MaamJay
Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
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Yes I was going to say the same. Living this 24/7 doesn't mean being locked in a cage in the basement for 20 hours and brought out to play for the other 4! Well, at least it doesn't for MOST! I am sure there are some very few who live that way. It's possible to have a balanced lifestyle.
That said, the pro-Domme isn't necessarily all bad for an initial "taster", but hopefully She is well established and reputable. She may be able to give you some references. And the Dungeon is generally safer than a hotel room ... for several reasons.
* Any equipment attached to the wall etc should be safely attached ... unlike jury-rigging some bondage device using hotel furniture!
* She will have all Her toys ... plus first aid and safety equipment ... on hand in Her Dungeon and will be able to access what She needs immediately instead of searching in Her toy bag saying "I'm sure I put the handcuff keys in somewhere!"
* presumably it will be sound-proofed ... you really don't want the hotel staff bursting in fearing someone is being assaulted ... or worse, the police!
I have never pro-Dommed as in for money, but I have done "first sessions" for newbies. I insist they should have at least 2 hours available AND not be needing to rush off to anywhere important such as work thereafter. That's because I take at least 15 mins to show them around the play area/Dungeon and appropriate parts of the house (eg toilet, bathroom, maybe kitchen if they might need to fetch a drink) and to talk and get them relaxed a bit. W/we've usually done some negotiations online or on phone previously, but I review those and make sure W/we are in agreement. Then I get them to strip and I spend time inspecting them and taking a medical history ... fun initial play and very important that I know what illnesses/injuries they have or have had, medications etc. I usually touch each part as W/we discuss it to get them used to My touch. So at least 30-40 mins have passed before I move on to the first main play. If I am going to do any impact play (spank, flog), I move on to it next so I can watch the response of the skin over the rest of the session. Everyone's skin responds differently, some go red quickly and fade just as fast, some redden and are slow to fade, some are slow to go red etc. Depending a bit on how long that goes and the responses of the sub, I might move to a second activity, I might not. I tend not to do full restraint bondage on the first session, so they know they can get away if they need to, but I might do a rope harness. With at LEAST half hour to go, I bring the play to an end and move to aftercare, bringing the sub back to earth. I insist they have a bite to eat, water or a soft drink and are talking lucidly before I allow them to leave. If more time is available, I may have them do a simple chore for Me to reinforce that submission doesn't end with play! Especially if they have been allowed to cum, even though that flips some boys' sub switch OFF I try to reinforce that it shouldn't if they aspire to being more than an occasional sub.
OK to clarify ... that's NOT trying to say what the Domme you are going to see SHOULD do ... it's just telling you what I choose to do and why. And I have included that here so it might guide some of the questions you should want answered during the initial negotiations. And if you go ahead with the proDomme, DO take advantage of the offers of either GoddessTeaze or slaafje to make a safe call to. If you're not sure what that means, search for threads about safe calls or ask them!
Maam Jay aka violet[A]
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Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)
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RE: what can 4 hours session include ? - 
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