|
DesFIP -> RE: What are you looking for? (4/7/2008 11:43:27 AM)
|
Figure out what needs weren't met in past relationships. What things other people have that annoy you or make you envious.
Mostly it was vanilla stuff. I'm not a masochist, I'm a bondage bottom so I didn't look at sadists who claimed they would teach me to enjoy it. They won't.
I wanted a man who was at the same stage of life as me, so he would understand what my life is like. A man who's never been a father would find my need to be accessible at a moment's notice incomprehensible. One who's ums are grown wouldn't have the willingness to go through that again. More than that, it was essential to me that he was actively involved with his own because I have zero respect for those who figure being a sperm donor is all that's required to be a father.
You need to think back over every relationship you've had in your life and make a list of the good qualities that attracted you to each partner and the bad qualities that led to the breakup. Then compare future partners to the list. You want to find one with none of the bad qualities and all of the good. Which isn't the same as looking for someone perfect, just perfect for you.
For example, The Man's ex thinks of him as bossy and treating her as though she was too immature to manage her own life. For her, those are negative qualities. For me, he is dominant and nurturing. Good qualities in my book.
|
|
|
|
