RE: Wasted Time... (Full Version)

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MissMorrigan -> RE: Wasted Time... (4/6/2008 5:17:03 AM)

Onlinesub, what you seek is very difficult to achieve and in essence, limited, especially when you consider that those you interact with have other aspects to their lives that need attention and as time goes on, people's circumstances change insofar as a change in priorities, etc... You are in the minority, insofar as most people using this site want to establish a connection offline. I have a friend that has a purely online relationship based on their circumstances, it's long-term (two years) and while I can understand their excitement at all the plan-making that ensues, I also know that there will come a great deal if disappointment eventually and there has been, especially when the object of their desire has suddenly 'disappeared' without contact for weeks, sometimes months on end only to resurface.

As for myself. Once I have established a connection online, moved it to offline and attempted to support it between long distance visits it just didn't pan out and a person cannot see the benefits of their labours, so to speak. It's not something I could take part in without any kind of tactile involvement, and wish you all the best in your endeavours.

quote:

ORIGINAL: onlinesub1
Hmmm Mistress One was a mistake on my part. I rushed in it to quick. The others I took my time to try and know the person and still fails. It would be nice to do something real time, but thats just something I don't want to do at the moment. Too much is going on in my life to bring in people in it. Even if it isn't the website, it's hard not to generalize when I been here longer than most of you and no luck yet. Let people try to put me down, it won't bother me. At least some people have the courtesy to post something good =)



Aileen1968 -> RE: Wasted Time... (4/6/2008 5:40:43 AM)

If you feel you're wasting your time online then get off line and meet someone in the flesh.  It really is much more fulfilling.



MissLily -> RE: Wasted Time... (4/6/2008 6:56:30 AM)

Well.. I don't mean to be rude, but yes, you are waisting your time. And I'm sorry to say you sound a bit whinny too...

I've been dealing with only online now for a while, because I was way too far from a scene for any RT, and I think you're actually lucky to have had long lasting relationships like that. Mine last from three to six months top. But you know what? Online, you can't really expect anything else.

I think you should be realistic and realise that you can't ask a serious comitment from someone hiding behind a screen, especially when you are yourself hidding behind one. If you want serious long term, you need to go RT. I would find it hard to believe that a woman would be ready to invest as much as you seem to ask without anything more tangible.

I also find staying online is very selfish. I've met interesting guys that I really liked, wanted to meet RT, but they didn't. So why on Eearth would I keep this relationship. To cater to the other's needs? nah.

Finally, before blaming anybody or the site, take a long hard look at yourself. Of course these women were rude and what they did was cowardly.

Miss Lily



catize -> RE: Wasted Time... (4/6/2008 9:29:56 AM)

 
I haven’t read the other replies but I always wonder about folks who say ‘don’t waste my time.’  How do you know whether or not it’s going to be time wasted if you don’t try it?
On the other hand, even if it doesn’t work out I look at what lessons I have learned and try not to repeat the mistakes. 



onlinesub1 -> RE: Wasted Time... (4/6/2008 10:03:58 AM)

Yay bashing. Thanks to anyone who posted something good and lol to those who didn't. I'm not going to bother replying to the post after this since it'll feed the forum trolls. If anyone care to talk about this more just send me a pm.



MichiganHeadmast -> RE: Wasted Time... (4/6/2008 10:06:49 AM)

I faked my death to get out of a staff meeting, but it was awkward coming back the next day.



sirsholly -> RE: Wasted Time... (4/6/2008 10:14:02 AM)

i had to do that when i ran out of sick time...called in dead



CheshireSmile -> RE: Wasted Time... (4/6/2008 10:16:51 AM)

Ok this thread was rather strange for me to read. I've heard of people wanting online D/s before but it usually extends to real life eventually, circumstance permitting. May I ask why it is you only want online D/s? Are you intimidated by the idea of submission in meatspace? Cyberspace is great but dude, everyone should have a life offline.

My god, I am one of the most anti-social people I know and I'm not currently in a relationship, but I still have a life outside of the internet. I don't see how anyone could live without at least some sort of semblence of human relationships. The internet is fantastic, but it's not everything.

I am really curious and I will read your answer intently becaues this concept is really intriguing to me. I guess if you keep getting the run around it's you that has to assess the sort of people you are persuing.. It can't always be everyone else.



