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bamabbwsub -> The Callback (or Not!) (3/30/2008 7:14:31 PM)
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Hello, all,
I wasn't sure where to post this, but I guess since I'm wanting more of a man's POV, this was the most logical place. It doesn't involve aspects of BDSM so much as just behavior in general. And ladies, I'm sure that some of you have gone through similar things, so feel free to pipe in also! :)
Here are a couple of recent scenarios that I've encountered:
A man contacts me and introduces himself with a very nice, informative, long e-mail. He's attractive, educated, intelligent, etc. I get really excited about him. He tells me that he has to go out of the country for a week and won't be in touch. No problem there. He gets back in town and calls me, but he's very busy and getting ready to go on another business trip, so it's a rather short phone call. He says he'll call me when he gets back in town, which is a week later. Again, no problem. I'm a white-collar (no pun intended...ha!) professional and understand how the job works. For a week after he is back in town, he doesn't call or write -- but he logs on to CM every day. I finally send him a respectful e-mail and tell him that he seems too busy for a relationship and/or he just isn't all that into me, and I wish him luck with his search. He e-mails me back and says that he didn't call or e-mail because when he got back to the office, everything was crazy, then he got a cold, etc., but that he was still *very* interested. My response was that I felt that if he really was as interested as he said, in the age of cell phones and e-mail, he could have contacted me at some point over the 3 weeks since we had first exchanged e-mails. He never replied to that.
The second scenario involves a man who e-mailed me, we liked each other, etc., and I gave him my phone number on a Tuesday. I didn't get a phone call from him, and by Sunday, I'll admit that I was a bit put out (probably due to the first scenario). I e-mailed him and said that if he wasn't interested, that was okay, but please just let me know so that I wouldn't be expecting a phone call. He e-mailed me back and politely told me that he had been out of town for the Easter holiday weekend and that's why he hadn't called.
I do understand that there are people out there who are probably just phone number collectors, married, etc. I don't think these guys were, but of course it's possible (this is the Internet, after all). But this is a very common thing that happens frequently not only to me, but also to some of my female friends, so I'd appreciate a man's view on it.
My ultimate questions are these: Men, when a woman gives you her phone number, is it unrealistic of her to expect a phone call within a certain amount of time? And if you can't call, is it unrealistic for her to expect an e-mail explaining why you haven't called yet?
To me, it just seems like common courtesy that if you get a phone number, you should use it within a few days -- even if it's just to touch base and say hello -- instead of leaving a woman wondering what the heck happened.
Sorry this has been so long, but I wanted to give you a complete scenario to see if I'm being unrealistic about the calling/not calling thing.
Thanks in advance for your inputs!
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