my thoughts on the "gift" of submission (Full Version)

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pixieunleashed -> my thoughts on the "gift" of submission (7/17/2004 2:47:48 PM)

Hi E/everyone, this is a piece I wrote a while back, I thought I'd share....

I wanted to share with the group my views on the "gift" of submission. I think the gift of submission is something that is given to the submissive themself, that they can share with their dominant, but not something that you can "give" to them. I liken submission to love. I think that the two are very similar and go hand in hand. I either love somebody or I don't. I have a gift/talent for being submissive, and I am either submissive to someone or I am not. I myself cannot "control" whom I submit to any more than I can control whom I love. Just because you cannot control it, does not mean that one runs around "submitting" to EVERYONE anymore than it means that one "loves" EVERYONE.

I think that the idea of making the act of submission a "gift" that I can give to someone, somehow cheapens it. I cannot "gift" someone with my love. Implying that my love it a gift is an egotistical way of thinking, especially when it is one of those things that either is, or is not. I cannot "reward" someone with loveing them, I either do or do not. I cannot reward someone with submitting to them, I either do or do not. If submission/love is wanted of me, and it is there, and shared with the person that wants it, it would be nice if they would treasure it and hold it dear to their hearts, however, that is not in my control, nor is it my place to expect it. as in any relationship, if both parties are not getting something out of it, the relationship ends, and so if the love and submission I am sharing with my partner is not valued and treasured by them, I will eventually go when I figure out it is not beneficial for me to stay there. However, it is not like I can keep a score card and say....well, I love you so you have to love me back, and I am submissive to you so you have to be dominant back, and if you are not, I can just turn these feelings off, and that is the end of that. How can someone just turn off love like a faucet? Implying that submission is a "gift" that one gives to someone else says that it can be switched off just like that. It is so much more.

The ability to submit is a gift, to me, from my creator. The ability to love, is a gift, to me, by my creator.

I can share these gifts with others, I cannot give them to someone else.

(please bear in mind that I am talking about submission in a relationship sense, not in a play-scene, cause in a play-scene, yes you can choose who to submit to, just as in a play you can choose whom your character "loves")

thank you for your time in reading this, have a great day

pixie



MzBerlin -> RE: my thoughts on the "gift" of submission (7/17/2004 4:53:36 PM)

Hey Pixie!!
I enjoyed your essay! I think that you expressed yourself and your opinions in a clear, concise manner.
As Always-
Berlin



MizSuz -> RE: my thoughts on the "gift" of submission (7/17/2004 7:40:48 PM)

Very well said.

I have a friend who says that submission is a privilege and dominance is a gift. I'm not sure I agree with her entirely, but I can see merits in the argument.

As a dominant woman who has been inundated with inquiries from people who want to submit/serve/play I have reached a point in my life where I am not willing to think of submission as a gift. It's just one side of the coin. Without its compliment it's nothing but an urge.

Don't get me wrong, I have been 'gifted' by some incredible people in my life, but their submission is just one facet of who they are. Their submission is not special if it does not come in conjunction with their s/Self. Not for me, anyway.



pixieunleashed -> RE: my thoughts on the "gift" of submission (7/18/2004 9:24:28 AM)

quote:

I have been 'gifted' by some incredible people in my life,


What a wonderful way to think of people in your life......."people, as "gifts" from the universe" I realize that was probably not what you were referring to, but seeing it put that way, made me think of that.

I think a lot of times it seems that everyone is always worried about the submissives, and their value and making sure they know their value, etc... and Dominants tend to be ignored, or brushed aside, their value being unimportant cause they are "all powerfull" SUPERDOMS.

I think that being Dominant, is as much of a gift to the Dominant as being submissive is as much of a gift to the submissive. They are two sides of the same coin, I hesitate to say without the other they are less, however, I do believe that they do compliment each other very well.

quote:

Their submission is not special if it does not come in conjunction with their s/Self. Not for me, anyway.


