your experience with me. It is always particularly insightful to hear from the woman's perspective. Sounds like you and your Master got off to a great start. He obviously made a great first impression since you appear to be very solid in your relationship. I presume the panties were returned and are now a pleasant reminder of a first meeting gone well. Thanks again.

(in reply to Evanesce)

Post #: 5

RE: First "in person" meeting advice - 10/3/2005 9:35:14 AM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

This may sound flip, but it's serious. Stop worrying about extraordinary and work on good. Be yourself. Try to have fun.

As usual I agree with John. I would ask what you have done in the past to make a nilla date memorable? A first date is a first date. You do your best to get to know the person & see how you fit together. Even with emails, IM & phone calls it is still a time to get to know someone.

(in reply to JohnWarren)

Post #: 6

RE: First "in person" meeting advice - 10/3/2005 9:41:11 AM

raisipsa

Posts: 9
Joined: 7/17/2005
Status: offline

Padriag, thank you for taking the time to provide such a lengthy and considered response. I continue to be impressed by the quality of the people I meet in the lifestyle. I viewed your profile and do not often view men's profiles. I want you to know I think you have done an impressive job in creating a profile (one of the best Dom profiles I've seen) which after reading, imparts a true sense of who you are, what you are seeking and what you offer a prospective slave/partner. I hope you find what you are looking for. Good luck.

(in reply to raisipsa)

Post #: 7

RE: First "in person" meeting advice - 10/3/2005 9:42:25 AM

raisipsa

Posts: 9
Joined: 7/17/2005
Status: offline

JohnWarren, thank you for the advice.

(in reply to Padriag)

Post #: 8

RE: First "in person" meeting advice - 10/3/2005 9:54:42 AM

Padriag

Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline

You're quite welcome and I hope your first meeting goes off without a hitch. Thank you for the compliments on my profile as well, very kind of you to say.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to raisipsa)

Post #: 9

RE: First "in person" meeting advice - 10/3/2005 10:07:56 AM

Kasia

Posts: 442
Joined: 6/25/2005
From: The Coast of Adria
Status: offline

So many nice advices

I wish someone gave some advice about first meeting to my hubby. I came by bus (1200 km drive) to find out he fell asleep and my happy "I am here honey" call wake him up. Had to drive 500 km to get to me and he made it in only 4 hours. So he was 4 hours late.
I guess some girls would just turn their backs and leave - I waited. And he was worth it.

So much about first meeting..... I should say that 5 years we have been together after that lousy first meeting count much much more

So dont trouble yourself about first meeting too much. If you do something wrong, the right girl will give you a chance to make it right on second, third, fourth..... etc. meeting.

_____________________________

I DO have profile - just lost an S somewhere along the way

Kassia

(in reply to Padriag)

Post #: 10

RE: First "in person" meeting advice - 10/3/2005 1:25:31 PM

raisipsa

Posts: 9
Joined: 7/17/2005
Status: offline

Thank you Kasia for sharing. You must have known something special was coming to have been so patient.

(in reply to Kasia)

Post #: 11

RE: First "in person" meeting advice - 10/3/2005 1:46:23 PM

Kasia

Posts: 442
Joined: 6/25/2005
From: The Coast of Adria
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: raisipsa

Thank you Kasia for sharing. You must have known something special was coming to have been so patient.

My dear, I knew nothing (except that I was freezing at the bus station at 4 a.m.)

I am not patient at all. I was just already too fascinated (not saying "in love" for I dont believe in falling in love online).

And I am really very very stubborn.

In fact I truly believe in "no risk, no profit"

Worked out for me every time so far.

_____________________________

I DO have profile - just lost an S somewhere along the way

Kassia

(in reply to raisipsa)

Post #: 12

RE: First "in person" meeting advice - 10/3/2005 1:47:55 PM

Soulhuntre

Posts: 223
Joined: 9/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: raisipsa
date). I know that being genuine, listening, not instructing her before she trusts me and respects me are a given. We've exchanged pics and have gotten to know each other via email and IM pretty well although she hasn't really opened up yet.

[snip]

Any suggestions as to something to help make the first meeting extraordinary? I'm sure some of you have some memorable first meetings

I've been thinking about this a bit - but the first part of your quote sort of destroys anythign I had in mind to suggest.

