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that's just rude! - 3/30/2008 8:47:35 AM   
velvetluxe


Posts: 22
Joined: 1/6/2008
Status: offline 		I was perusing collarme this evening and came across a particular gentleman's profile. I liked the sound of him so added him to my favourites. Minutes later I receive a message from him beginning with "Hey fella..." and basically implying that I was male and couldn't possibly be contacting him because "21 yr old Eurasians don't contact guys my age and generally don't have a good grasp on English grammar." He also suggested I need to redo my profile to make it more convincing and don't try to lift photos off the net at they look too fake. Now, it's all well and good if you've had some bad experiences with people saying they are something they are not, but how does he square making generalisations about an entire race/demographic AND accusing me of being male without my having said a word to him? Honestly, I found the whole email quite insulting; considering I AM a 21 yr old Eurasian submissive, who happens to enjoy being with older men/Doms.

Some viewers might think I'm taking this too personally, but I find it incredulous that someone would not only make those assumptions from nothing more than my profile but also go to the trouble of sending me rude missives. Sorry, had to vent and wanted to know if I'm being too sensitive.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: that's just rude! - 3/30/2008 8:50:55 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline 		 The way i look at you have no control over others, but you DO have control over how others affect you. Let it go, it is not worth your energy.

(in reply to velvetluxe)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: that's just rude! - 3/30/2008 8:52:12 AM   
Deliena


Posts: 623
Joined: 6/16/2007
From: Darlington, United Kingdom
Status: offline 		It does sounds like you're getting the rough end of previous bad experiences, however you won't be the first and you won't be the last person to end up in that situation.

Depending on how much this guy does for you can a) persue and persuade or b) cut your losses and continue browsing.

Good luck whatever choice you make

(in reply to velvetluxe)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: that's just rude! - 3/30/2008 8:56:48 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		The bloke who messaged you was simply making a big statement how ignorant and how biggoted he is I.E. He told you he is a shit head and to ignor mhim because is is no Master.

Iron Bear
Master of Bruin Cottage
(A Victorian Lifestyle poly home)

"I judge a Man by what I see him do and not by what others tell me he does."
(Captain Sir Edward Pellew of the HMS Indefatigable to Midshipman Hornblower ~ C.S. Forrester)


(in reply to Deliena)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: that's just rude! - 3/30/2008 8:57:22 AM   
mzbehavin


Posts: 253
Joined: 1/15/2008
Status: offline 		Hi velvet~ Thats happened to me before as well. And i'm 37. Try to look at it like a compliment! Someone thinks you're too good to be true. And he will never know what he missed~ xox

(in reply to Deliena)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: that's just rude! - 3/30/2008 8:59:24 AM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline 		Three simple observations:

An insult is like a drink.  It affects you only if you accept it.

His statement is vastly more revealing as to who he is rather than who you are.

His loss.

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to velvetluxe)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: that's just rude! - 3/30/2008 9:00:13 AM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline 		dont worry...we're all fakes....until we can go on cam, or phone, or meet...according to profiles that i read anyway... 

_____________________________

I did not reply to your cmail.
I am flawed.
Imperfect.
MUST SPANK!!!
SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: that's just rude! - 3/30/2008 9:00:32 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mzbehavin

Hi velvet~ Thats happened to me before as well. And i'm 37. Try to look at it like a compliment! Someone thinks you're too good to be true. And he will never know what he missed~ xox


*Nods*

I wouldnt worry about it to be honest hun, just ignore him he is making a hell of a statement about who he is, just think at least you didnt waste your time getting to know him!


_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to mzbehavin)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: that's just rude! - 3/30/2008 9:01:32 AM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		Assholes are everywhere.  Try not to let them get you down.

However, I for one, do not accept 'Friends' invitations from people who have never sent me a message.  If you wanna be my friend, then you have to be friendly first.  Perhaps that was where you went 'wrong' in that person's eye.

(in reply to mzbehavin)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: that's just rude! - 3/30/2008 9:07:42 AM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: faerytattoodgirl

dont worry...we're all fakes....until we can go on cam, or phone, or meet...according to profiles that i read anyway... 


See I don't believe you are real untill you are on Cam while ALSO being on the Phone with me while then taking a Blood Sample and DNA sample and sending it to the CSI Guys to have you oclassified as real.

So faerytattoodgirl, What's you Phone number and get the Cam loaded I will need you to get a Sterile Flebotamists (SP?) Needle and a Vial and Call Gill Grissam untill then you just aren't real.

I am Curious however how figments of my imagination type on these forums...... WAIT can ANYONE else Read these Forums?? How Insane am I???

