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What do you do for your sub/slaves? - 4/2/2008 12:14:04 PM

submissfifi

Posts: 51
Joined: 9/30/2007
Status: offline

Hi Sirs/Masters/Doms,

I was just wondering if you could give me a little insight into the other side of things. I'm a submissive female who one day wants to be with a male dominant partner. I was just curious to know what you do for your sub/slaves? I know the majority of the time its the other way around, but I was thinking in those tender, caring and loving moments what you do? I'm not really talking about anything on a kinky level, but feel free to share those things, I get the reasons why you spank your sub/slave..I'm more curious for the dare I say it vanilla things you share. (its hard to explain really)

I suppose in a simple way a side from the evil/sadistic streak, I'd like to hear more on the you as a person/vanilla/loving/boyfriend side.

Also another curious question is how often are you in touch with your slave/sub? is it daily, every other day etc...or do you feel it should be the sub/slave who is always the one to need too or want to be in contact with their Sir/Master?

Just trying to gain a better insight into the lifestyle from a dominants prespective, to help me understand the dynamic some more. Be grateful to hear any views/feedback. Thanks for taking the time to read my questions and I really look forward to the replies.

Submissfifi x

Post #: 1

RE: What do you do for your sub/slaves? - 4/2/2008 12:48:34 PM

SteelofUtah

Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline

Throughout my journey here in this lifestyle I have tried many differnent things.

I have been the Kind of Dom who waits for the sub to call me and then I fulfil their desires in return for thier submission to my will.

I have been the Kind of Dom who calls them and tells them to await my arrival and to be prepared to do whatever I say.

I have been the kind of Dom who cares nothing about thier wants and only fulfills thier needs, and at times I have not understood thier needs and only focused on my wants.

I have tried to do this lifestyle many different ways but only the most recent has made me happy.

Today I am a Husband/Father/Dominant/Lover and usually in that order.

The way I see my Balance today is one that requires sacrafice on both parts and understanding if patience isn't always possible. I take into account that before Master and slave that we are Human. So there are times that she is tired and I rub her shoulders. There are times that I let her sleep in and I make her breakfast. There are times when I take care of the Um and the House and give her a break.

There are also times when I push her harder than anyone ever has, I push her so that when she colapses and goes to give up I can show her just how far shes come and that it was never about how far she had to go.

I try to help her become the person that I truely believe she can be.

To the outside world we are a young loving couple and behind closed doors we are often the definition of young love. Today I am a loving man. I used to think that love ruined a D/s relationship because it made certain things I wanted HARDER to require, but with love I find that she is more willing to do the things I want and the things that she isn't I find aren't really that important to me.

We are seeking a second girl in our house at the current time and it has become both of us looking rather than Me wanting is and her agreeing to it. Today we get to Share EACHOTHERS desires rather than only Experiencing MINE. Today I am Less Selfish and more content with who we are and what that means as a couple.

I nolonger require her to do things to prove that she WANTS to be with me, I simply trust that she does and enjoy the life I have with this person who has given herself to me completely and in return I gave Myself in return.

So what do I do for my slave? I give myself completely in return to her.

Some might call this Bullshit or Sappy Love Water logged Crap. Truth be told. God I love this woman and see everything I do as being just what I want to do not something I feel I need to.

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to submissfifi)

Post #: 2

RE: What do you do for your sub/slaves? - 4/2/2008 1:14:24 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

In answering for my owner, he gave me an environment in which I can thrive (usually, ha ha) and be true to myself. He taught me to like myself. He let me love and adore him as I need to love and adore him.

I could want for nothing more, when I think about it.

_____________________________

Good is the enemy of great.

(in reply to submissfifi)

Post #: 3

RE: What do you do for your sub/slaves? - 4/2/2008 2:13:20 PM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: submissfifi
I suppose in a simple way a side from the evil/sadistic streak, I'd like to hear more on the you as a person/vanilla/loving/boyfriend side.

Personaly I find the question slightly odd, maybe more appropriate for non-lifestylers whom through either choise or circumstance only have occassional contact with their girl.

