RE: Wheelchairs (Full Version)

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mercifulsiren -> RE: Wheelchairs (4/7/2008 1:31:31 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: submissionwheels

Is it possible to be a good subbie, if i'm in a wheelchair?


Yes I belive it is possible for you to be a good subbie.  I belive if you have the drive to be a good sub then there is nothing that can stop you from doing it. 




LadyPact -> RE: Wheelchairs (4/7/2008 1:49:14 PM)

I think, the question really is, do you think you can be a good sub?  If you think you can, or think the possibility exists that you can, that's more the point.  It isn't about what someone doesn't think you have to offer.  It's about what you know you have to offer.  Otherwise, you are basing yourself on the chair, rather than your submission.

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

<snipped to address the point> then a new couple came whose female member was in a wheelchair. I felt like trash because damn this place was just bad all around for a munch. Guess how many others in that group seemed to care? I live with the only two who did and that might explain partly why we stopped attending local events.
.


Not to derail the point, but I wanted to comment on this.  I am a bit surprised that the bar didn't have wheelchair access.  It just goes to show how important it is to those of us who do organize events to check out the venue.  Just because there is no one currently in the group that might have such needs, it doesn't mean there won't be.  




tsatske -> RE: Wheelchairs (4/7/2008 1:53:46 PM)

There are special groups for support, for kinksters who are disabled.
Where is BethonWheels, anyway? She, and many other members of the CM community, prove the answer is a resounding yes.




Najakcharmer -> RE: Wheelchairs (4/7/2008 9:26:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: tsatske

There are special groups for support, for kinksters who are disabled.


http://www.kinked.org would be one of them.




LadyJeelys -> RE: Wheelchairs (4/8/2008 4:41:24 AM)

Yes, of course

However, that said I had a few discussions with some femsubs who are currently seeking this weekend which reminded me just precarious being a searching sub can be. To be honest, I was left wondering, "ok, why would you want a jerk for a Dom?".....the answer of course, was that they so desperately wanted a dom, the were making poor choices. Soooo, my response has a note of caution.

Sometimes in the desire to submit, common sense gets put to the side. Let's be honest, all kinds of subs out there have gotten with the wrong dominant....or at least the wrong dominant for that individiual sub. The consequences are often painful on both physical and emotional levels. Now, add wrong dominant, mixed with sub driven by need then pour in a medical condition and you could end up with disaster. That doesn't mean it has to be, but it means that you'll have to take steps that sometimes subbies skip over. It's far to easy to skip over the "getting to know" (especially the "getting to know if the dominant knows how to be safe") stage when someone feels like they will never find someone. It would be very tempting to say, "Great type me up, do whatever you want to me"......and just take the "risk" of not mentioning, "Really, no we can't do that because I have poor circulation and any kind of pressure is a problem". A good dominant will ask....but even dominants get caught up in fantasy-or just plain don't think of everything. So, again, despite the great fantasy, it would be your responsibility to speak up...even at the risk of her saying, "then we won't work".

Though it really stomps on the fantasy, you, the sub, will have to vet the dominant you find carefully...actually any sub should. Its just common sense.....but common sense doesn't mold itself to fantasy and desire :)




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