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ShaktiSama -> RE: Am I a Dominant BITCH? (4/3/2008 12:36:51 PM)
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Short answer to thread title: yes! Aren't we all? [:D]
More seriously, about the actual OP post...
I consider "bitch" to be something of an honoriffic from most people, so being called one is not a problem. However, about this particular scene? Nah. I would not have done it in a million years. I know it's just me, but I have always been extremely careful about how I play. I'm even more cautious in situations where the people involved have a pre-existing relationship. And I would be very reluctant to do emotionally edgy play of any kind with close friends.
I'm not really sure this is about dominance or bitchiness per se--could just be a matter of personal taste. I hate getting involved in someone else's relationship melodrama; even trying to referree, mitigate or counsel that sort of thing is the Yuck, and causing it is right freaking out. That's not necessarily about dominance or bitchiness per se, it's just about avoiding things I don't like.
So far as the general sub-domme dynamic here...I think anyone who knows you well should know by now that you occasionally "teach people a lesson" with your strap-on. You have a very strong domme persona and an incredibly consistent fetish. Pushing through resistance and discomfort, emotional and physical, is what you do.
You have said more than once that when someone's eyes are bigger than his hole, your impulse is to give him what he asks for--no matter how he cries.
If this woman is a close friend, she will probably have heard you say this many times. In this scenario, she probably thought that her man was the one who was going to suffer the most discomfort in the scene. She was wrong. But once you became aware of discomfort--hers or his--while you were dishing out something that someone asked for? I think your reaction was pretty predictable. "Bitch" or not, you were certainly being Diane!
I'm not saying that this specific behavior would be generally acceptable from just anyone. But in my opinion, the one most important thing that ANY dominant can be, male or female, is consistent.
People lay a lot of responsibility on dominants, but submissives are also adults who have to make intelligent decisions. There is no one set of expectations or rules you can lay on all dommes; we are all different. The only thing you can count on a dominant woman to be is herself.
A tigress will not change her stripes. Smart money says...don't lock yourself in that cage if you don't want to be subject to her nature.
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