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Property??? - 10/5/2005 2:27:11 AM

Looking4answrs

Posts: 9
Joined: 9/2/2005
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I was wondering if anyone had an opinion on this…….Assuming that a dominant and her sub were in a LTR (marriage) that is based on mutual interests, both in and out of the lifestyle, is there ever a point and time when the dominant starts to view her sub as more of an object rather than a life partner due to treating him as a sub for a prolonged period and starts to feel "different" about him? I am not saying this happens and I am certainly not accusing any one person or groups of people of doing this. It is basic psychology, at least the way I see it and is just something that I personally worry about when thinking about getting involved in a LTR that is intertwined with femdom. I would appreciate any thoughts or comments. (I hope I explained this well enough but will be more than happy to clarify if need be).

Looking

Post #: 1

RE: Property??? - 10/5/2005 3:53:54 AM

Foibey

Posts: 54
Joined: 5/11/2005
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Not necessarily. I'd have thought it would depend entirely on how you saw and interacted with your sub/slave. Relationships differ.

(in reply to Looking4answrs)

Post #: 2

RE: Property??? - 10/5/2005 7:00:26 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
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hhhmmm....

Well, I have Ds relationships then I have vanilla ones, I don't mix them (one vanilla relationship in a marriage is all I need).

I don't think that viewing a person as property or an object is necessarily a bad thing but it depends on the ethics of the people involved.

I come from working class background where I was taught you take extra care of any"thing" you own cause you may never get something else to replace it and you may not have the money to repair it.

As a result of this I probably take better care of someone I consider property than someone I consider my equal.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Looking4answrs)

Post #: 3

RE: Property??? - 10/5/2005 7:40:54 AM

Shadowsdream

Posts: 35
Joined: 9/2/2004
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Yes...at a certain point in My relationships with those I choose to own for a lifetime...a moment occurs when I begin to view them as property. It is a wonderful moment for them and Myself for when this occurs we both know that a certain emotional threshold has been attained that brings an even deeper level of care and respect on both sides of the whip.
I have never viewed the concept of "property" for Myself as a negative though it could be if the owner began to feel disdain rather than pride in their property. Once again one of the questions with no definitive answer.

www.mistressmarlene.com

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 4

RE: Property??? - 10/5/2005 8:21:58 AM

LadyKim

Posts: 191
Joined: 11/11/2004
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I do not believe this can be answered by a general forum because it would depend on the interaction between the two parties, how they viewed the lifestyle and marriage, and individual personalities.

For me, the respect has to be there on both sides. I view a slave I own as property; however, it is an honor not degrading. I take care of my valued possessions and I do not take them for granted. I seek a submissive as a life partner because I know how much more it opens both parties up to exploring and growing together as a unit.

(in reply to Shadowsdream)

Post #: 5

RE: Property??? - 10/5/2005 8:47:26 AM

UtopianRanger

Posts: 3251
Status: offline

Since it's a mutual relationship, I'll just say that I like the whole ''life-partner'' dynamic much better than that of ''property.''

While the thought of ''property'' brings to mind something that is bought, sold, traded and sometimes easily discarded, ''Life partner'' has a much more spiritual, intimate and infinite feeling to it - The choice is an easy one.

- The Ranger

_____________________________

"If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

-General George S. Patton

(in reply to LadyKim)

Post #: 6

RE: Property??? - 10/5/2005 11:06:27 PM

Misstoyou

Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Looking4answrs

I was wondering if anyone had an opinion on this…….Assuming that a dominant and her sub were in a LTR (marriage) that is based on mutual interests, both in and out of the lifestyle, is there ever a point and time when the dominant starts to view her sub as more of an object rather than a life partner due to treating him as a sub for a prolonged period and starts to feel "different" about him?

From reading the questions in your profile, I can see how you also have this one, but, honestly, these questions

"Why does he long to be belittled by her tongue…...told what a small package he has…..how little he resembles a “real” man…..how he can’t satisfy her so she must resort to “other” means? Why is he willing to give up his sexual pleasure in order to please her…..gratify her?"

have absolutely nothing to do with the life, for example, my submissive has with me.

