quote:

ORIGINAL: submissfifi

Hi subs/slaves,

I'm seeking some much needed comfort, support and advice on a situation I am in. I've met a truly wonderful dom, whom I've been in contact with for around 7/8 months. I've commited myself to him as much as I can do (as in I'm not looking for any other dom men). But I've got some issues in my life that I need to address to make the potential relationship better for the future...These are no big issues, I just need to time to get my life more organised/structured. I've communicated to him my needs/reasons and said that I won't have much time (or more that ideally I'd like some time out) to concentrate on these things, whilst saying this to Sir, I also made sure that he knows I'm still commited to him and reassured him of that. I've said that my email etc still works and if he needs me for anything or wants to talk to me about anything, and that I will of course respond/reply. I've given Sir a timescale and said once things are sorted I will contact him and let him know. This being a couple of months if not less...depending how quick I am.

I've found through the years that pulling the strings that float back together so you can move onto
something is next to impossible.  Those strings are life, it happens as were not looking.  You can
`fix` life and live at the same time. 

I've also decided to take this time to learn some more about the lifestyle,  for my benefit as I felt I was struggling a little with this kind of relationship...(I felt a little lost). I've brought some books and am enjoying reading them. Already found some new aspects/ideas for us both to benefit from.

reading is great, but dont forget to read between the lines and find what fits YOU. 

But what I didn't count on was how hard this was going to be...(am wondering that I might not have thought this through, and now stupidly miss him.) Of course I'm not going to go back on what I've said as this will just confuse Sir into a coming and going situation...But my god I need to be strong, see being with Sir is so amazing and makes life so complete, exciting, fun..that that in itself is enough motivation/desire/need to push me through these issues...I guess I was just focusing too much on Sir and let things around me slip.

confuse him?  NOT... he's a big boy, you dont have to protect him.  You can go back on your word. 
Setting goals for yourself is great, but remember they are goals, not requirements.  If you set the bar
too high and expect to be 10 feet tall and bullet proof you exhust yourself.  (i own that T shirt) 
Stop Domming yourself.  If you need help/direction/suggestions ASK him for it.  

I feel in myself that what I've done is the right thing, and I know that also the sooner I sort these things the quicker I can return to Sir. But I miss Sir so terribly and the tempation is so hard to fight. That now I've not only got things to sort out, I'm also fighting such intense feelings and temptations....I reckon I've made this harder for myself than it needed to be.

the only thing I want to add is considering this relationship is online I fear you may be putting way too much stock in it.  Online can be a great blanket to warm yourself in, but if you honestly plan to meet in RT you may be surprised that the chemistry isnt what you thought it was. 

Does anyone have any suggestions or advice? I'd be very grateful.

submissfifi

quote:

ORIGINAL: submissfifi

Hi sub/slaves

Sorry I posted this before bed last night and couldn't stay awake for the replies. So many different pieces of advice...where do I start. Well firstly thanks for replying it means a lot.

Its not that I don't have time, I always make time for him, and email him most days just about stuff in general, but I will admit I do get fed up with no contact from him...Yes I know he doesn't have to reply/respond that his decision, but after a fair few weeks like this, with no idea what is going on, no communication from Sir on any level...you can understand why I thought time out was a good idea (other than it being harder than I expected). To be honest I don't even know if I'm owned or not owned?! (Maybe I'm missing the really obvious point on this and I'm not owned..and Sir has moved on!)

So far its all been an online thing-but we have talked about meeting up, and this is something I'm very excited about...I would meet Sir as soon as he wanted too. I don't want Sir to feel abandoned, thats the last thing I wanted to do, I just didn't want to burden him with some crap that is going on in my life. I said I didn't expect him to wait around, and if he wanted to find another sub/slave then that was for him to decided. I've told him about some things in my life that would explain and help Sir to understand the things I do-so theres nothing hidden anymore. I do trust Sir on lots of things, and his help/support would be amazing I guess I just feel in light of the recent no contact that I can't ask for that from him.

Yes I will admit talking/spending time with Sir is amazing and is something I always crave....sometimes I would sit online and wait for him...sad as that admission is to make.

I think I covered everyones replies...and hope this helps.

submissfifi x

quote:

ORIGINAL: submissfifi

I never ask for help tho-half my problems I think! I've tried to ask for time to talk to him. I've emailed him a link to this post, I don't know if that will help him or not. I guess I just feel abandoned at the moment....33 days no contact...I'm figuring that abandoned has turned into disowned, and I just ain't getting the message.
Submissfifi