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SeeksOnlyOne -> well....some of its the truth (4/1/2008 1:10:15 PM)
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> > DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS
> >
> > 40-ish - 49
> > Adventurous - Slept with everyone
> > Athletic - No tits
> > Average looking - Ugly
> > Beautiful - Pathological liar
> > Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills
> > Emotionally secure - On medication
> > Feminist - Fat
> > Free spirit - Junkie
> > Friendship first - Former very *friendly* person
> > Fun - Annoying
> > New Age - Body hair in the wrong places
> > Open-minded - Desperate
> > Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing
> > Passionate - Sloppy drunk
> > Professional - Bitch
> > Voluptuous - Very Fat
> > Large frame - Hugely Fat
> > Wants Soul mate - Stalker
> >
> > WOMEN'S ENGLISH
> >
> > 1. Yes = No
> > 2. No = Yes
> > 3. Maybe = No
> > 4. We need = I want
> > 5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
> > 6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
> > 7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
> > 8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
> > 9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron!
> > 10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?
> >
> > MEN'S ENGLISH
> >
> > 1. I am hungry = I am hungry
> > 2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
> > 3. I am tired = I am tired
> > 4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
> > 5. I love you = let's have sex now
> > 6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
> > 7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
> > 8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
> > 9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
> > 10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
> > 11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay
> >
> > And finally.....
> >
> > A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces
> > attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.
> > For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged,
> > masculine features.
> > However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and
> > set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up
> > his backside.
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