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: that's just rude! - 3/30/2008 9:08:18 AM   
sabirah


Posts: 97
Status: offline 		Perhaps a polite asking, Do you mind, if I add you to my favorite's list?
(might help).
I know that I have a few admirers that I wish I could remove from my list.
I personally ask, but thats my choice. 

_____________________________

sincerely,
sabirah

The room is silent, absolutely silent, except for the decisive click of the collar lock.
It is a sound the girl will never forget.





(in reply to velvetluxe)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: that's just rude! - 3/30/2008 9:10:53 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		I dont see why it matters, even if they arent admirers they can still look at your profile, being an admirer just makes it that bit easier.

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to sabirah)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: that's just rude! - 3/30/2008 9:11:33 AM   
MissHarlet


Posts: 2728
Joined: 9/11/2005
From: El Paso , TX US
Status: offline 		The Ignore feature is our friend !!

_____________________________

Protectress of hearts/souls of all submissives calling Bounty's Place home, by order of Bounty~Proprietor

To be respected you must be respectful, to be loved you must be willing to love,
to be trusted you must be willing to trust.

(in reply to sabirah)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: that's just rude! - 3/30/2008 9:15:34 AM   
Deliena


Posts: 623
Joined: 6/16/2007
From: Darlington, United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah
Flebotamists (SP?) Needle and a Vial and Call Gill Grissam untill then you just aren't real.


<pedanic mode on> Phlebotomists <pedandic mode off>

(in reply to SteelofUtah)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: that's just rude! - 3/30/2008 9:21:36 AM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		Thank you Deliena, I am just too lazy to hit that stupid Spell Check before I post.

**Just did and it wants me to download software**

I am too lazy to type this all out in Word and then Copy Paste over to here.

Either way I thank you for the Spelling Lesson and I doubt I will have remembered that the next time I try to incorrectly spell that word.



Steel



_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to Deliena)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: that's just rude! - 3/30/2008 9:23:40 AM   
Deliena


Posts: 623
Joined: 6/16/2007
From: Darlington, United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

Thank you Deliena, I am just too lazy to hit that stupid Spell Check before I post.

**Just did and it wants me to download software**

I am too lazy to type this all out in Word and then Copy Paste over to here.

Either way I thank you for the Spelling Lesson and I doubt I will have remembered that the next time I try to incorrectly spell that word.



Steel




LOL I wouldn't d/l software either - I just type the word into Google in a different tab and it asks me whether I meant the right spelling really hahahaha

(in reply to SteelofUtah)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: that's just rude! - 3/30/2008 9:36:18 AM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline 		sorry steel..only 4 people on cm have my phone # and they're all women.

_____________________________

I did not reply to your cmail.
I am flawed.
Imperfect.
MUST SPANK!!!
SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

(in reply to SteelofUtah)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: that's just rude! - 3/30/2008 9:44:31 AM   
AS11


Posts: 45
Joined: 2/17/2008
Status: offline 		One cannot remain in this community for any length of time and doubt the validity of there being throwbacks in the evolution process. Or swiftly come to recognizen the keyboard cowards, regardless of gender and/or self-appointed titles.

(in reply to MissHarlet)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: that's just rude! - 3/30/2008 10:38:08 AM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		You guys are looking at this all wrong.  This is now an open invitation to view this guy's full profile every single day just to annoy the snot out of him. 

And by the way, "favorites" and "friends" aren't the same thing. If you want someone off your "admirers" list (meaning you're on that person's favorites list), just mark them "hidden" on their profile. Then they won't show up on your admirers list and you don't have to look at them.

HelpfulCali
(2nd helpful post in a row this morning... you would think I got laid or sumthin' - alas, not true)


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to AS11)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: that's just rude! - 3/30/2008 11:11:30 AM   
UncleNasty


Posts: 1108
Joined: 3/20/2004
Status: offline 		Rude behavior by others is never pleasant. I'm always saddened to hear others are having to deal with it.

Several posted here about his behavior making louder statements about himself than of you. That is true. It makes another statement too. A statement about the rude and/or deceptive behavior others have treated him with. From the sound of it there has been a lot of that. While I don't condone or excuse his behavior, or the way he responded to you, I do acknowledge his past pains and the possibility that he has come to his own rude behavior "honestly," as it were.

That being said it doesn't matter how any of us come by our own poor behaviors, whether we act in those ways with intention or not, whether we are aware of it or not. An old greek saying: "Though the boys throw rocks in jest, the frogs still die in earnest."

Most of us come by our "stuff" honestly. I got mine that way. I am in continuous process of review and inspection of my stuff and am actively trying to "unlearn" what I have been erroneously taught. Aren't we all trying to recover from childhood, LOL?

I'm sorry he treated you poorly.

Be well, live free,

Uncle Nasty


(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 20
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