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Consensual Domination! - 3/29/2008 1:23:03 PM

MissSCD

Posts: 1185
Joined: 3/10/2007
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Greetings one and all:

For some time now, I have been struggling with an issue very dear to my heart. It is the isue of consent.
We have talked about consent many times on this site.
My interperation of a relationship involving SM techniques is simply one where there is no collar involved. Both parties are equal in decision making. The only thing that enables the Power Exchange.
Just wanting your thoughts on this idea.

Regards, MissSCD

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RE: Consensual Domination! - 3/29/2008 1:28:52 PM

Insatiable4Black

Posts: 35
Joined: 3/2/2008
Status: offline

I'm not sure I understand what you're asking about - Can you please elaborate?
Thanks!

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissSCD

Greetings one and all:

For some time now, I have been struggling with an issue very dear to my heart. It is the isue of consent.
We have talked about consent many times on this site.
My interperation of a relationship involving SM techniques is simply one where there is no collar involved. Both parties are equal in decision making. The only thing that enables the Power Exchange.
Just wanting your thoughts on this idea.

Regards, MissSCD

(in reply to MissSCD)

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Post #: 2

RE: Consensual Domination! - 3/29/2008 1:41:52 PM

Justme696

Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline

consensual;
involving or based on mutual consent
(they make decisions together Dom with sub/slave./ or ask an opinion)

I do that too..especially with a new girl.....is she doesn't mind..because not all subs want to be asked an opinion. Depends on the relation.

< Message edited by Justme696 -- 3/29/2008 1:42:44 PM >

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RE: Consensual Domination! - 3/29/2008 1:49:22 PM

MissSCD

Posts: 1185
Joined: 3/10/2007
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It is just like a normal relationship with the ability to use whips and chains. I believe in liberty, justice and equality for all unless someone allows me to perform techniques on them.

Regards, MissSCD

(in reply to Justme696)

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RE: Consensual Domination! - 3/29/2008 2:17:02 PM

Focus50

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Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
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This is somewhat vague but I'll take a stab by what I understand you're saying....

IMO, be it a casual or committed relationship, both parties are *NOT* equal in the decision making processes. There'll be communication, there'll be an understanding and agreement of defined limits and there'll definitely be a safeword for a casual play partner. Other than that, ALL decisions belong to *me*!

As far as consent goes, I do not require consent for everything I choose to do to/with her. In agreeing to participate originally, her consent is implied no matter where I choose to take the scene - allowing for the limitations imposed in the previous paragraph.

Even when I yousta play casually, I still placed a collar around her neck to signify her place in my presence and as a powerful means of setting desired headspace. It's mutually understood that it's only a "play" collar; that it only signified ownership and committment etc for the few hours or weekend we'd be together.

Most forms of BDSM have a control dynamic in play. I certainly wouldn't be involved with any sub giving instruction as we go. Choices are *mine* by right and hers when I ask - that's what allows Power Exchange to flow. Overall, if she didn't trust me, she wouldn't be here!

Focus.

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RE: Consensual Domination! - 3/29/2008 4:22:19 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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I don't see how a s & m only relationship has any power exchange. You meet a friend at a party. You ask if they're up to playing, they ask if you could do cupping, you counter offer cupping followed by single tail. You come to an agreement and both have fun. Consent on both parts and no power involved.

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RE: Consensual Domination! - 3/29/2008 4:41:23 PM

Insatiable4Black

Posts: 35
Joined: 3/2/2008
Status: offline

I like that a lot!

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

Even when I yousta play casually, I still placed a collar around her neck to signify her place in my presence and as a powerful means of setting desired headspace. It's mutually understood that it's only a "play" collar; that it only signified ownership and committment etc for the few hours or weekend we'd be together.

Most forms of BDSM have a control dynamic in play. I certainly wouldn't be involved with any sub giving instruction as we go. Choices are *mine* by right and hers when I ask - that's what allows Power Exchange to flow. Overall, if she didn't trust me, she wouldn't be here!

Focus.