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A Domatrix is my signifigant other - 4/2/2008 1:29:07 AM   
MassVandalTree


Posts: 3
Joined: 1/16/2008
Status: offline 		I am in a long term relationship with my signifigant other who is trying to be a dominatrix and doing a good job at it. I personaly am wondering if anyone out there has had this same sort of situation and would be kind enough to share there experince with this kind of situation.
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RE: A Domatrix is my signifigant other - 4/2/2008 1:48:37 AM   
HerLord


Posts: 697
Joined: 2/14/2008
Status: offline 		You might try directing her to the ask a mistress forum... and suggest asking questions...

It is my experience that the one wanting the education is best served asking the questions. If you have ?'s of your own... sounds like you might try the ask a slave/sub forum

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(in reply to MassVandalTree)
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RE: A Domatrix is my signifigant other - 4/2/2008 1:53:24 AM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline 		I'm really not seeing the question. What exactly is it you want to know?

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RE: A Domatrix is my signifigant other - 4/2/2008 2:27:31 AM   
ZenDragoness


Posts: 372
Joined: 1/21/2006
From: Berlin/Germany
Status: offline 		MassVandalTree,

you may want to think about the title dominatrix, english is not my first, but my second language, but i think that in english like in german dominatrix means a woman who is earning her livelihood with domination.

If she is, very well:-). First languager am i right or not concerning the use of the word?

Reading here on the boards, going to munches and other meetings, there are a lot of great teachers in the usa, look out for your local bdsm community, write here with other people is a good way to get started for her and for you.

And welcome to the boards.


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(in reply to MassVandalTree)
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RE: A Domatrix is my signifigant other - 4/2/2008 3:54:09 AM   
MassVandalTree


Posts: 3
Joined: 1/16/2008
Status: offline 		The annotated question is: she is a Dominatrix which wants a light BDSM/vanilla realtionship with me. I was wanting to hear people's expernice of being on my end of that situation.

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RE: A Domatrix is my signifigant other - 4/2/2008 4:44:52 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		What do you want from her. It may start out light but if she really gets into it can you handle it.

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RE: A Domatrix is my signifigant other - 4/2/2008 7:44:48 AM   
Archer


Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		I think most have missed the point. Maybe if I restate the question for you there may be some help forthcomming.

He wants to get some help with dealing with the variuos challanges that come up anytime your SO is involved in the Pro side of the lifestyle.

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RE: A Domatrix is my signifigant other - 4/2/2008 11:06:54 AM   
TallDevoted1


Posts: 17
Joined: 12/10/2007
Status: offline 		I think he might be just using the term dominatrix in the general "she wants to dominate me" sense rather than the prodomme sense.   But the question seems so vague I'm not sure any actual answers are gong to be forthcoming...

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RE: A Domatrix is my signifigant other - 4/2/2008 11:14:34 AM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		Like so many other pros...It seems to me that she appears to be in it for the cash. I smell poser.

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RE: A Domatrix is my signifigant other - 4/2/2008 4:35:54 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		What she does for her job has no relevance on her personal life.

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RE: A Domatrix is my signifigant other - 4/5/2008 3:41:44 PM   
Ebonybbw


Posts: 114
Joined: 12/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Archer

I think most have missed the point. Maybe if I restate the question for you there may be some help forthcomming.

He wants to get some help with dealing with the variuos challanges that come up anytime your SO is involved in the Pro side of the lifestyle.


What is it he wants to know?  Will she be out late?  Will he be forced to cuckold when she returns home?  What?  What is more important is how he feels about having a Pro for a SO?

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(in reply to Archer)
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RE: A Domatrix is my signifigant other - 4/5/2008 10:38:35 PM   
MaamJay


Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline 		No, from the annotated question I get the impression that he is in a long term relationship and his girlfriend has discovered she has a Dominant side and is trying it out on him, and he wonders how that sort of situation works. I think he really needs to hear from other male subs! So chime in guys ...

