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How to greet a fellow submissive/slave - 10/3/2005 8:47:43 AM

petcerina

Posts: 143
Joined: 4/4/2005
Status: offline

i've been in the Lifestyle for a few years now and i'm starting to meet some people in real life. i make a true effort to be polite, courteous and sincere. i like having a sense of ritual and class to what i do and how i greet people. When i meet other Dom/mes, i usually look downwards and offer my hand for a handshake, or hug depending on how well i know Them. i'll end the conversation with, "It was nice to meet You, Sir/Miss." and continue on. When i was faced with meeting a fellow submissive or slave, i became stuck. i couldn't figure out something that i could do to be sincere and courteous. i know i'm probably overcomplicating this, but i really would like some input. i asked my Master if He knew of anything, and He did not. Anyone have any ideas? i eagerly await your input. Thank you in advance.

< Message edited by petcerina -- 10/3/2005 8:48:36 AM >

Post #: 1

RE: How to greet a fellow submissive/slave - 10/3/2005 8:51:16 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

I don't know. But some of the protocol is ridiculous, I'm just not into it.

(in reply to petcerina)

Post #: 2

RE: How to greet a fellow submissive/slave - 10/3/2005 9:00:51 AM

JohnWarren

Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: petcerina

i've been in the Lifestyle for a few years now and i'm starting to meet some people in real life. i make a true effort to be polite, courteous and sincere. i like having a sense of ritual and class to what i do and how i greet people. When i meet other Dom/mes, i usually look downwards and offer my hand for a handshake, or hug depending on how well i know Them. i'll end the conversation with, "It was nice to meet You, Sir/Miss." and continue on. When i was faced with meeting a fellow submissive or slave, i became stuck. i couldn't figure out something that i could do to be sincere and courteous. i know i'm probably overcomplicating this, but i really would like some input. i asked my Master if He knew of anything, and He did not. Anyone have any ideas? i eagerly await your input. Thank you in advance.

Your best approach is to find a group with a specific protocol or start one yourself. There are a lot of people who enjoy this sort of thing, but it's unwise to try to drag random people, even scene people, into YOUR scene.

I've had people drop to their knees and kiss my hand or my shoe at some events and, frankly, it's uncomfortable for me and uncomfortable for Libby who often is ignored. If we know this is the "law of the land" for the group we can decide to attend or not to attend but when it is thrust unexpectedly upon us in "scene public," it grates.

There is no overall protocol, as I'm sure you know, beyond what you've outlined. However, groups can create their own protocol. Just look at the Goreans. That's perfectly valid.

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to petcerina)

Post #: 3

RE: How to greet a fellow submissive/slave - 10/3/2005 9:16:43 AM

Evanesce

Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: petcerina

i've been in the Lifestyle for a few years now and i'm starting to meet some people in real life. i make a true effort to be polite, courteous and sincere. i like having a sense of ritual and class to what i do and how i greet people. When i meet other Dom/mes, i usually look downwards and offer my hand for a handshake, or hug depending on how well i know Them. i'll end the conversation with, "It was nice to meet You, Sir/Miss." and continue on. When i was faced with meeting a fellow submissive or slave, i became stuck. i couldn't figure out something that i could do to be sincere and courteous. i know i'm probably overcomplicating this, but i really would like some input. i asked my Master if He knew of anything, and He did not. Anyone have any ideas? i eagerly await your input. Thank you in advance.

A simple handshake and a "Pleased to meet you," is both courteous and sincere (sincere, that is, if you genuinely ARE pleased to meet them). What more is needed?

Different groups do things differently, but all the lifestyle, in-person groups to which I belong are very casual when meeting at munches and the like. More structured events may seem to require somewhat higher protocol, but I've never seen it as "mandatory."

Denise
the Kaptin's wench

(in reply to petcerina)

Post #: 4

RE: How to greet a fellow submissive/slave - 10/3/2005 9:54:23 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Treat everyone just as you would if you were in a vanilla scenario. Unless you are specifically introduced to someone as "This is Master Kevin and this is his slave Sarah" then it's a gamble that you even know who is sub and who is dom and all the other things.

A simple hello, handshake and pleased to meet you is more than adequate.

If you find yourself amongst a group of people who practice strict protocol, take it upon yourself to ask someone politely what it is OR just watch closely.

Try and imagine meeting me and all my partners if we were together at a partner "Hi, I'm a slave who tops, this is my boy, this is my owner, this is my Boston partner, this is my boyfriend, this is a lover of mine, thats his slave girlfriend, that's the owners sub who is a dominant and my Boston partners wife, that's my boy's other girlfriend, here are my boyfriends roommates who both switch."

