some nice ideas

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

some nice ideas

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> some nice ideas

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

some nice ideas - 4/1/2008 6:54:18 PM

lally3

Posts: 595
Joined: 3/4/2008
Status: offline

lets say theres a dom and a sub that for various reasons cannot meet up for a while. cyber and phone start to pall and the connection though strong is starting to feel stretched. lets say the sub is a single mum, on her own and has no time for herself, she cant do overtly D/sy things for her dominant to keep the bond building because of the kids, so what sort of nice things could the dominant come up with, to be there for her, build the bond and her confidence in him.

eg: asking her, once the kids are in bed, to light some candles in the bathroom, pour in some luxuriant bath oil and put on something sexy for bed.

im sure there are some brilliant ideas out there.

ps: this isnt for me, just that there have been a few threads like this and i thought maybe there was room for one that couldnt go the D/s route so much and might come up with some more subtle ideas.

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: some nice ideas - 4/1/2008 7:22:41 PM

SteelofUtah

Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline

When two people seek Real Life and all they have is the Net and Phone, in my experience this is always a Losing Battle becuase at some point both parties need to look at the reality of things and ask themselves if what they want can even be a reality and if they are willing to walk forward and make PLANS to actually make it happen rather than talking about how good it can be.

IF after they have had this discussion and they have set a REALISTIC Timeframe to span from Online/Phone to Real Time THEN some of the following may be worth it.

HAND WRITTEN LETTERS!!! Oh God I loved these. and I mean Nice letters about how much she cares about him and how she longs to be his and him hers and then fantasies about this, NO NOT Bow-chick-bow-wow fantasies but rather "I long for the day when I can make you dinner and prepare it as you like it knowing you have no idea it is planned and watch you as you enjoy what a girl wants to do for you" The Letters I enjoyed most were the ones that explained how she felt and why she was serving because she wanted to serve and not because she felt she had to.

PICTURE HUNT. This was another of my favorites. I gave her a list of places I wanted her to find and then do something erotic in and then take a picture of the place she did it in with something in the picture that showed me exactly where she did it at. For Example it doesn't have to be sexual all the time, she doesn't HAVE to masturbate to make it worth it but I hgave her a list of places or objects that she had to find and once she found them had to do something erotic, she would put captions on the back of the pictures. YES they had to be REAL pictures Not Digital E-mails. I had mailed her a charm braclet and that was the item she put in every picture. One of the items on the list was a PayPhone so she found a payphone and called my voicemail and thought about making love to me so in the picture was a Payphone the Braclet and on the back of the picture it said "I fantasized about making love to you". Another was a Fountain, she sent me a picture of a Drinking Fountain and on the back it said "When I leand down to take a drink I rubbed my pussy and thoutht of you" I kept everyone, there was nothing ever Pornographic in any of the pictures but I found them to be hotter than anything Playboy, Hustler, Club, or Penthouse ever did.

It is easy to be romantic if you think about it and it is easy to turn romance into a D/s concept all you have to do is figure out how.

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to lally3)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: some nice ideas - 4/1/2008 7:47:00 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Oddly enough, I agree with Steel. (I know it isn't a full moon. Maybe something else is at work.)

I am not so hard as to not understand that there are situations where electronic is the best someone can do at the time. Far from it. I realize there are jobs, ums, situations that make real life impossible. This, to Me, is much different than cyber play. This is transposing the electronic to real life.

It sounds simplistic, but I'm a huge fan of those things that can be done either through cam, or pictures taken with a current newspaper. No, the latter may not especially be hot, or designed to get anyone's rocks off, but it does show a level of current commitment.

See, the difference, to Me, is a level of devotion and obedience. How can a sub prove to Me that they are willing to show devotion? Not the easiest task by online means.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to SteelofUtah)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: some nice ideas - 4/1/2008 7:52:03 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

I think you are talking more bdsmy things and specific expressions of the authority dynamic.