Nothing to say to that, but, yeah........

thank you for readint this, have a great day,

pixie



MizSuz -> RE: my thoughts on the "gift" of submission (7/18/2004 9:59:20 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: pixieunleashed

quote:

I have been 'gifted' by some incredible people in my life,


What a wonderful way to think of people in your life......."people, as "gifts" from the universe" I realize that was probably not what you were referring to, but seeing it put that way, made me think of that.

pixie



Actually that was exactly how I meant it. <smile>



pixieunleashed -> RE: my thoughts on the "gift" of submission (7/18/2004 2:14:06 PM)

*runs to post on calander* on THIS day, there was one thing, that I was not totally off base on!!

MizSuz, all I can say is "groovy" [:D]

have a great day,

pixie



angelthighhighs -> RE: my thoughts on the "gift" of submission (7/18/2004 8:37:47 PM)

i have a little different twist on this thought. i don't look at my submission as a gift. we give someone a gift usually with no thoughts of recieving anything in return. but when a submissive offers their submission they at least hope, expect, want, desire the Dominant's dominance in return.



kiki blue -> RE: my thoughts on the "gift" of submission (7/19/2004 3:52:40 AM)

Maybe I'm a little different, but when I give someone a gift, I do expect something back. I expect them to say thank you, and show appreciation. I don't give someone a gift and then think nothing more about it forever. I want them to enjoy it, to use it and be pleased with it.

But I don't look as me submitting as giving someone a gift, it's sharing part of myself with them. It's me being me.



slaveofEstring -> RE: my thoughts on the "gift" of submission (7/19/2004 11:26:38 PM)

I have to disagree with you. We always choose who we love. It may seem like it just happens, but it is a decision you make. Submission is the same way. You decide who to submit to. Otherwise the HNG's would be much more successful in their quest.



Estring -> RE: my thoughts on the "gift" of submission (7/19/2004 11:33:49 PM)

Actually, the prior post was made by me. For some reason it came out as being posted by my slave. Anyway, that is still my opinion.



darbyib6ub9 -> RE: my thoughts on the "gift" of submission (7/20/2004 1:44:03 AM)

Very well said pixie. *Stands up and applauds*[:D] Gives U/us something to think about, as well as a refreshing view. You go girl!



Enlightendgurl -> RE: my thoughts on the "gift" of submission (7/20/2004 3:15:59 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: darbyib6ub9

Very well said pixie. *Stands up and applauds*[:D] Gives U/us something to think about, as well as a refreshing view. You go girl!

gifts of submission quite true ...Gifts that is , I was born a submissive it is my natural state so my Master is my gift , as i see it he is allowing me to be me ... I am his sub which is his gift , but to me giving and being for Master[:)][:)] is by far much better than taking from him or anyone , that is how I get off... I love being allowed to give , that is what brings me joy!

[image]local://upfiles/38700/A322825B2F1C4DB1B1ACB770E7F93EF1.jpg[/image]



pixieunleashed -> RE: my thoughts on the "gift" of submission (7/20/2004 8:14:43 AM)

Ah HA! yes, very true..."technically" everything we do is by choice.....

thanks for calling me on that wording b/s...[:)]

dammit....now I gotta re-write that essay and become more enlightened...

thanks again, have a great day,

pixie



TallDarkAndWitty -> RE: my thoughts on the "gift" of submission (7/20/2004 8:47:48 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: pixieunleashed
Ah HA! yes, very true..."technically" everything we do is by choice.....


I am going to question your new thinking for a bit. Are you sure that everything we do is by choice? Do we breath by choice? Does our blood flow by choice?

I think if we could choose the people we are attracted to, life would be much simpler. We can't. The HNG's have difficulty because they do not know how to display (or are incapable of displaying) the characteristics that submissive women are unconsciously drawn to.

I know I did not choose my compliment...nature or nurture or the fates did...I just enjoy the match.

Yours,
Taggard



muse -> RE: my thoughts on the "gift" of submission (7/20/2004 9:08:56 AM)

We do choose to breath and for our blood to flow. We have the right and ability to end our lives any moment we choose. Not the best karma to send out but it is still a choice. As for the choosing who we love, *sighs* i can only wish this were always true. Many a heart has been broken by loving one who was not capable to return the love.



MzBerlin -> RE: my thoughts on the "gift" of submission (7/20/2004 11:15:43 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Estring

I have to disagree with you. We always choose who we love. It may seem like it just happens, but it is a decision you make. Submission is the same way. You decide who to submit to. Otherwise the HNG's would be much more successful in their quest.


