RE: Sometimes, regardless of intent...

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Sometimes, regardless of intent...

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: Sometimes, regardless of intent...

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Sometimes, regardless of intent... - 4/1/2008 10:29:31 PM

hopelesslyInvo

Posts: 522
Joined: 2/10/2008
From: the future
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PhoenixRed

quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelesslyInvo

i have a viewpoint or belief that many would probably find insulting, but in part with it; i would find it more comforting if you were to cry with me.

Oh frack, why the hell would that ever be insulting! Emotions are emotions, we all have them. If we can share them and help each other through the hard times, more power to all of us!

believe me i left 100% of my beliefs that would seem insulting out of my post, i'm just saying what that reasoning would lead me to feel given the situation.

(in reply to PhoenixRed)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: Sometimes, regardless of intent... - 4/1/2008 10:30:48 PM

Pyrrsefanie

Posts: 1222
Joined: 9/18/2007
From: NEW HAMPSHAAAAAAH!
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PhoenixRed
I suppose it may be a moot point, and it has been discussed on the boards before, but sometimes I still feel that me having a "human weakness" is not the thing to do at the time in crisis, especially when it had much more of an emotional impact on him than me.

Guess there is really not a question, per se, here. Maybe I'm just down, and so used to supporting others that at times like this, I wonder...who supports me?

I struggle with the same questions and feelings myself, Phoenix. I'm a big-time empath -- all someone around me has to do is sniffle, and I start bawling.

My condolences to you and your slave. I had to put my German shepherd down several years ago and it was one of the most heartbreaking experiences I've ever had to endure. I still get tears in my eyes when I think about it.

In my opinion, the two of you are supporting each other. You both feel the same pain, so why not take solace in each other's company?

_____________________________

Ти саркастична, це – доля,
Ти артистична в неволі,
Ти симпатична в цій ролі,
Ти синтетична до болю

Read my series, Taking Jessica, on http://www.akashaweb.com !

(in reply to PhoenixRed)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: Sometimes, regardless of intent... - 4/1/2008 11:21:41 PM

PhoenixRed

Posts: 174
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Pyrrsefanie

I struggle with the same questions and feelings myself, Phoenix. I'm a big-time empath -- all someone around me has to do is sniffle, and I start bawling.

My condolences to you and your slave. I had to put my German shepherd down several years ago and it was one of the most heartbreaking experiences I've ever had to endure. I still get tears in my eyes when I think about it.

In my opinion, the two of you are supporting each other. You both feel the same pain, so why not take solace in each other's company?

Thanks very much. I am actually very comforted to find that there are other empaths out there that can sympathize with this situation. I didn't even think when I wrote that, just wrote the way things are...but looking back, I worried that people may think I'm "full of it" for talking about being empathic. He tried so hard to be the "strong man", but I SO felt all that pain and grief. I have to say, my dog is the same age, 13. I know I only have a limited time left with him, and when he does go, I am going to need my mate, my slave and anyone else I can find to help me thorough it cause I'm going to be a total basket case. My dog is my only child. OK, nuff of that. My dog is still alive and doing very well. I've just adopted the mindset that I will treasure the time I had with him, and the years that he enriched my life. Just makes me examine my own mortality and the mortality of those around me sometimes. You are right....we felt the same pain and we did take solace in each other's company, no matter how brief a time that was. Thanks again.

_____________________________

Everyone deserves a break from the person everyone else expects them to be.
In the great experiment known as evolution, evidently there are some people who's ancestors were in the control group.

(in reply to Pyrrsefanie)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: Sometimes, regardless of intent... - 4/2/2008 1:22:28 AM

chezzy52

Posts: 220
Joined: 6/26/2007
Status: offline

PhoenixRedmit would have bothered me more if you didn't at least show one tear.Sometimes being in control is not the proper thing to be or do.To me,you still showed plenty of control just by being there.

(in reply to PhoenixRed)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: Sometimes, regardless of intent... - 4/2/2008 2:25:53 AM

Politesub53

Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

Human first, D or s type second. Everyone has moments, when somethings are more important that worrying about how we are perceived. The main thing is You were there when he needed You. That really is all that counts.

(in reply to chezzy52)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: Sometimes, regardless of intent... - 4/2/2008 2:35:43 AM

MissMagnolia

Posts: 3636
Status: offline

OP, you're not a Domme, you're a human being who has a dominant personality. You always have been, and always will be, a human being first.

I cry when I see death, I cry when I see a life being born, I laugh at something funny, I hug when someones feeling sad, I eat when I'm hungry, and on it goes.

You did a wonderful thing for someone and you showed your humanity too. It doesn't matter if it was with your sub or a complete stranger.

Never be afraid to be what you are.

< Message edited by MissMagnolia -- 4/2/2008 2:36:19 AM >

_____________________________

if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.

(in reply to Politesub53)

Profile

Post #: 26

RE: Sometimes, regardless of intent... - 4/2/2008 6:27:39 AM

MistressVnus

Posts: 1036
Joined: 1/4/2008
From: Central Florida
Status: offline

quote:

Maybe I'm just down, and so used to supporting others that at times like this, I wonder...who supports me?

Believe it or not, a sub/slave really likes to be able to "comfort" their Mistress from time to time. It makes them feel as though their "service" has a value. And, if he is male, almost ALL MALES have the "white-knight-syndrome." They NEED to feel that they can come to the rescue and be a comfort for you. Just allow yourself to be human and allow him to be your comfort at times. Him seeing you emote may have helped him more than you know. It's kind of like sending the message to your sub that, hey, it's okay to FEEL, and GRIEVE. A very necessary process to get through a loss.

_____________________________

In the ties that bind,
Mistress Venus
http://www.mistressvenus.com

"I'm not IN the lifestyle. The lifestyle is in Me!"

(in reply to PhoenixRed)

Profile

Post #: 27

RE: Sometimes, regardless of intent... - 4/2/2008 8:10:43 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

You need to find people who will be supportive of you.

Guess what? That can be a lover, a slave, a friend, a family member.

I recommend that you not be in relationships with anyone who can't give you as much support as you offer them. Other than young offspring, I can't imagine how a one-sided support dynamic can be very healthy for an adult to have.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to PhoenixRed)

Profile

Post #: 28