MontrealPhoenix -> RE: BMI is Bull Sh*t (4/2/2008 8:57:34 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: JohnWarren quote:
ORIGINAL: Gwynvyd So do you guys ever get squicked when you see HWP on a profile? Gwyn I just laugh and shake my head. If someone is more interested in looks than skill, it's their loss. After all, I've gotten to know some of the best dominants in the scene and most of them, like myself, have a few more pounds than is currently fashionable. Seriously, I counsel people to be very cautious about excluding potential partners for "qualifications" that aren't completely vital to what the person needs for a successful bonding. We are not really a numerous group and you could well be excluding the one person who could make you very happy. [From The Loving Dominant, third edition, copyrighted and posted here by the author. Please do not repost] In my opinion, one of the major, self-imposed impediments both dominants and submissives bring to the search for a partner is a long list of requirements. Now this doesn’t mean that we need to drop back to the level of a teen-aged boy whose only requirements in a sex partner is she needs to be alive and breathing. Compatibility]] is important even in a casual scene. (And if you don’t believe me, try watching the outcome of a scene between a pain-play bottom and a pony/control-play top.) In a long-term relationship, it’s vital, but just what does it take to make “compatibility”? Each time you add another “must have” requirement to your list, you are shaving the list of candidates by a greater or lesser degree. Ask yourself, “Is hair color really that important?” Most people, upon reflection, will agree it isn’t. How about weight? Age? Sex? Species? Ok, maybe I’m going a little far here, but at least, you’re thinking, and that’s the important thing. Look at your list and strike out anything that’s “nice to have” but isn’t a “must.” I agree 100% in fact i tend to judge a dom on how well we get along rather than having requirements at all - aside from kink compatibility, i'm a painslut and a sensual dom just won't do it for me. I remember when i met my first dom. I caught sight of him and thought "oh hell no, he's not what i'm looking for, he's too old (he looks older than his real age. We talked for a while and i still didn't think we were compatible but our agreement was to be for training only since his wife isn't comfortable with his owning a slave. So i thought "what the hell, the idea here is for me to learn more about D/s and what my likes/dislikes are so i said yes. Am i ever glad i did! We turned out to be super compatible and in fact had difficulty saying goodbye when the month's contract was up. The more requirements, the more difficult it is to find someone and it makes me laugh that those with a long list of them moan about how difficult it is to find someone..
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