The question I tend to have is- what exactly does he want authority over? What services can you provide? Just waking up in the morning can be an expression of your dynamic together. The issue is- what will work for you both?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to LadyPact)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: some nice ideas - 4/3/2008 12:10:12 AM

TwistedLeather

Posts: 189
Joined: 3/9/2008
Status: offline

my question is... why does being a busy single mother affect her ability to do "D/sy" things for her Dom? Ok, sure... she can't have outright sex or talk dirty and such with them around, but there's plenty she can do! i should know, i've had to do! It was just a matter of doing these things discretely, or finding excuses the kids would find acceptable if they were around. But it didn't stop me one bit.

As for technology being their only means... i'd have to say writing special stories or poems, finding meaningful pictures and sending them to him, finding those "kinky" ecards just to let each other know you're thinking of one another, do research on a particular topic and discuss what was learned (IE: spanking techniques, bondage gear, ceremonies or rituals, etc), if you're crafty you can make them something special or unique and mail it to them to have something solid to hold on to... i've had to do the long distance thing before too. Went 8 months without seeing my beloved. And strangely enough, to replace the physical contact we both needed, we both interacted via an online MMORPG (that's an online role playing game for those who don't know) where we played together, did emotes and actions as if we were really together. Simple things, but it was meaningful because we knew each other was sincere behind the thought.

Ok, enough of my sappy ramblings... that's my input.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: some nice ideas - 4/3/2008 12:28:49 AM

LadyPaige

Posts: 187
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

Have they ever met? She could learn to cook his favorite foods. He could give her a morning and/or evening routine to do at the same time every day so that they can have those few minutes of knowing what theother person is doing (or do it together, like a morning cup of coffee). She could keep a journal that she shares with him. He can have her fill out a checklist and research whatever he assigns. He can have her complete assignments exploring those interests and tell him in her journal her thoughts and feelings about it. She can wear clothing she knows he likes, taking pictures and letting him know she was thinking of him when she dressed that morning. He can call her at night and she follow his instructions (bluetooth is great for this).

< Message edited by LadyPaige -- 4/3/2008 12:29:31 AM >

(in reply to TwistedLeather)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: some nice ideas - 4/3/2008 1:07:03 AM

lally3

Posts: 595
Joined: 3/4/2008
Status: offline

i knew there would be some brilliant ideas!

< Message edited by lally3 -- 4/3/2008 1:11:20 AM >

(in reply to LadyPaige)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: some nice ideas - 4/3/2008 1:36:35 AM

MaamJay

Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

At one stage, i had an online Dom ... and He was brilliant with ideas! Here's some:

* Make a "rainy day" envelope ... decorate it by hand (i drew a rainbow with a pot of gold being His face) ... and then put in copies of special conversations, emails, little notes etc. Pull out and read them whenever feeling a bit down. BOTH Dom/sub could do this and get a lot of pleasure from it. Later i also made a special gold box for special little toys and things He sent to me.
* Tasks ... one He gave me was something like: 10 things i like about myself, 9 positive things i do in my everyday life, 8 good qualities i see in my Dom, 7 places i would like to visit; etc etc. Loved doing it and it provided conversation fodder for AGES. Others were research tasks, including one where i had to research clothing websites (i am plus sized) and pick out a full wardrobe of clothes i would buy with unlimited funds. Had to email Him all the links, then He checked out my taste. That was huge fun both to do and discuss.
* Making something special ... i scrapbooked an album of photos displaying my life from birth to the present time, including information about where i was when the photos were taken, and stories as i remembered them. Once He knew my taste in scrapbooking items, He sent some supplies over from USA ... i'm STILL using the pack of pens (and this was early 2003!)
* Tokens ... He asked me to get either an old, incomplete pack of cards or a new cheap pack. i was then instructed to pull out the card that best represented Him (i chose the King of Hearts). i then photoshopped a picture of Him to fit the back of the card and carried it in my purse.

Hope these ideas help and add to those already offered!
Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to lally3)

Profile

Post #: 8