Personaly, given I was introduced to the lifestyle in My early to mid teens I have never been a 'boyfriend', and don't do 'vanilla'..... Many of the things folks tend to refer to when using the lable vanilla go hand in hand with the lifestyle dynamic. When My girl is upset, insecure, scared, ect. I am her first port of call for comfort, reasurance, security, advice... still as her Master, still within the dynamic there is no 'time-outs' in 24/7 TPE but also no lack of adressing the girls emotional needs, it comes with having a duty of care.

quote:

Also another curious question is how often are you in touch with your slave/sub? is it daily, every other day etc...or do you feel it should be the sub/slave who is always the one to need too or want to be in contact with their Sir/Master?

My girl is 24/7, she lives with Me. When I have had other girls who didn't live with Me then I tend to require a touch of base, at least a passing check that all is ok at least once a day. Whilst in My experience the greater 'need' for that regular reasuring touch of contact is on the girls side, I miss My girl when she isn't here and if it is a non-live in girl then I grow concerned if there is too long between contact.... I have a responcibility for a girl I take on and even just a quick message that they are OK means My mind is at rest about the possibility of any problems having arisen.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to submissfifi)

Post #: 4

RE: What do you do for your sub/slaves? - 4/2/2008 2:17:05 PM

Justme696

Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline

I give her all she needs and asks for. There is nothing much special to it.
It is just a loving relation + bdsm. We discuss what we want and ask for.

_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 5

RE: What do you do for your sub/slaves? - 4/2/2008 4:28:06 PM

ShadowKing

Posts: 13
Joined: 11/18/2007
From: West Richland, WA
Status: offline

Perfectly said Steel.

Being a Dom is about responsibility and taking care of what is mine.

The level of trust required for true submission can only be given when a Dom proves himself worthy of it. All of her needs are my responsibility. As a woman, she needs security, safety, and to know that her gift to me is not taken lightly.

It is my job to grow her and shape her into the woman that she wants and needs to be. To give her the self confidence to be proud of who she is.

Why do I punish her? Why do I caress her? Why do I teach her? Why do I shape her into a beautiful creature?
Because I love her.

If I did not care for my sub, then I would not play with her. The purpose of my Strength comes from a desire to train and grow her.

(in reply to SteelofUtah)

Post #: 6

RE: What do you do for your sub/slaves? - 4/2/2008 5:04:54 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Some doms do not give tender caring moments at all.

I am who I am. I stay true to myself. My partner decided that's exactly what he wanted in his life.

That's what matters- the specifics are only relevant to us.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to ShadowKing)

Post #: 7

RE: What do you do for your sub/slaves? - 4/2/2008 5:44:44 PM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

besides being Daddy, He's also my best friend forever - we talk about anything and everything. Daddy and i share our love for eclectic music to NFL Sundays ...shopping is our favorite thing to do. He's there whenever i need to shoulder to cry on after a long day or to encourage me to go that extra mile when i want to give up. His advice has helped me through some tough spots within the 2yrs of our relationship. He reviews and critiques my reviews before sending them to my editor ...in fact He helped me recognized my talent for writing and other things i didn't know about myself as well as boosted my self confidence and esteem after a tough divorce. importantly, without Daddy, i wouldn't know what my self worth was and what it means to me ...and to Him.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to submissfifi)

Post #: 8

RE: What do you do for your sub/slaves? - 4/2/2008 5:54:02 PM

CelticPrince

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline

quote:

I was just wondering if you could give me a little insight into the other side of things. I'm a submissive female who one day wants to be with a male dominant partner. I was just curious to know what you do for your sub/slaves? I know the majority of the time its the other way around, but I was thinking in those tender, caring and loving moments what you do? I'm not really talking about anything on a kinky level, but feel free to share those things, I get the reasons why you spank your sub/slave..I'm more curious for the dare I say it vanilla things you share. (its hard to explain really)

fifi,

each "D" is different in their approach to their "s" but in my opinion, the wise "D" is well aware of what he has in the "S" and works hard to show that "S" is highly valued.

CP

(in reply to submissfifi)

Post #: 9

RE: What do you do for your sub/slaves? - 4/2/2008 11:29:07 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Not a male, but a Domme just the same.