And that's if you're lucky enough to GET an explanantion out of us...which we only do if specifically asked. Otherwise you just get our names.

So, just use the same vanilla manners you've always used and you will be fine. Oh and it IS ok to call a sub sir or maam, they won't burn you at the stake.

(in reply to Evanesce)

Post #: 5

RE: How to greet a fellow submissive/slave - 10/3/2005 10:03:58 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

Anyone have any ideas?

this slave has seen a bit of controvesy over the use of "sister", so she wouldn't suggest it right out the gate. personally, this slave follows the protocol that Master has instructed her to use. it differs with regards to the situation, vanilla or flavored. what tends to confuse this slave is the "scene names" people come up with versus their real names. it is usually a good idea to ask which they prefer as you get to know them better or if you happen to know both.

(in reply to petcerina)

Post #: 6

RE: How to greet a fellow submissive/slave - 10/3/2005 11:00:15 AM

plantlady64

Posts: 755
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline

Hello There,
I attend a lot of social functions. My friends I greet with hugs and kisses on the cheek, new people with handshakes. I find like Emerald said it's pretty much the same as meeting vanilla people overall.
The only people I call Sir or Master are people I know well enough to feel they live up to the honor of the title. To some it may not be very submissive of me, but it works for me.
I advise to just be yourself & be polite just like when you meet any person.
Sincerely,
sub suzanne

(in reply to petcerina)

Post #: 7

RE: How to greet a fellow submissive/slave - 10/3/2005 1:16:12 PM

mossy

Posts: 189
Joined: 2/21/2005
Status: offline

When meeting a fellow slave, i use the same manners: politeness and respect, i would want that slave to use with me.....

_____________________________

~~inner peace & mental clarity~~

(in reply to plantlady64)

Post #: 8

RE: How to greet a fellow submissive/slave - 10/3/2005 3:42:44 PM

sweetpettjenny

Posts: 674
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline

just a simple" hello nice to meet you" I found that most Dominants really don't care for anyone touching their property , so i simply don't.

(in reply to petcerina)

Post #: 9

RE: How to greet a fellow submissive/slave - 10/3/2005 4:01:12 PM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

I would say hello i am Kris and offer a handshake unles i knoew them really well then its usaullay a hug. I always think it is better to err on the side of formality than to be too familer.

littleone

(i really can't spell)

(in reply to petcerina)

Post #: 10

RE: How to greet a fellow submissive/slave - 10/3/2005 6:53:13 PM

petcerina

Posts: 143
Joined: 4/4/2005
Status: offline

Thank Y/you all for Y/your input and advice. It was quite helpful.

(in reply to petcerina)

Post #: 11

RE: How to greet a fellow submissive/slave - 10/3/2005 6:59:08 PM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Say hello as you would any individual on the street.

Hopefully you have better outings than I first had. I broke up with my dom after
ten year's of being together before I ever went to my first munch/social.
What an eye opener. Things sure have changed in the last ten year's...for the better.

People look normal today...back then they all looked like freaks.

(in reply to petcerina)

Post #: 12

RE: How to greet a fellow submissive/slave - 10/3/2005 9:00:19 PM

denimknight

Posts: 38
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline

I guess the best thing to do is greet them the way you would any other equal. If you wish to be a bit less informal then you can give it an aire of professional distance. More than anything else just be genuine.

As a side note maybe it's just me but identifying as a slave nothing annoys me more than when another in a submissive roll addresses me with a term reserved for a dominant. If they are unaware of my status that’s one thing, but if they know my status then calling me "sir" or something along the same lines just becomes cheesy at best and down right insulting at worst.

But hey maybe that’s just me

Respectfully submitted
dk

(in reply to petcerina)

Post #: 13

RE: How to greet a fellow submissive/slave - 10/4/2005 12:51:43 AM

imtempting

Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline

When meeting others in the lifestyle I find hello works pretty good. Unless instructed otherwise they are just another person on the street.

