Training a Partner

Training a Partner (Full Version)

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Riesa -> Training a Partner (3/31/2008 2:02:35 PM)
Not sure if this is the right forum to post this in but here goes. I have had an interest in Bdsm and Dom/Sub Relationships. I had a previous partner who got me interested but we played a while, then we split, But before I had any chance to explore further. I met my current partner, we have been together a year, he know about my interests, but we havent took it further. He would like to 'play' with me and wants to Dominate me, but we don't know where to start with him learning so to speak. I have been a member here a while. Anyway, any directions of something to read, or a website to start him off, he really isnt into trawling the internet, he is a bit of a 'net phobe' anyway thanks for your help in advance. Riesa

faithfulfemme -> RE: Training a Partner (3/31/2008 2:08:14 PM)
Here's some fairly good books on the subject: Screw The Roses, Send Me the Thorns by Philip Miller and Molly Devon SM 101 by Jay Wiseman Master's Manual by Jack Rinella Sensuous Magic by Patrick Califia Different Loving by Gloria G. Brame The Loving Dominant by John Warren, Ph.D The Topping Book by Dossie Easton and Catherine A. Listz A good website, CastleRealm.com Others may have better and/or different sources, but this collection worked for a friend of mine just starting out as a Dom. Good Luck.... edited for typoitis

Riesa -> RE: Training a Partner (3/31/2008 2:20:13 PM)
Thanks for that, I will have a look, I forgot to add, My partner before I met him was in a very 'plain' long term relationship, being honest he has led a very sheltered life, and he certainly had his eyes opened meeting me so to speak. Riesa.

LadyPaige -> RE: Training a Partner (3/31/2008 2:45:56 PM)
CastleRealm seems to be defunct. I think I read somewhere that there was a death. Anway, can anyone reccommend another comprehensive site like it since that is where I used to send newbies.

LadyPact -> RE: Training a Partner (3/31/2008 2:49:53 PM)
You might try a site, that I believe is subdomfriends. (I'm sure I have the title wrong, so someone please correct Me.) The last time I visited there, I remember there were quite a few articles.

SimplyMichael -> RE: Training a Partner (3/31/2008 2:52:19 PM)
Lucky for everyone CastleRealm is defunct. Pick up a copy of Screw the Roses, it is a great intro with great pictures. After that I would recomend The Wild Side of Sex by Midori

LadyHathor -> RE: Training a Partner (3/31/2008 3:13:01 PM)
*normally SimplyMichael I agree with you, but I have huge issues with Midori and Her stolen material----* *A Different Loving gives a different perspective* *S&M: The Final Taboo bu Gerald Greene* *good reading!*

SteelofUtah -> RE: Training a Partner (3/31/2008 3:29:38 PM)
slavecraft. Good Book. Screw the roses is best for SM Style relationships and doesn't focus much on D/s relationships and slavecraft deals much more with the daily ins and outs of a D/s Relationship As Always Steel

LadyHathor -> RE: Training a Partner (3/31/2008 3:39:20 PM)
*steel who wrote slavecraft, I am very interested in that one---*

SteelofUtah -> RE: Training a Partner (3/31/2008 3:47:54 PM)
It is Guy Baldwins New Book Pretty good too it deals with things on both sides and is probably just as good for a Dom to read as it is for a sub Also Dr Rubels Books on Protocols are Good as well

SNoB -> RE: Training a Partner (3/31/2008 4:45:51 PM)
Is he looking for information on playing, or living a D/s life? I'd say start with SM101. Try to attend as many local workshops and events if its about play. You cant teach someone to be "dominant". You can only hone instincts.

Madame4a -> RE: Training a Partner (3/31/2008 4:46:48 PM)
I'll add my one fav book, in addition to some of the good ones mentioned... Guy Baldwin's Ties That Bind ... I love that one... But I really do suggest that you don't rely solely on books -- please see if you can find some like minded folks in your area to talk to.. events, munches... meetings... those will help too... nothing like live people to bounce things off of

SimplyMichael -> RE: Training a Partner (3/31/2008 5:28:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHathor *normally SimplyMichael I agree with you, but I have huge issues with Midori and Her stolen material----* Who exactly did Midori steal from and what exactly do you think she stole? I have never heard a bad word whispered about her and I can't think of any books that come close to anything she has done.

DesFIP -> RE: Training a Partner (3/31/2008 6:00:49 PM)
Gather some household implements and let him experiment. Hairbrush, wooden spoons, chopsticks, bamboo skewers, little hair clips, mint toothpaste, listerine strips, etc. Warn him not to hit bony bits and that he has to be careful to listen to you if you say there's a problem ie hand going numb or cramp. Ask him to think about what interests him, tying girls up, or hitting them and making them cry. Keeping you on the edge of orgasm so you're writhing constantly and pleading to be allowed to cum or being made to orgasm over and over until you beg to stop. Jay Wiseman's Erotic Bondage for safety with tying. Additionally you could write down things you want to try when you see them and stick the index cards into a big jar. He reads through the ideas and tosses the ones he doesn't like the idea of and then chooses which to do. You'll know that it won't be something that squicks you, and he'll decide what and when. You can bet on the outcome of a baseball game. If your team wins, you get to pick the activity of your choice. If his wins, he gets to pick it.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Training a Partner (3/31/2008 6:45:06 PM)
Have you tried talking to eachother about what you want and just DOING some of it together?

Riesa -> RE: Training a Partner (4/2/2008 4:56:13 AM)
I already have a very large collection of ''toys' one of my friends referred to my box of toys as a 'tack' room. I have been through Amazon, and also Ebay so got some reading coming, thanks to everyone on here, I already have Screw the Roses, I forgot i had that book. Will have to find it out. Thanks again. Riesa

Archer -> RE: Training a Partner (4/2/2008 5:37:45 AM)
Guy Baldwin's Slavecraft is hardly new (2002), but it is a pretty good read. I also enjoyed his Ties That Bind that is a collection of his old Articles from magazines. Different Loving was a wonderfull book but it's approach was quite academic, it reads very much like a college textbook. Love, Gloria Brame, and recomend the book but not for a newbie unless they are academicly bent. There are some pretty good newbie type web articles on her website though. Screw The Roses to me always seemed to be a good newbie book. The Topping book and The Bottoming book have almost always gotten good reviews from people I trust, but have not added them to my collection yet.

switchmt -> RE: Training a Partner (4/8/2008 8:28:07 AM)
There is a new edition of The Loving Dominant by John Warren, Ph.D.. has anyone given it a try? I have the old edition myself.

BRNaughtyAngel -> RE: Training a Partner (4/8/2008 9:41:00 AM)
http://xeromag.com/fvbdsm.html There's some good stuff for newbies on this site.

Daddyslilpookie -> RE: Training a Partner (4/8/2008 10:09:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross Have you tried talking to eachother about what you want and just DOING some of it together? I agree with LuckyAlbatross on this one. This is how Master and I started and He learned on his own by experimenting with me, because he is the type to just do and not read about it.

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