I won't list everything here, but one thing that has become very special between My boy and I has been My petting him. This isn't exactly a vanilla activity, as it is something that I do as he is sitting at My feet. I'm quite fond of sitting with him, either while I'm at the computer, or even watching some sort of tv, to reach down and pet his head and gently scratch the back of his neck with My fingernails. These have become particular favorites of his. They tend to make him peaceful and know that he is loved and appreciated.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to CelticPrince)

Post #: 10

RE: What do you do for your sub/slaves? - 4/3/2008 2:14:05 AM

TwistedLeather

Posts: 189
Joined: 3/9/2008
Status: offline

i know, i'm not a Dom/me... but i'm owned by one. And aside from those moments when i'm completely under his control, the rest of the time it's like any other relationship. Well, sort of... We hug and cuddle, talk and tease, watch movies, take walks, share intimate moments that have nothing to do with sex or play, confide in each other, he's there to hold me when i need to cry, he's ready and willing if i hand him a whip, he knows me well enough to know what i need without my having to voice it, and he's very considerate to the things i want (i really do need a collar that says spoiled), etc.

my Owner has given me stability as he's always there beside me, supporting me and encouraging me to accomplish all i can.
He's given me safety, by looking after me and making sure the things i do (that i don't always think through first) aren't going to get me into trouble or harms way.
He's given me love, and allowed me to love him in return unconditionally... problems, issues and all.
He's given me acceptance for all i am, the "baggage" that came with me, and all my strange little quirks without judgement or ridicule.
He's given me hope that i can over-come the nightmare i have gone through.
He's given me happiness.
A reason to wake up in the morning, a reason to keep trying even when i fail.
And my Owner has given me freedom to dream again, and reach for those stars.

And for all this, i only have to do what comes naturally to me; be his loyal and faithful lap kytten.

_____________________________

Wishing you lots of whacks and giggles!

www.americantwistedleather.com

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 11

RE: What do you do for your sub/slaves? - 4/4/2008 1:45:34 PM

Floggings4You

Posts: 240
Joined: 12/18/2006
Status: offline

My submissive and I have been together for more than three months now. Early in O/our relationship, it became very clear that there was a real need for daily communication. Although W/we usually see each O/other several times a week, W/we still talk on the phone at least once daily, and My sub emails Me a daily journal entry, to which I reply, as well.

On top of that, I've helped her move furniture, taken her and her children out to lunch, taken her out to dinner many times, and even cooked dinner for her at her place when she worked late. I try to be a good listener, and although she (of course) does not give Me orders or make demands, she is free to express her preferences, her likes and dislikes.

Because W/we have a great many interests in common, it's often rather easy for Me to find ways to fulfill her fantasies, and satisfy her needs, while fulfilling Mine at the same time.

I've loaned her several books on BDSM and D/s, and she's loaned Me a couple, as well. We enjoy watching movies together, have attended a couple concerts, three munches, and are planning to attend a three-day weekend campout in June, and a trip to Michigan in the fall.

(in reply to TwistedLeather)

Post #: 12

RE: What do you do for your sub/slaves? - 4/4/2008 6:14:30 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I had my yearly check up with the opthalmologist/opthalmic surgeon this week. Knowing that after dilation of the pupils I would find driving home very difficult, he rearranged his schedule to drive me there and back.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to Floggings4You)

Post #: 13

RE: What do you do for your sub/slaves? - 4/4/2008 7:55:09 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

First, you need to know that my girl and I aren't sexual partners.

What I do for her: ground her emotionally/spiritually in a way that is different than how she grounds herself. I act as an adviser in her business (of which I am a partner), finances and estate planning (we are each other's medical power of attorney). I create an atmosphere that is conducive for her to explore herself and new things/people that come into her life. I require her to serve the leather community in some way.

In other words, I lead, guide, protect and support her in many different ways. Of course, if you asked her what I do for her, the answer would probably be different. These are the things that I make a conscious effort to do. Whether or not she is aware of them, I don't know and how much she's aware of what I do unconsciously, I don't know.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to submissfifi)

Post #: 14

RE: What do you do for your sub/slaves? - 4/4/2008 8:17:19 PM

msterfixer

Posts: 78
Joined: 3/25/2006
Status: offline

If I want to spoil her, I buy her dishsoap. Punishment is when I forget, she pouts.

(in reply to submissfifi)

Post #: 15

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