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offerin ones self - 10/4/2005 11:32:22 AM   
Tatora


Posts: 7
Joined: 9/25/2005
Status: offline 		I am having trouble with how to offer my self to my mistress. She has told me that she wants to train me and I want her to do it also. But she wants me to offer my self to her and I just don't know quite how to do it. Any suggestions.
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RE: offerin ones self - 10/4/2005 11:35:08 AM   
Foibey


Posts: 54
Joined: 5/11/2005
Status: offline 		Have you asked her what she means by that? Different mistresses are looking for different thigns and will use the same words to describe those different things because the differences are subtle. There's no proscribed way to do anything.

(in reply to Tatora)
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RE: offerin ones self - 10/4/2005 11:48:26 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		I agree with Foibey.

If she can't or won't tell you want she means then it may be a vague desire on her part.

Multiple women here can tell you what we think it means and what would be a good approach to us but that might not work for her.

If you ask her and she can't be more specific let us all know and we'll give you some examples. But then use your knowledge of her to judge which ideas might work best. And be prepared if they don't work.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Foibey)
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RE: offerin ones self - 10/4/2005 12:19:33 PM   
Tatora


Posts: 7
Joined: 9/25/2005
Status: offline 		She want the transfer of power from me to her and she want me offer my self to her rather than her claiming me.

(in reply to Foibey)
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RE: offerin ones self - 10/4/2005 12:27:19 PM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Tatora

She want the transfer of power from me to her and she want me offer my self to her rather than her claiming me.


Sounds like you are "offering yourself" quite fine.

One of the major bitches us doms have is "I don't know how to read minds" so I don't see anything wrong with you asking her to be more precise. After all that's just what WE do when someone says "I need you to be more dominant."

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to Tatora)
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RE: offerin ones self - 10/4/2005 12:38:13 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		I have to back up John here; just not much information.

Is this all she'll tell you, Tatora?

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to JohnWarren)
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RE: offerin ones self - 10/4/2005 12:41:12 PM   
Foibey


Posts: 54
Joined: 5/11/2005
Status: offline 		There is perhaps a 2nd possibility, that she just wants you to more proactively submit rather than have her "make" you. Although that's speculation on my part here, and you really should talk this out thoroughly with your mistress if you're uncertain.

(in reply to thetammyjo)
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RE: offerin ones self - 10/4/2005 8:45:55 PM   
MsHoney2you


Posts: 42
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline 		If your Mistress has asked you to 'offer yourself' could it also mean she wants to know what it is you offer to her? As others here have stated, yes, you need more info from her to be specific to HER needs, but, this could also be a test to you, for you to let her know specifically what you bring to the relationship, what you wish to 'give' to her so she does not have to draw it out of you.

I suggest you tell her what you offer her, what you bring and give to her willingly, for her to control, then ask her if that was what she had in mind. Many Dommes I know do not want to take, we want to receive what is given willingly until we feel comfortable enough within the relationship to then push the envelope and take what we want. That comes only with time together and the building of trust.

Simply my thoughts, YMMV,
Ms Honey

(in reply to Foibey)
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RE: offerin ones self - 10/4/2005 11:19:44 PM   
UtopianRanger


Posts: 3251
Status: offline 		Gotta agree with the rest... At this time, the dynamic as she's explained it to you, just doesn't sound very definitive.


Good luck tho.


- The Ranger


_____________________________

"If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

-General George S. Patton


(in reply to Tatora)
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RE: offerin ones self - 10/4/2005 11:38:40 PM   
LustyAngel


Posts: 3
Joined: 8/21/2005
Status: offline 		Both of you need to have a defined plan as to what she wants from you and what you need from her.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Tatora

I am having trouble with how to offer my self to my mistress. She has told me that she wants to train me and I want her to do it also. But she wants me to offer my self to her and I just don't know quite how to do it. Any suggestions.


(in reply to Tatora)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: offerin ones self - 10/5/2005 12:10:40 AM   
MsPurrmeow


Posts: 261
Joined: 10/30/2004
Status: offline
A request that's too vague with no further explanation could be a challenge. It could also be a clue that there is not enough experience or communication skills available to make this work.

Her request could mean a lot of things and until she makes it clear to you, and you are both communicating on the same level, you'll never know.

Be aware, too, that as much griping as you may hear about "Topping from the Bottom", there is also such a thing a "Bottoming from the Top" If she wants you to do all of the work, and offer yourself without her being involved in it at all, that could be something to watch out for. The best and most long-lasting BDMS experiences are when both people are putting forth effort to make it happen.

Start inventorying your skills and attributes and preparing to "present" them to her as well as explaining what you can and will do for her. That could be all she's asking for, but you never know. When I ask for a person to "show me their worth", that's what I'm asking for. Highly likely, though, she wants something different.

Good luck.

(in reply to Tatora)
Profile   Post #: 11
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