Aileen1968 -> RE: Wasted Time... (4/6/2008 10:20:01 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: onlinesub1

Yay bashing. Thanks to anyone who posted something good and lol to those who didn't. I'm not going to bother replying to the post after this since it'll feed the forum trolls. If anyone care to talk about this more just send me a pm.


I find it funny and ironic that someone who starts a thread on online relationships is afraid of feeding forum trolls and can't see that he is one of them.



Ebonybbw -> RE: Wasted Time... (4/6/2008 10:23:59 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: onlinesub1

Am I wasting my time?


Online serves only a beginning for me... I need to know there is an opportunity that we will meet.  Otherwise it is all a waste of time to  me.



SailingBum -> RE: Wasted Time... (4/6/2008 10:24:13 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: metamorpha

Don't listen to bitchy answers - they are having fun at your expense.

I was engaged to a man who "died" - chances are that he died only to me, not in real life.  I know the pain of dealing with that.

Hang in there.  You will find someone real.  Don't give in to scams (it seems you avoided one).  There are real people out there who will truly care about you.  I wish I could wave my magic wand and have you find one tonight.



I hear it's a big bad world out there.  So much so ive not left the house in about 15 years hell maybe 20.  For you to have a "real realtionship" you have to leave the house so i hear.  Cyber only is fine makes no dif to me.  To expect to find real ppl in cyberland is just well .. plain nuts.

BadOne



Sirsinini -> RE: Wasted Time... (4/6/2008 10:26:58 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: onlinesub1


I have been a "sub" (judge me for it being online only I don't care) for 8 years or so.

I am still looking, but I keep losing hope everyday =/ Am I wasting my time?

 
You are 21 now and have been on CM since you were
12-14?
Am I the only one who sees this as a problem?  In so many ways?
 
IMHO ......  get a life!  Where the hell were your parents?



PatienceForHer -> RE: Wasted Time... (4/6/2008 11:06:17 AM)

No time is ever wasted, your journey is a learning experience.

Best,
Patience



xxblushesxx -> RE: Wasted Time... (4/6/2008 9:21:47 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MichiganHeadmast

I faked my death to get out of a staff meeting, but it was awkward coming back the next day.


*lolol*!!!



MisterStrongWill -> RE: Wasted Time... (4/6/2008 9:54:16 PM)

Well online domination looses its apeal for most doms, Meeting and contact with another is so much more fun.
With most online encounters I ask myself does your spouse know????



adoracat -> RE: Wasted Time... (4/7/2008 12:09:55 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: atursvcMaam

i am perplexed.  how does one fake their own death on line, and who lets you know? 


unfortunately cases like that make it impossible to deal with REAL deaths.  i got called everything but a good christian white girl when i had to tell james' friends that he had passed away.  it was sudden, he had LITERALLY been talking in a chat when he had a sudden heart attack.

it sucks, definitely.  whether you are really telling the truth, or being hit by the betrayal of finding out that you were lied to.

kitten



SimplyMichael -> RE: Wasted Time... (4/7/2008 6:57:13 AM)

quote:

I am not really sure where to post this, so please move it to the correct spot if needed.

I have been a "sub" (judge me for it being online only I don't care) for 8 years or so.


Nobody thinks less of YOU for being online, they think less of BEING online.

I see some very clear patterns.

You are so desperate that you chase them no matter what crap they throw at you
The partners you crave run away from you
The partners you retained the most respect were friends but not lovers (for lack of a better word)

You pick better friends than lovers.  Also, are those friends all looking for something with more real life interactions?  See the connection? 

You have a choice to make.  Understand the limitations of online and accept them, or talk to your wife about meeting some of these needs.  Or you can  continue to be frustrated and blame others for YOUR issues.



Leatherist -> RE: Wasted Time... (4/7/2008 8:06:25 AM)

So the dude is a married guy, playing "fantasy land" behind his wife's back? Yup-that would be a waste of time.



Dnomyar -> RE: Wasted Time... (4/7/2008 9:38:05 AM)

You all are reading this post wrong. Shame on you. You should know better. What is happening here is that the Op is trying a new way to troll for a Domme.



SimplyMichael -> RE: Wasted Time... (4/7/2008 10:08:16 AM)

The sub who posted the OP has had two 2 year relationship and one 6 month one.  He is 21. 

I was wrong about him being married, turns out he puts career over relationships...

The combination of all that explains everything.



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