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CaptCraig -> RE: anal stretching / fisting (10/7/2005 5:14:33 PM)
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While I was driving down I 95 the other day, (going a little faster than I should have) I passed under a bridge only to see a cop on the other side with a radar gun laying in wait. The cop pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronising smirk, asked:
"Runway too short?" Pissed me off cause I am a pilot.
To which I replied, "I'm late for work".
To which he asked, "What do you do?"
"I'm a rectum stretcher", I responded.
The cop was surprised and confused "A what? He asked. A rectum stretcher?? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"
"Well" I said, " I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, work side to side until I get my other hand in, and then I slowly start to stretch the hole, until it's about six feet."
Then the cop asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do you do with a six foot asshole?"
To which I politely replied," You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge....."
Speeding ticket: $105.00
Court costs: $45
Look on copper's face: Priceless
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