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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RE: A Domatrix is my signifigant other - 4/5/2008 10:42:56 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MaamJay

No, from the annotated question I get the impression that he is in a long term relationship and his girlfriend has discovered she has a Dominant side and is trying it out on him, and he wonders how that sort of situation works. I think he really needs to hear from other male subs! So chime in guys ...

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

Yes, people need to realize that quite often "vanilla" guys label any kinky/femdom woman "a dominatrix" because that's the only word they know how to use to describe it.  They often do not mean literally, "she dominates men for cash."  In my many many years of dating vanilla/kink-curious guys quite often when they were tied up the first time they said, "So you are a dominatrix then?" and they did not mean I did it for money - they quite literally mean "A woman who likes to dominate her boyfriend and tie him up or hurt him for pleasure."

My advice to the OP:  Be honest with her, communicate about how it all makes you feel, try to figure out what your limits are and convey them to her in an open way.  Depending on her level of experience, she may already have a way she likes doing things....just make sure you always communicate how it makes you feel -- if not DURING the domination, then later - the next day even.    Communication is the most important thing.  There are a lot of powerful emotions involved.

Akasha


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RE: A Domatrix is my signifigant other - 4/7/2008 12:25:51 PM   
AtlantaMistress


Posts: 276
Joined: 6/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MaamJay

No, from the annotated question I get the impression that he is in a long term relationship and his girlfriend has discovered she has a Dominant side and is trying it out on him, and he wonders how that sort of situation works. I think he really needs to hear from other male subs! So chime in guys ...

Maam Jay aka violet[A]


Actually - I checked the OP's post - and he is listed as a switch - enjoying the power exchange, and member since January...so, I am thinking he is using the term Dominatrix as Pro Domme - and wants to know how others have handled having a SO in this line of work.

Before I continue with an answer - OP - Please clarfiy...

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RE: A Domatrix is my signifigant other - 4/7/2008 12:39:29 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm thinking the pro angle isn't what is being asked about here.  It sounds more like the two of them are getting into 'light' activities and are curious about getting started.  I think the choice of the word 'dominatrix' was more the OP's being unfamiliar with the term to use.

Like I said.  I could be wrong.  Perhaps the OP could clarify his clarification.


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RE: A Domatrix is my signifigant other - 4/7/2008 12:43:46 PM   
DianeB269


Posts: 1596
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline 		I was married while I was working as a Pro Dominatrix. We had no problems cuz, I did not have sex with any of my clients.


Diane


quote:

ORIGINAL: MassVandalTree

I am in a long term relationship with my signifigant other who is trying to be a dominatrix and doing a good job at it. I personaly am wondering if anyone out there has had this same sort of situation and would be kind enough to share there experince with this kind of situation.

(in reply to MassVandalTree)
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RE: A Domatrix is my signifigant other - 4/10/2008 11:51:52 AM   
MassVandalTree


Posts: 3
Joined: 1/16/2008
Status: offline 		Sorry for the missuse of words. I did mean pro domme when I said domanatrix. Sorry forthe confusion, I am still learning the lexicon of the BDSM community.

(in reply to DianeB269)
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RE: A Domatrix is my signifigant other - 4/10/2008 12:04:48 PM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Mass are you strong enough emotionaly to handle it. Time will tell.

(in reply to MassVandalTree)
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RE: A Domatrix is my signifigant other - 4/10/2008 12:17:53 PM   
Stephann


Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

What she does for her job has no relevance on her personal life.


I can think of scores of musicans, painters, actors, wall street brokers, and politicians who might disagree.

The ideal for life is often to do professionally, what we wish we could do with our time personally.

Mass,

It sounds like you're still trying to figure out what BDSM and D/s is, and how it applies to your life.  For better or worse,. we tend to learn a lot about ourselves through our positive and negative experiences with our partners.  Does your girlfriend like to give you orders?  Does she like tying you up?  Does she ask you to tie her up, or discipline her?  Those answers will give you a (somewhat) clearer picture as to how things might go in the future.

Stephan


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