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"

(in reply to Looking4answrs)

Post #: 7

RE: Property??? - 10/6/2005 12:57:01 AM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

"Why does he long to be belittled by her tongue…...told what a small package he has…..how little he resembles a “real” man…..how he can’t satisfy her so she must resort to “other” means? Why is he willing to give up his sexual pleasure in order to please her…..gratify her?"

have absolutely nothing to do with the life, for example, my submissive has with me.

I know what you mean, and I don't participate now, nor plan to participate in a lot of humiliation, but I do know it is the fantasy of a lot of men who have contacted me. M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to Misstoyou)

Post #: 8

RE: Property??? - 10/6/2005 9:26:26 AM

lonewolf05

Posts: 830
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline

I know what you mean, and I don't participate now, nor plan to participate in a lot of humiliation, but I do know it is the fantasy of a lot of men who have contacted me. M
-------
for the 1st posting;

and my 2 cents..as stupid as i sound here........"I" have never........understood........humiliation. but yeah..i am not...s/m either...

as to being Her property? yeah. i am. --esp. since there is NOT romance...involved.

woofie

< Message edited by lonewolf05 -- 10/6/2005 9:27:14 AM >

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

Post #: 9

RE: Property??? - 10/6/2005 11:12:07 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

I've learned from experience that slave relationships are not for me. If I have property, then it is my responsibility to take care of it. The property does its job for me, when I need it to. That's not the kind of relationship I care to have with a potential life partner----for me, it's far too limiting. I don't like to objectify the people I am with, outside of a scene context. As for the responsibility----I found that I don't want to have that level of responsibility for someone I haven't given birth to.

Ms Francine

(in reply to lonewolf05)

Post #: 10

RE: Property??? - 10/6/2005 10:24:52 PM

lonewolf05

Posts: 830
Joined: 6/21/2005
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quote:

responsibility for someone I haven't given birth to.

Ms Francine

===================
i'm sorry? what happened to who? WHAT...........ARE You talking about?
"I" was NOT aware anyone HAD responsibility for those they DID birth?
hell..........MY parents told me to get the F****** out when i was 16 and NEVER darken the doorway again. at ten my ole man burned every thing i owned even resembling toys...and told me to start being a man.....
WHERE is this "responsibility" ???????? isn't that what ya raise kids for is to have em become adults.........on their own w/o you??????????????????

or did i grow up in a world YOU didnt hear about called independant??????????

very weird to ME..............................

whoa

the wolf

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 11

RE: Property??? - 10/6/2005 11:36:09 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
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quote:

"I" was NOT aware anyone HAD responsibility for those they DID birth?
hell..........MY parents told me to get the F****** out when i was 16 and NEVER darken the doorway again. at ten my ole man burned every thing i owned even resembling toys...and told me to start being a man.....

or did i grow up in a world YOU didnt hear about called independant?

Woolfie, Your experiences growing up were about abuse, not about loving parents who raise their children to be independent, healthy, and functional. Your experiences cannot be applied (I hope and pray) to the majority of parents and their children. M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to lonewolf05)

Post #: 12

RE: Property??? - 10/7/2005 12:58:07 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Thanks, M!

Wolfie, wouldn't you say that SLAVERY and INDEPENDENCE are opposite things? My slave is not an independent being, he/she looks to me for everything.

< Message edited by LadyHibiscus -- 10/7/2005 12:59:29 PM >

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

Post #: 13

RE: Property??? - 10/7/2005 1:07:30 PM

Kasia

Posts: 442
Joined: 6/25/2005
From: The Coast of Adria
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

Woolfie, Your experiences growing up were about abuse, not about loving parents who raise their children to be independent, healthy, and functional. Your experiences cannot be applied (I hope and pray) to the majority of parents and their children. M

Exactly.
Even with grown up kids I still feel responsible for them in many aspects. And I feel responsible indeed for any misjudges they may make, I feel I didnt teach them about life enough or gave them enough selfrespect in raising. Fortunately that doesnt happen too often and I do know I tend to overreact when my children are concerned.
What you talk about, lonewolf, is, I would say, a sad exception of what a normal parents should be.

