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RE: Return Collar - 10/5/2005 8:50:24 PM

mystictryst

Posts: 125
Joined: 9/6/2005
Status: offline

I think it depends on what the collar symbolizes.

From reading the posts and from my experience, a collar generally means and/or represents two things:

committment

ownership

Committment, in my world, means something similar to marriage. When a marriage ends, I get to keep the gifts given to me, just as they keep the gifts I gave them.

Ownership is just that. You and your possessions are owned by someone else.

Figure out the nature of your relationship, which I would think should have been evident from the beginning, and decide which course of action is appropriate.

(in reply to PurrfectCuck)

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Post #: 21

RE: Return Collar - 10/6/2005 12:23:24 AM

SadistDave

Posts: 801
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline

In K.C., there are several charitable auctions a year that are run by local fetish clubs. Two of the bigger ones are run by BDSM clubs to support local charites that have meaning in the community.

Newbies and people on a budget have the chance to pick up some good equipment on the cheap. Lifestylers get to clean out their toybags of all the clutter. Local shelters and BDSM friendly non-profit organizations get some much needed cash. It's a win/win/win situation.

At each auction, there are usually several collars donated by people. These collars had some meaning for the original owners at one time, but amazingly, a collars history doesn't mean a damn thing to the people who buy them, or to the charities who benifit from their donation...

-SD-

(in reply to mystictryst)

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Post #: 22

RE: Return Collar - 10/6/2005 10:29:29 AM

Evanesce

Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Once a slave is released, should she return her collar? Or should it be a "prize" for her to keep?

I think the collar always belongs to the Owner. Others believe differently.

One couple I know decided at the beginning of their relationship that if the collar should ever come off, the two of them would destroy it together. The relationship ended and the collar was destroyed by both of them. Although painful, it gave them both some much-needed closure.

Denise
the Kaptin's wench

(in reply to PurrfectCuck)

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Post #: 23

RE: Return Collar - 10/6/2005 10:42:51 AM

nephandi

Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline

i have paied for my collars, i colect them, they do symbolise somthing yes, but that is what a colar symbolise, not that one collar or that, i see them as mine.

(in reply to Evanesce)

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Post #: 24

RE: Return Collar - 10/6/2005 2:19:02 PM

FLButtSlut

Posts: 344
Joined: 3/17/2005
Status: offline

In so many ways, being "collared" and being "married" are similar. It seems to me that the symbols though are quite different.

nephandi,

I agree that as you collect them and purchase them yourself, of course they are yours. But I would ask, did your master give you one when he initially collared you, and do you view that one differently?

Emerald,

I agree with you that it seems really tacky to wear a collar that someone else provided when out with another. Although don't you also wonder how that "other" feels about it?

Denise and IronBear,

Destroying the collar, and especially when done together is rich in the symbolism that the giving of the collar initially represented.

This is an area where the two commitments differ greatly. A wedding ring belongs to the finger it was placed on, a collar, to the person who placed it there. If everyone agrees to keep the collar after the relationship ends, then the idea of placing in a "keepsake" box seems most appropriate.

One area where things don't seem so different....just like most women would not want to wear the ring that was on a previous spouse's finger, a sub/slave doesn't seem to want to wear a collar that was on another either.

(in reply to nephandi)

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Post #: 25

RE: Return Collar - 10/6/2005 4:43:13 PM

nephandi

Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline

FLButtSlut to me a collar is just a pretty pice of jewlery, a collar is a symbol, not that collar, we have not had a collaring cermony yet, we might eventualy, as we get more and more used to this lifestyle, then perhaps i will get one that will mean more, i dont know yet, just as i exepct i will care more aboute my future wedding band than my other rings.

(in reply to FLButtSlut)

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Post #: 26