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Maya2001 -> RE: When an Ex-Master Calls..... (4/7/2008 6:10:07 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: trueshadow
quote:
ORIGINAL: adoracat
i second this. i was there for fallcon the 4 months it took for cancer to take him from me. it is NOT a good place to have to be when you are absolutely sure you want to be there for the person in the process of dying.
i can imagine it would be much much worse if you were only guilted into doing it. guilt is not a motivation for performing loving duties. ever.
kitten
Wow! I've read every one of the posts here. What a hard-hearted group of people! I've taken care of my mother when she was very sick. I did the same for my father. I've dropped everything to sit by my ex-girlfriend's side while she was on a ventilator in the ICU.
I'm glad for everyone who posted here. I have a much greater insight into your hearts than I have had before.
It's enough to make me choose vanilla.
Maybe this is why kinky folks have never worked out for me.
BTW, I rescue animals, I give money to many causes, the homeless to veterans to orphans to whales to baby seals.
But, as statistics have borne out time and time again, liberals are quite stingy with charity. Conservatives are much more generous. I don't know why that is, but I see a glimpse here.
I've just learned a heck of a lot in the past 20 minutes, more so than in years of being in the community.
Hmmm your not the only other person in life to offer aid , and not everyone is worthy of receiving charity, and I consider myself liberal not conservative. I also have volunteered in animal rescue doing the hands on stuff such as fostering, transporting, caring rehab, training , assessments, adoption of special needs hard to adopt animals etc as well as financial aid in the form of monetary, gifts and doing fund raising auctions and sponsorship, walkathons plus payroll deductions.
But in doing charity work one has to use wisdom and learn how to make the best use of their time... it is easy to go overboard, burn yourself out, or not make good use of your charity such that you limit your or simply end up destroying yourself so that you end up hit a road block that ends you ability to continue offering aid. I have seen people get way in over their heads rescuing animals to the point that the animals then need to be rescued from the rescuer becasue they became incapable of handling so many and could not finacially care for them so the entire group was put in jeopardy. So when volunteering to help one also needs to know where to draw the line, as you are not going be of help longterm if you ending up drowning yourself in the process. So it does requiring using some common sense to know how to deliver the help most effectively. over the longterm without crippling yourself in the process, I also do some screening before making the decision to give for charity, not all aid giving is well used many including animal rights groups line their pockets with the donations with little to no direct aid to the animals they claim they are wanting to help and some of the biggest groups are the worst, so I am very selective on who I am going to help inorder that my aid is not just going to be taken advantage of. which is one of the points of OP has to has herself is the person asking for aid going to take advantage of.
The OP can still be of assistance if she chooses and if he will accept without having to making a total commitment to him in what she already knows would be unhealthy for her and would end up ruining her own long term goals, and how can it be good decision if in the end it ruins her future and possibly prevents her of being of aid to others or worse yet in the ending maybe put in a position where she will be the one requiring aid to extract her out of the situation.
Here is a good example of a situation I refused to provide aid, I sometimes offer help with funding for medical care for an injured animal through auctions, the owner lived right next to rural highway and had a young dog that was hit by a car and severly injured needing several thousand for surgery ,,, the owner went as far as writing a newspaper editorial fully blaming the driver for speeding. Now my reason for refusing was that the owner accepted no blame of their own, even if the drivers had been going half the speed limit and a dog dashes out in front chances are it would get killed in this story the dog is damned lucky to be alive regardless of the speed of the driver even if tit had been hit at 15 mph the result could have been a dead dog, since the owner was not willing to accept responsibility that they could have prevented to accident by ensuring the dog was preventing being on the highway meant they probably would continue to let the dog run at large even after a successful surgery so as good chance the dog will get killed or injured again so by offering aid I am not helping that animal instead subjecting it to further owner irresponsibility and likely future pain of been hit again , the dog at the time was under the care of the vet so pain was managed, they were not poverty cases or living on a fixed goverment income and were living better off financially then myself, just were not willing to make the sacrifices themselves which further irked me to no end....to me they were irresponsible jerks willing to take advantage of others, so to me not worthy of recieving charity and would not have brought me joy in helping only left me with the basd taste of being used. . Instead I ended up helping an adoption group that needed food desperately as they had been impacted by one of the Florida hurricanes so helped roughly 40 dogs eat for a month and provided aid toward a dog that broke its leg. Sometimes you have to make hard decisions and be willing to say no inorder to make the best use of yourself and accept not everyone is worthy of receiving charity, and from the situation the OP has described it sure as heck does not seem like the Dom in question is worthy of charity but is using the situation to take advantage of her especially when he has no confirmation yet that he does in fact have cancer nevermind whether it is life threatening and having cancer does not have to mean death sentence or does it necessarily make you an invalid ... I am still here today 25 years afte my diagnosis with ovarian cancer doing well and successfully without needing a caretaker... came home from surgery and cared for my then 3 year old son on my own and there is a whole lot more cancer support services around today than there was 25 years ago.
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