None of my first meetings have been power neutral, nor would I really want them to have been. I absolutely felt comfortable dictating terms and issuing orders at that stage (though they may have sounded more like suggestions to causal ears). Every "memorable" event at such a meeting was a direct result of that power. Discussions I have had with couples (during trainign interviews and so on) indicate that this is pretty common - many of those couples who remember a "wow!" first meeting describe an encounter that broke many of the commonly held beliefs about how such meetings should happen.

Thats not to say I haven't met people who were friends or going to be friends in power neutral settings and manners - but anyone I was seriously considering for service would be someone who it was fairly obvious frome arly on I had a power advantage with.

All I can tell you is relax and be yourself... I am sure it will work out ok.

(in reply to raisipsa)

Post #: 13

RE: First "in person" meeting advice - 10/3/2005 2:07:27 PM

Awakener

Posts: 88
Joined: 9/18/2005
Status: offline

What I have found to be important about a first date, is to make it about talking. Make sure wherever you go or do, that it is something where you will both be comfortable talking to one another. My best exp have always been early dinner somwhere casual. Then either walking or riding somwhere. I don't know what is avalable to you, but in my city there are many things like TrolyCar tours, Train tours or sceneic rides, lil boat jaunts around the sound or just plain walking around. Anything where the scenery chages a bit and you can comfortably talk. Also as another has already said have options. If it is nice, and you go walking, well know whats available in the area. After walking off some of your dinner, maybe happen to walk by an Ice cream shop.
Mainly though just talk, and while you talk do two things...honestly listen, and make eye contact. Not constant eye contact but do show her you are actually interested. However don't act interested if your not...
Also I would suggest you not involve alcahol. If a connection is made alcahol can be a reason to doubt it's reality the next day.

Well there is my input.

Edited out the many typos, of this broken down keyboard.

< Message edited by Awakener -- 10/3/2005 2:11:41 PM >

(in reply to raisipsa)

Post #: 14

RE: First "in person" meeting advice - 10/3/2005 3:24:02 PM

raisipsa

Posts: 9
Joined: 7/17/2005
Status: offline

Thanks Awakener, it's an afternoon meeting and I've suggested a botanical garden with lots of nice private places to walk and sit. We haven't confirmed the place yet but soon will do so. Having been there before, it's a great place for a first meeting.

(in reply to Awakener)

Post #: 15

RE: First "in person" meeting advice - 10/3/2005 3:40:37 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

Good luck! The botannical garden sounds like a nice place to meet.

(in reply to raisipsa)

Post #: 16

RE: First "in person" meeting advice - 10/3/2005 4:24:36 PM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

actually my meeting wih my late master was kinda funny. We met in a diner and he ordered coffee and asked me if i was hungry, i was not cause i was nervous he asked me what i ate today and said so far nothing. he said i want you to eat something i said (insert name) i am not hungry he said i want you to eat either order something or i will do it for you. So ordered a salad and he made sure i finished half of it and even paid for it. We talked for 4 hours After that i knew if i chose him he would be good to me so i did and he was

littleone

(in reply to raisipsa)

Post #: 17

RE: First "in person" meeting advice - 10/3/2005 4:50:23 PM

Evanesce

Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Evanesce, thank you so much for sharing your experience with me. It is always particularly insightful to hear from the woman's perspective. Sounds like you and your Master got off to a great start. He obviously made a great first impression since you appear to be very solid in your relationship. I presume the panties were returned and are now a pleasant reminder of a first meeting gone well. Thanks again.

Yeah, I'd say He made a good impression. If I was merely intrigued by our phone and online conversations, I was hooked by the time that first date was over. So was He.

And yes, I did get my panties back the next time I saw Him... about two weeks later at a BDSM club, which was the first place we played together.

You're very welcome.

Denise
the Kaptin's wench

(in reply to raisipsa)

Post #: 18

RE: First "in person" meeting advice - 10/5/2005 1:36:34 PM

raisipsa

Posts: 9
Joined: 7/17/2005
Status: offline

Thank you for your insights and for sharing, littleone. It's very interesting to me the variety of experiences posters have shared.

(in reply to littleone35)

Post #: 19

RE: First "in person" meeting advice - 10/5/2005 1:49:01 PM

Kasia

Posts: 442
Joined: 6/25/2005
From: The Coast of Adria
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: raisipsa

it's an afternoon meeting and I've suggested a botanical garden

If I was the one meeting you, that would be the last place you would like to take me - I am such freak about plants thats I would not even notice you being around and I would probably bore you to death

_____________________________

I DO have profile - just lost an S somewhere along the way

Kassia

(in reply to raisipsa)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> First "in person" meeting advice

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.094