(in reply to petcerina)

Post #: 14

RE: How to greet a fellow submissive/slave - 10/4/2005 5:00:47 AM

Quivver

Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

Add me in with the others Petcerina, bottom line is people are people be it in or out of this lifestyle. You may prefer the *ritual* in some way as an aid to you, yet that kind of protocal
for me comes off as stiff and uncomfortable. Theres nothing wrong with being polite, but
I look for warm over proper.

just my .02
Q

quote:

ORIGINAL: petcerina

i've been in the Lifestyle for a few years now and i'm starting to meet some people in real life. i make a true effort to be polite, courteous and sincere. i like having a sense of ritual and class to what i do and how i greet people. When i meet other Dom/mes, i usually look downwards and offer my hand for a handshake, or hug depending on how well i know Them. i'll end the conversation with, "It was nice to meet You, Sir/Miss." and continue on. When i was faced with meeting a fellow submissive or slave, i became stuck. i couldn't figure out something that i could do to be sincere and courteous. i know i'm probably overcomplicating this, but i really would like some input. i asked my Master if He knew of anything, and He did not. Anyone have any ideas? i eagerly await your input. Thank you in advance.

_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to petcerina)

Post #: 15

RE: How to greet a fellow submissive/slave - 10/4/2005 6:11:51 AM

nephandi

Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline

What aboute saying hi i am.....nice to meet you?

(in reply to Quivver)

Post #: 16

RE: How to greet a fellow submissive/slave - 10/4/2005 10:20:16 AM

lonewolf05

Posts: 830
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline

normally i just say hey...how ya doin?

ya need a can o' soda, tea? coffee?
ya ate today or been too busy? i can make ya something...
find a spot and sit and relax.
i got ya covered. anything ya need, just ask.

woofie

_____________________________

"there is no gravity, life sucks!"

(in reply to petcerina)

Post #: 17

RE: How to greet a fellow submissive/slave - 10/4/2005 2:30:45 PM

Hallittlelolita

Posts: 253
Joined: 8/11/2005
Status: offline

Just say hi or hello nice to meet you, that's it be friendly towards them. We/we do some protocals but i agree with KatyLied some protocals are ridiculous. Just act the way how you would want to be treated

Sincerely andie and her Master Hal

(in reply to petcerina)

Post #: 18

RE: How to greet a fellow submissive/slave - 10/4/2005 5:58:49 PM

petcerina

Posts: 143
Joined: 4/4/2005
Status: offline

*giggles* i think i like yours best lone wolf. got me to laugh at myself. thanks :)

(in reply to Hallittlelolita)

Post #: 19

RE: How to greet a fellow submissive/slave - 10/4/2005 6:53:43 PM

ProtagonistLily

Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

i've been in the Lifestyle for a few years now and i'm starting to meet some people in real life. i make a true effort to be polite, courteous and sincere. i like having a sense of ritual and class to what i do and how i greet people. When i meet other Dom/mes, i usually look downwards and offer my hand for a handshake, or hug depending on how well i know Them. i'll end the conversation with, "It was nice to meet You, Sir/Miss." and continue on. When i was faced with meeting a fellow submissive or slave, i became stuck. i couldn't figure out something that i could do to be sincere and courteous. i know i'm probably overcomplicating this, but i really would like some input. i asked my Master if He knew of anything, and He did not. Anyone have any ideas? i eagerly await your input. Thank you in advance.

Well, "Hi, nice to meet you," always works for me with other submissives. If they are clearly with a dominant, and I don't know the couple, one of 2 things can occur: (for sake of brevity, I'm using the Male/female example, but Fem Domme/male sub is interchangable)

A) If my Dom is present, he will usually take care of the introductions. He'll introduce himself to the Dom, and then introduce me as his submissive. He let's the other Dom decide whether to introduce his submissive and we assume if he introduces her, I can speak to her.

B) If I'm alone, I will introduce myself to the Dominant first, and ask if I may speak to his girl. This for me serves two purposes: 1) there may be protocol I'm not aware of between the couple and it's better for me to negotiate through him first, and 2) if he is a jerk, then I know up front and I steer clear of them.

If it's a single submissive, I just walk over, and introduce myself. Generally they follow suit.

I don't do the downcast eyes or such when meeting other people because that's not who I am. I'm a woman who happens to be a submissive. I don't feel that downcasting my eyes has any baring on whether I'm a well trained submissive or not. I've seen a lot of girls do the down cast eyes and other affectations in an attempt to present themselves as submissive when they didn't have a clue about what it was about. I'm not saying you don't, but I tend to see those kinds of things as 'parlour tricks."

If you want people in the community to respect you, you might want to think about giving your time to your local organization, picking up after a party, RSVPing to events and asking if there's anything you can do or bring to be helpful. Those types of things will drive your stock up much more than a quiet voice and downcast eyes. At least, in my circles.

Lily

_____________________________

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
~Dr. Seuss~

(in reply to petcerina)

Post #: 20

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