_____________________________

I DO have profile - just lost an S somewhere along the way

Kassia

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

Post #: 14

RE: Property??? - 10/7/2005 2:30:00 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Thanks, M!

Wolfie, wouldn't you say that SLAVERY and INDEPENDENCE are opposite things? My slave is not an independent being, he/she looks to me for everything.

I'm not Wolfie but I'll add my dime here.

My slave is very independent -- he has to be because he must be very active and forethinnking to serve me as well as he does. If he had to constantly check in with me first, he'd get less done, and second, I'd have more work. He's here to make my life easier, not make me more work.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 15

RE: Property??? - 10/7/2005 4:36:25 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

That makes your slave PROACTIVE, which is a brilliant quality!

Would he go making major life decisions without your input?

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 16

RE: Property??? - 10/11/2005 9:06:38 AM

miamislave4mistr

Posts: 3
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

I thinik the more like an owned object a slave is, the closer he will be to his Mistress. There is an intense intimacy in complete control and ownership, and a peace of mind for both parties when he has been stripped of all willfullness and all rights. The two can become one in that way, with all conflict gone. Him a servant and toy for her pleasure, her a fully controlling and free actor. There need be no lack of intimacy and emotion, they are simply both in complete harmony. A blissfull state, though somewhat painfull and humiliating for him and totally pampered for her.

The way it should be.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 17

RE: Property??? - 10/11/2005 2:50:26 PM

lonewolf05

Posts: 830
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline

LadyHibiscus<<

to answer You? slavery and being independant being two opposites? uh..NO!
"I"..AM..independant. i do not look-to-Her for EVERYTHING...NO!
i am quite able to fend for myself..so i am still independant...esp. since i am NOT living inside Her house--per se.
i live...above the garage...in my own separate place..per se..where i sleep and put my few things.
and of course have my own money each month as it comes in...in MY acct...
mentally and emotionally STILL not under-Her-spell since She IS married and there is NO connection between Her and i.
physically? uh, no again. i take care of myself --always have--always will..and at 52 i am too old for a nursemaid.

so...........NO! physically, mentally, emotionally, financially....."I" take care of ME.

but it MAY be an isloated thing? i did the SAME thing with my 1st Mistress as well.

woofie

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 18

RE: Property??? - 10/11/2005 2:52:16 PM

lonewolf05

Posts: 830
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline

quote:

I'm not Wolfie but I'll add my dime here.

My slave is very independent -- he has to be because he must be very active and forethinnking to serve me as well as he does. If he had to constantly check in with me first, he'd get less done, and second, I'd have more work. He's here to make my life easier, not make me more work.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

---------------------------------
---------------------------------
whoops there it is!
couldn't have said it any better............THANK YOU!

the wolf

_____________________________

"there is no gravity, life sucks!"

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 19

RE: Property??? - 10/11/2005 3:01:25 PM

lonewolf05

Posts: 830
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline

BlkTallFullfig;<<<<<<<<
=================
i uh, dunno. i just know what i went through and MY self reliance has gotten me through some damned tough times ALONE where others would've crumbled.....

i AM The Rock.......i AM The Island.......
i have taken care of myself since i left home...w/o anyone around to help out..for the most part.
i went through a bad time, in 2003..when i had an emotional burnout and brokedown.
NO ONE was there to give a damn.
so "I" --------MADE MYSELF get up and start again........on my own 2 feet.....and i am doing great now.
sure. it TOOK it's toll on me. damned straight it did. i will not deny it.
but i made it through without ANYONE ELSE...........
as i have BEEN doing ALL these years........
i hear a lot of b.s. about support groups for one thing or the other.......
????????support? as if??????? NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

but hey.......just me and my mule headed stubborn german temper gets me through EVERY time.......if i was undser the bridge years ago in a cardboard box or when i was living in my van.......dead of winter...........but "I" did it w/o HELP!

thanks
the wolf

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

Post #: 20

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