Estring-
I have to disagree with YOU. I don't choose who I love, I submit to those I love (on different levels as the relationship allows.) It's how I'm wired. I do choose the level of my submission in arenas where it's allowed and/or discussed. BDSM is secondary (in my mind) to the love factor, which allows the submission factor.
It's all circular.
As Always
Berlin



Sinergy -> RE: my thoughts on the "gift" of submission (7/20/2004 11:56:29 AM)

quote:

What a wonderful way to think of people in your life......."people, as "gifts" from the universe" I realize that was probably not what you were referring to, but seeing it put that way, made me think of that.


pixieunleashed, this got me thinking.

I dont see submission to me as a gift necessarily from the submissive.

To me every wave crashing on a shore, every sunset, every salad nicoise with dolphin safe tuna, every living creature, etc., are gifts which I feel honored to be a part of in my time here.

The fact that we have chosen to share our paths for a while and be for the other that which completes ourselves is in itself a gift.

Just me, could be wrong.

Sinergy



pixieunleashed -> RE: my thoughts on the "gift" of submission (7/20/2004 1:26:50 PM)

quote:

I dont see submission to me as a gift necessarily from the submissive.



Yep, that's what I said or was trying to...it is not a "gift" from me, it is the ability to do it that is a "gift" to me.

quote:

To me every wave crashing on a shore, every sunset, every salad nicoise with dolphin safe tuna, every living creature, etc., are gifts which I feel honored to be a part of in my time here.

The fact that we have chosen to share our paths for a while and be for the other that which completes ourselves is in itself a gift.


yes, *big grin* that was what I was talking about, all of it. the fact that my creator gave me the "gift" to be able to submit or love, or whatever, and the fact that I can share these "gifts" with someone, but I cannot give them to them.

I feel like we are on the same point, just saying it differently.

thanks for reading this, have a great day,

pixie



pixieunleashed -> RE: my thoughts on the "gift" of submission (7/20/2004 1:39:18 PM)

quote:

I am going to question your new thinking for a bit. Are you sure that everything we do is by choice? Do we breath by choice? Does our blood flow by choice?


I have to think to reply to you, which is why I replied to Sinergy first...no offense ment.

HNG's don't get game cause they act like idiots, and break all social "rules"....they post with "submit to me now slut" and before even knowing anything about you they want to get into sex. I do not think they apply even in this conversatoin.


quote:

I think if we could choose the people we are attracted to, life would be much simpler. We can't.


Touching a belief system here of mine...real brief rundown...I believe that we all contract our lives before we even join our souls to our flesh. Our spirits choose what life we are going to lead, who we will meet, etc....birth erases the memory of the contract and off we go.

I think people can choose to shut their bodies down on their own merit. I have seen too many old people who's partner has died go from "healthy" to dead in months to doubt that.

thanks for reading this, have a great day,

pixie



Sinergy -> RE: my thoughts on the "gift" of submission (7/20/2004 2:00:21 PM)

quote:

HNG's don't get game cause they act like idiots, and break all social "rules"....they post with "submit to me now slut" and before even knowing anything about you they want to get into sex. I do not think they apply even in this conversatoin.


Hello,

There is a game I play called Go, which seems to have some connection in my brain to this thread.

In Go, one plays with white and black stones which dont move from the place they are set, and the goal is to surround territory on the board.

People who just start out in Go generally have a very surface understanding of the game and seek to capture and fortify a small portion of the board, without realizing that every part of the board interacts with every other part. This is referred to as playing hard.

So I will be playing this person who is stridently building their tiny fortress over in one of the 4 corners. I will seldom directly attack this fortress, I will play in other parts of the board, because I know that the piece I play all by himself will eventually be used to solidify my position on the board. This is referred to as playing soft.

When the game is finally over, I will usually win be 200 stones, even if I did not kill their solid formation.

To my mind, an HNG is doing basically the same thing. Stridently standing in their corner trying to build themselves up into an unassailable formation. They dont stop to think about the fact that nobody else even cares about their formation to begin with. They also dont pay any attention to what is going on in the rest of the world around them.

Just me, could be wrong, but there you go.

Sinergy



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